Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I think you should stick to your guns. This is your day and it is an adult event that is very expensive. The youngest kids we are having are 11 years old and they are my FH's niece and nephew. Two of his brothers have young children and they are not invited, but they don't want to bring their kids this is a night away from the kids. If people don't like it that is their problem and they should find a sitter and the fact that you are getting one for them is very thoughtful!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I always knew that I did not want kids at my wedding. I just feel that it is a formal event and I didn't want children running around. I only had my 2 nieces (3 and 7) who were flower girls. Other than that it was cut off at 1st cousins 16 and up.

For the most part - parents were happy to have a day to themselves. I did have a huge fight about it with one of my relatives - I explained I can not make exceptions and even offered to pay for their sitter. In the end, they respected my wishes and had a great time (and no, they did not let me pay for their sitter.)

The most important thing to remember: THIS IS YOUR DAY and you have to do what you want. If having kids there makes you happy - invite them....if not then the answer is no and don't make exceptions (that's not fair).

Good luck!

Message edited 1/30/2005 1:49:51 PM.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Stick to your guns-it is your wedding and you should do what you want!! The only kids we are having are those in the Bridal Party and that is it!!! (actually it is a lot in the BP-there are 6 ranging from 4-13)

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

All i am having is my first cousins because my aunt and uncle are comming from virgina and has no family left anywere to leave them but its okay so its them 2 and my other 2 cuz but there like from 7-9 and know right from wrong . they were at my engagment party and they are well behaved so its fine. but no other chrildren will be invited.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Who you invite to your function is your choice and noone else's business or concern. I witnessed first hand an all out brawl between cousins at a family function years back when a guest list was in question. "Why wasnt so-in-so's kid invited....blah blah blah." It was UGLY. Personally, I would have asked this relative to leave. Would you believe this same person who started this argument actually had the cajones to show up the next day for the sunday brunch for the family? Anything for a free meal.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I'm not having children, period. My sister in law is upset, but, ironically, she didn't have children at HER wedding. She wants everyone to "ooh" and "aah" over how cute her kids are. That's all well and good, but it's MY wedding and it's not about her kids. Plus, if I have them, I have to have everyone's kids. And that's just not happening.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

First of all I had to deal with this same issue myself, especially since I have a four year old. My FH and I decided very early on that there would be no children except for the bridal party members, then out of the kindness of their hearts after they found out that we were not going to get discounts for children opted to leave their children at home. My FH specifically didn't want kids b/c his sister has 5 children with the youngest 2 and 3 and they are both contant criers. But even she understood...my mother is a different issue since one of my cousins has a daughter my daughter's age and she isn't invited, my mother can't seem to wrap her brain around the fact that if you invite one you must invite all, and like you said I know that FH and I don't want a daycare for our reception!!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I have to say its very nice to see people thinking with reason. I love children and plan to have a few of my own. But as a teacher, there are times in my life where I just don't want to hear them. These times are: Saturdays, Sundays, school holidays, and any weekday after 3. Its an entirely different issue when the children are your own. Dealing with other people's children? You have to be EXTREMELY careful.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Message edited 3/4/2005 2:27:23 AM.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

At the time I was married I had 6 nieces and nephews and none of them were in my wedding or attended the reception. They only attended the Church. My DH had young cousins that were not invited. We had a cutoff of 18. If people complained I didn't hear it and if people were offended than they just didn't come. No skin off my back.


It is you and your FH's day...don't let others guilt trip you into doing something you don't want. My nieces didn't care that they didn't go to the reception, they loved watching the video and were happy they had a sleepover with friends. Good Luck I know alot of people put pressure on you but remember that is there issue...not yours!!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I come from a family full of kids and have 5 myself so I (JMO)would feel uncomfortable not having all the little rugrats around but I dont mind being invited to weddings that dont invite children, it's never made me not want to go!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I dont think u are being mean...me personally i am only inviting my neices and nephews, FH's cousins, and a few of my cousins kids or friends kids (just the ones im close with) shouldnt be more than 15 kids. i have no idea if their parents are gonna bring them, but honestly i love kids and i think i will have a blast. im not comfy being the center of attention and i would love for them to have it on them lol plus i love dancing with little kids...cause its silly and im so uncomfortable dancing with everyone watching. To me its an all around plus to have kids at my wedding. I honestly was smiling when I read the part about kids in their pjs lol too cute!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

We're having no kids at all, not even in the bridal party.

IMO, weddings are formal affairs and not a place for children to run around and play. I remember plenty of times growing up and staying home while my parents went to a wedding. The first wedding I actually attended was when my first friend got married 2 years after we all graduated from college.

I'm really surprised that parents even want to bring their kids. Most parents I know like to have a night out for adult time, and a wedding is a perfect "excuse" for that.

Message edited 1/30/2005 6:58:59 PM.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I just wanted to thank everyone again for all their advice and responses. I am glad to hear that everyone has their own opionion, but doesn't think I am being totally rude.

I personally LOVE kids. I have 22 darlings for eight hours a day, five days a week! (I teach first grade). I just knew, being that we have limited space at our hall and that I have many children in my family, that whatever decision we made had to be a cut and dry decision. Although I feel bad for some traveling out of town (if they come), inviting their children would just open another door with having me invite another 10-15 local cousins' children. We just figured that only bridal party kids was the way to go!
And to answer a question posted, I did want children I am close to at the wedding, which is why they are in the bridal party and invited. All are godchildren or first cousins.

Thanks again!!! Happy Planning!