Are you having fun yet?

So, background - when we got engaged in late November, we decided to try to book before Christmas. It was a great move, but I never got that 'We are in love, Life is Great' feeling.

Partly is because we are long distance and we had to spend whole weekends or other days (he's a cop and has a horrible schedule) looking at places.

I'm happy we did that. I really am. Afterwards, I said, 'now i will enjoy xmas!' I definitely did and am looking forward to planning our eng. party (beginning of feb.)

But, after fighting again for like the tenth day in the row, I'm like 'Are we having fun yet'? FI thinks it's because of his schedule and now that it is changing, it'll be better.

Would it be so wrong for us to NOT do wedding stuff till we are 'ONE YEAR TO GO?' We'll never get these first few months back, and I am already falling into the trap... photo, flowers, obsession?

What about you all?

Re: Are you having fun yet?

I am actually having fun...but I haven't done much yet. When I try to involve FH, he throws his hands up and says it's all up to me - so I don't fight it, I just talk to him about the things I know he would care about.

I'm hoping to go to some florists within the next two weeks with my mom - and I'm really looking forward to that. I think it will all set in at that time.

Only thing that stresses me is having the $$$ for deposits. To make sure I'm OK on that end, I've just decided to take a vendor a month. That way I can figure out the money, and not overwhelm myself with too many decisions at once. I refuse to stress over details at this point. I've got enough time to make anything happen.

Just remember - it is a big day, but in essence, it's just a big party! Have fun with it - otherwise, why bother?

Re: Are you having fun yet?

Im' having lots of fun. I am taking it one step at a time because i have time. I dont drag FH to me everywhere I just tellhim things that I want him to know.

Re: Are you having fun yet?

Yeah, I'm not as much into the actual planning process yet. I got really into picking the site...and now I just want to wait.

Hmmm...or maybe not!

Someone gave me a good piece of advice. They said to make sure you have non-wedding related dates with your FH so that you aren't always dealing with it.

I'm trying to do that. Since we talk on the phone constantly, I try to limit myself. Mostly, I like to bounce ideas off of him but he has this annoying habit of not listening to me!!!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

Im having fun... but i think once it gets closer things will seem more real.

Im aking things slow and FH loves the wedding stuff too so it is great

Re: Are you having fun yet?

To be honest, being engaged kinda sucks for me. Everyone has all these expectations and demands. I'm more or less indifferent to wedding planning, I just want the ceremony, I don't care about the rest (which freaks out nearly every woman I come in contact with). I just want to cut the BS already and start my life with FH.


Also, since we got engaged 'the wedding' is all ANYONE ever wants to talk to me about. Its really annoying because everyone assumes that's all I have on my mind. It drives me mad.

Re: Are you having fun yet?

awww Liz...don't let your engagement suck. relish this time. i kind of know what you are going through w/your mom and moving into Spiro's apt and blah blah blah cakes, but don't let otheres demands get to you. hang in there and when times get tought, just beat Spiro about the head and shoulders with a bag of doorknobs.

Re: Are you having fun yet?

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Posted by smm2675

awww Liz...don't let your engagement suck. relish this time. i kind of know what you are going through w/your mom and moving into Spiro's apt and blah blah blah cakes, but don't let otheres demands get to you. hang in there and when times get tought, just beat Spiro about the head and shoulders with a bag of doorknobs.

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Pillowcase of doorknobs! but thank you!!!!

It's all that and even beyond... I think it just irks me that people assume I eat, sleep and breathe wedding crap. I mean, I care, but I also have a life outside of wedding stuff!

I'm happiest with being engaged when its just FH and me!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

Yea, I dont dream,eat, sleep wedding stuff. Im happy being engaged and really enjoying it and even as it is coming close to a YEAR being engaged, everyone will still ask to see the ring and ask details and congratulate me. Im enjoying that and will maybe wait for that year mark to do any further. I dont like not having the $$ to put down on for the vendors that do need it. I need to be set and if it means waiting till April or further, I will. Having fun?? Yes, absolutely and its enough to make the wedding planning less stressful.

Re: Are you having fun yet?

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

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Posted by smm2675

awww Liz...don't let your engagement suck. relish this time. i kind of know what you are going through w/your mom and moving into Spiro's apt and blah blah blah cakes, but don't let otheres demands get to you. hang in there and when times get tought, just beat Spiro about the head and shoulders with a bag of doorknobs.

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Pillowcase of doorknobs! but thank you!!!!

It's all that and even beyond... I think it just irks me that people assume I eat, sleep and breathe wedding crap. I mean, I care, but I also have a life outside of wedding stuff!

I'm happiest with being engaged when its just FH and me!

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sorry, a pillowcase full of doorknobs, i'm still learning the monkey speak.

i know what you mean, whenever we go to a family function on either side, all anyone ever talks to us about is the wedding.

just enjoy the time and don't let them bug ya!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

Yeah, i fee;l the same way, and sometimes this site just adds to it because there are a lot of brides whoa re like HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY oh YAY we're gettng married and they seem to rejoice in picking out table linesn and going to appointments with DJ's. I don't feel this strange elation that I'm 'supposed' to feel. I'm happy to be engaged, and I'm happy to be getting married, but there's a lot of stress involved as well. I was long distance with my FH for 4 years in college and it was really difficult, now he's home and I feel like we're just making up for lost time. i haven't quite spetn enogh hours lounging and cuddling on the couch with him. I mainly see him on weekends because he works crazy hours and between all of the other things we ahve to do (like, for example, een though we've been working on it for months, his apartment is still full of boxes and not quite where we want it to be yet), the wedding stuff is just too much. I don't want to give up weekends to do wedding stuff. but I'd advise you not to wait, instead that one vendor a moth is a good suggestion, you won't feel like you're ALWAYS doing wedding stuff. We booked our hall about a month ago, so now I'm ready to do something else. Anyways, we're here for you, and engagement, like marriage is NOT all happiness and rainbows. It just isn't. Anyone who says it is is 1) lying 2) on drugs 3) still in the 'infatuation' phase.

Re: Are you having fun yet?

since we booked our hall, limos and phot/vidoeo and church in august ( very productive month) we have not done squat. we are focusing on saving $$ and just want to stop the planning process for a bit. i have a wedding in the family coming up in aug, so once that is done. we are going to finish up everthing else. i don't live for wedding planning and i don't hate it either. I'll do what needs to be done without turning it into a whole big production where the planet needs to stop its rotation.

Re: Are you having fun yet?

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Posted by marymoon

Yeah, i fee;l the same way, and sometimes this site just adds to it because there are a lot of brides whoa re like HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY oh YAY we're gettng married and they seem to rejoice in picking out table linesn and going to appointments with DJ's. I don't feel this strange elation that I'm 'supposed' to feel. I'm happy to be engaged, and I'm happy to be getting married, but there's a lot of stress involved as well. I was long distance with my FH for 4 years in college and it was really difficult, now he's home and I feel like we're just making up for lost time. i haven't quite spetn enogh hours lounging and cuddling on the couch with him. I mainly see him on weekends because he works crazy hours and between all of the other things we ahve to do (like, for example, een though we've been working on it for months, his apartment is still full of boxes and not quite where we want it to be yet), the wedding stuff is just too much. I don't want to give up weekends to do wedding stuff. but I'd advise you not to wait, instead that one vendor a moth is a good suggestion, you won't feel like you're ALWAYS doing wedding stuff. We booked our hall about a month ago, so now I'm ready to do something else. Anyways, we're here for you, and engagement, like marriage is NOT all happiness and rainbows. It just isn't. Anyone who says it is is 1) lying 2) on drugs 3) still in the 'infatuation' phase.

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I never said I was 'waiting' to do anything. We've booked the hall and church (the most important thing). We haven't had time to do other vendors yet. And I don't feel like I'm doing wedding stuff all the time either. It's just that 'wedding stuff' is the only topic anyone can think of when conversing with me and that doesn't exactly turn my crank.

What makes me almost unhappy with being engaged is that no one gave me a chance to be happy before insanity ensued.



and Smm.... WORD!! That's how I feel!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

We got engaged on Dec 10, and didn't start doiong anything until after christmas. Right now we are working on booking a place, which I actually hope to get done this weekend, so then we will have a definite date and place. After that I will take it easy for awhile. I have a friend who got engaged the week before me, and she is planning her wedding for 6 months earlier, so I will probably get sucked into looking at things with her.
FI is into stuff. He wanted to go with me to look for a dress!! I told him he couldn't do that!!!!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

we've booked our reception and ceremony site, and DJ.

I plan on booking the officiant soon too. But that's it until one year before. There's no reason to do anything else (except maybe the photographer) before one year. IMO

I'm enjoying being engaged, and FH just opened his own business so we have a lot of other stuff going on. I am definitely more looking forward to buying a house than spending more than 25K on one day. I love my FH and I want a nice wedding, but there are so many other things to stress about.

I'm having fun now that the major things are almost done. I'll have more fun when we're married though!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

Well Im having fun but stressing out over Now that he is the only one working because Im still in school Im freaking out about having to make all these deposits but I talked to alot of girls who waited until the one year mark and even later so Im feeling alittle better. You made a great pick with Floral Terrace so far though. FH cousin had his wedding there and I loved it. I thought it was wonderful. The food, the deserts, just everything. Good Luck!!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

I'm having fun not really stressing...I had a philosophy when we first got engaged...I wanted to get whatever i could get done, done this way I could relax...

The one thing I am not 100% sure & is constantly a bickering between FH & I is whether to have a band or DJ...I want the DJ & he wants the band..It all comes down to $$

Plus we are eagerly searching for a home...That is going to be the most stress for me...I find wedding planning fun!

Re: Are you having fun yet?

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Posted by MonkeyLuv



I never said I was 'waiting' to do anything. We've booked the hall and church (the most important thing). We haven't had time to do other vendors yet. And I don't feel like I'm doing wedding stuff all the time either. It's just that 'wedding stuff' is the only topic anyone can think of when conversing with me and that doesn't exactly turn my crank.

What makes me almost unhappy with being engaged is that no one gave me a chance to be happy before insanity ensued.

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My response was directed at Lisa, not at you, and I in no way intended to criticize anyone's approach to wedding planning. I feel the same way you do actually. I'm sick of EVERY conversation having to be about the wedding when 90% of the time I'm not thinking about it and 99% of the time I don't want to discuss it!
ETA: Also, i meant that if you save a lot of stuff for the last year or last 6 months then you really WILL be doing wedding stuff all the time, so it might better to just spread it out and do one thing at a time