OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

JT and I are going this weekend to do our FOCUS test and he is freaking out. So what do us two terribly wayward Catholics need to know about this test?

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

It was nothing to freak out about at all...It took about a half hour. Some of the questions are really silly. Like- do you think you'll feel comfortable being seen by your fiance nude? And some of them make you think about stuff that you have not talked about with your fiance.

Don't worry!! It's no stress!!

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

Like- do you think you'll feel comfortable being seen by your fiance nude?


OMG... how do you answer that... If you say yes they will know he's seen you nude... If you say no... then you just lied to the church....

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

Jt's all freaked out by this. He feels like he is being judged and what not. I told him not to worry because it's a stupid test with generic questions on it. He claims that he's not religious, but he's freaking out that their going to ask him to recite some prayers or something I keep telling him it's stuff about US, but I don't think he gets it.
Oh, and that nude question, geez, talk about trying to trick you! j/k

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

There are no handwritten answers - they are all scaled. Like 1-5 or most likely to least likely - I can't even remember. There are really no religious questions on it at all. It's more like a compatibility quiz.

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

HAHA.. something else to look foward too..

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

Good Luck Rach
Getting sooooooooooo close

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

FH and I just did FOCUS last week. He's not even Catholic and we did fine!!! Don't stress. All the answers are agree, disagree, and uncertain. The married couple we had was so sweet and nice. You will do fine!!

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

FOCCUS was fine... wasn't scary at all. If you haven't spoken to the priest yet remember this one thing:
1. The main reason you are getting married because you want to make little Catholics.

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

We are doing our FOCUS tonight!!

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

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Posted by dita531

FOCCUS was fine... wasn't scary at all. If you haven't spoken to the priest yet remember this one thing:
1. The main reason you are getting married because you want to make little Catholics.

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THis is SOOOO true. Thats all they want to hear really. And I don't believe that they can STOP you from getting married. I truely believe that honesty is the best poilcy-- just don't spill the beans about your wild sex lives!!

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

There is no reason to freak out, I promise! We took it in November and I was REALLY worried, but there was honestly nothing to worry about. Most of the questions are pretty generic and their are no 'right' answers, only preferred answers. There were a lot of questions about money ( I would be comfortable with my future spouse making more money than me) and a lot about family (Do you think in-laws will be a problem in your marriage?) We both got a lot of questions 'wrong', but it wasn't a big deal when we went over it with the priest. After talking to the priest, we ended up spending a lot of time talking about the answers and it helped us to work some things out.

Tell him that he has nothing to worry about. Just try to answer the questions as honestly as possible so that you guys can get something out of it. Good Luck!

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

Thanks everyone JT and I talked and he has calmed downed a bit. He was really scared they were going to quiz him on words to little known prayers and ask him essay questions. Of course he wouldn't listen to me, but you have all eased his worried litttle mind Thanks again!

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

IMO i am catholic, but it seems that the church makes everything seem so difficult...cant you just get married??? Why is there so much involved with the catholic church?? I never heard of testing people before they get married... jeez

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

They ask spiritual, financial things. Things about how you want your life to be, then they compare answers. All you do is answer if you agree or disagree with the statement

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

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Posted by CheeChee

IMO i am catholic, but it seems that the church makes everything seem so difficult...cant you just get married??? Why is there so much involved with the catholic church?? I never heard of testing people before they get married... jeez

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The purpose of the FOCCUS test is to try and get a couple talking about things they may not have yet and to prevent even more divorce among couples. They are not purposly trying to make it difficult to get married.

I personally know a few couples that have not gone past the FOCCUS test and have called off the wedding. I also know couples who have called off their wedding during Pre-Cana.

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

I dont know, i dont think a test of any kind can prevent a divorce. I know couples who are married 32 years that never took any kind of test before their marriage, and they are as happy now as they were then. And couples who went thru the whole precana thing and wound up divorced anyway. I would think it would be enough to let the couple know that if they have any problems they can go the church/priest to discuss it, but asking how you feel if your fiance sees you nude is kinda silly?? I'm gonna agree with the previous post that all they want to hear is that your going to raise little catholics...

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

CheeChee - I agree with you that a test of any kind really won't prevent a couple from getting divorced. I guess they are just trying to prevent it as much as possible. I think that if the test and Pre-Cana 'saves' (for lack of better word) a couple from a miserable life together, then it has done what it was set up to do.

Some people, when their marriage is in trouble, won't even go talk to a couples counselor, let alone a priest. Like I said before, some of the questions are just to get you thinking and talking.

Incidentally, my husband and I never had to take the test and I sort of wish we did - I wanna know how we would have scored!

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

Question - Do you have to go to FOCCUS before Precana?? I scheduled the precana but haven't heard anything about the FOCCUS test.. I'm in Queens so that might make the difference. I'm going to Precana in 2 weeks. Should I worry?

Re: OK, tell me everything I need to know about the FOCUS test.

I don't know why everyone thinks the church is trying to 'trick' you (into admitting you've had sex, etc) or make marriage difficult (with tests and pre cana). it's not a test they score you on and if you get below a certain amount you fail, do not pass the church, do not collect husband....it's just a series of questions to get you talking about certain things that will arise in a marrige with your FH. It's just to help you be open to communicate. They're not trying to make it difficult for you, they're just trying to equip you with some of the tools you'll need for a lasting, happy marriage. And there are PLENTY of books on the market that MANY brides buy like 'the 100 questions to ask before you gt married' and there are similar questions in bridal magazines too, it's just to get you thinking and talkinmg about things having to o\do with marriage. Like the nudity question, it does assume that you probably haven't seen each other naked, but it's not to trick you into admitting anything, f you and your fiance have not seen each other naked prior to the wedding, then that would be a concern to you, and the pre cana people want you to think about that and how it makes you feel and address it. Tey also want you to think about how you'll handle finances or what you'll do when one of you gets sick, etc. It's really no big deal and it's a GOOD thing. it's a tool for you, not a roadblock. Best of luck!