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Bounced Gift Check Thank you???
patti08 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 12:29 PM+
patti08 MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1120 WEDDING DATE: Dec 04, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 12:29 PM bride-minus.png

Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

One of the checks we received as a gift bounced. The guest who gave it to us never said a thing and we just didn't feel right saying anything and wanted to just let it go unless they brought it up. It's been almost 2 months.

My question what do I write in the thank you?

I'm guessing that....

'We are so glad that you cold join us to celebrate the beginning our life together. We hope you had as much fun as we did. Thank you for the $10.00 bank charge.
Love,
Bob & Patti'

...won't really be appropriate. Should I just thank them for coming?
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lilmrs Posted: Feb 01, 2005 12:33 PM+
lilmrs MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 12030 WEDDING DATE: May 17, 2003
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 12:33 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

to the bounced check
to your ty wording!

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suven Posted: Feb 01, 2005 12:35 PM+
suven MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5958 WEDDING DATE: May 30, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 12:35 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

why not write a nice thank you? And, include the actual check!!!
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shamrock12472 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 01:51 PM+
shamrock12472 MEMBER SINCE: 5/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1277 WEDDING DATE: Sep 17, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 01:51 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

That is so wrong! Plus, they know they bounced it because their bank would have charged them a fee for a bounced check as well. If you got the check back, I would go to their bank and see if you can cash it. That way, you will know whether or not it will bounce without a charge!

That is so wrong!
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JennandTom Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:02 PM+
JennandTom MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 405 WEDDING DATE: Oct 10, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:02 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

I had the exact same thing happen to me.
I never did anything about it either.

I just am writing thank your for the gift and for being there for us on our special day.

I didn't want to make a big deal out of it but it definitely was wrong of them.
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SeptWed Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:04 PM+
SeptWed MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1291 WEDDING DATE: Sep 17, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:04 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

funny wording

we had it too...we did not send a TY to the person and they apologized for it happeneing two months after the wedding. Of course our bank charged us $15 for it too.
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TwoBugs Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:06 PM+
TwoBugs MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2394 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:06 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

I would just send a regular thank you, as if the check didn't bounce.

There is a possibility that they didn't expect that to happen and are completely mortified.
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sophie78 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:18 PM+
sophie78 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3426 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:18 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???


Posted by TwoBugs

I would just send a regular thank you, as if the check didn't bounce.

There is a possibility that they didn't expect that to happen and are completely mortified.



me too
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JennandTom Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:25 PM+
JennandTom MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 405 WEDDING DATE: Oct 10, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:25 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

I felt the same way. I don't believe it was done on purpose at all. That is why I just sent a thank you.
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KarenB Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:45 PM+
KarenB MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 681 WEDDING DATE: May 15, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 02:45 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

If you are close to the person, I would mention it. Some people don't pay attention to their statements or balance their check books and may not realize the check bounced.
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Blu-ize Posted: Feb 01, 2005 03:51 PM+
Blu-ize MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 8304 WEDDING DATE: Feb 28, 1998
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 03:51 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

I would try to deposit it again. Sometimes people don't realize how much is in their account until they overdraw it.
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newbie Posted: Feb 01, 2005 03:56 PM+
newbie MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 268 WEDDING DATE: Dec 18, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 03:56 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

We received a check that was such a mess, my bank wouldn't even accept it. I don't plan on thanking them for the gift on the TY. Luckily, we didn't incur a bank charge.

We'll thank them for coming and celebrating our day. I'm not going to thank them for a gift I did not receive.
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oakslady Posted: Feb 01, 2005 04:04 PM+
oakslady MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2432 WEDDING DATE: Oct 30, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 04:04 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

i agree if it is someone you are close to i would mention it - and the related charge
if it isnt then just thank them for comming and include the origional bounced check in the card just for their records.
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sophie78 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 04:47 PM+
sophie78 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3426 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 04:47 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

Can someone explain to me why a person would feel the need to NOT thank someone who clearly attempted to give a gift? I have a hard time believing that the giver purposely screwed up the check so that the bride was unable to cash it. So if it was by accident, why would you not thank them???? This makes no sense to me.
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suven Posted: Feb 01, 2005 04:57 PM+
suven MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5958 WEDDING DATE: May 30, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 04:57 PM bride-minus.png

.

.
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sophie78 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:01 PM+
sophie78 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3426 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:01 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???


Posted by suven


Posted by am470

Can someone explain to me why a person would feel the need to NOT thank someone who clearly attempted to give a gift? I have a hard time believing that the giver purposely screwed up the check so that the bride was unable to cash it. So if it was by accident, why would you not thank them???? This makes no sense to me.



To me, the issue is not that the check bounced, but that after the gift giver clearly found out that it bounced, they made NO effort to make it right. I'm not even saying to give a new gift, but at least give the bride back the money she was charged on the bounced check fee.

My MIL actually bounced a gift check at a wedding. And, as soon as she found out, she brought the cash, plus an extra $50 to the bride and groom to make up for it. She did it so fast that the bride and groom hadn't even found out yet about the check.



Isn't a more likely explanation that the giver did not realize that was the check that bounced or not cashed???? Do you really think that the majority of guests would avoid giving the gift again??? Personally, I do not balance my checkbook or mark down the numbers of the checks that I write. If I bounced a check, the bank would inform me, and I would have no idea what check it was. I just think that you are assuming the worse in people and ignoring the more likely (and more harmless) explanation.
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patti08 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:02 PM+
patti08 MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1120 WEDDING DATE: Dec 04, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:02 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

They aren't a close relative, someone I see a few times a year - more often lately. I basically do not want to make them feel uncomfortable and we aren't mad at them. I think I'll try to word it so it sounds like I could be thanking for the gift or for coming but neither specifically.

Not sure if it's just my bank but we didn't get the check back.

Thansk for all the input.
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suven Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:21 PM+
suven MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5958 WEDDING DATE: May 30, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:21 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???


Posted by am470



Isn't a more likely explanation that the giver did not realize that was the check that bounced or not cashed???? Do you really think that the majority of guests would avoid giving the gift again??? Personally, I do not balance my checkbook or mark down the numbers of the checks that I write. If I bounced a check, the bank would inform me, and I would have no idea what check it was. I just think that you are assuming the worse in people and ignoring the more likely (and more harmless) explanation.



Well, I could be assuming the worst, I'll admit that. I don't think it's likely that a person would bounce a check, but not know which check bounced. Isn't that dangerous? What if the check for the mortgage were to bounce? I think that people should be responsible enough to find out which check bounced and make it right with the person. Even putting aside the 'moral' factor, a check is a legal promise to pay. A person can be sued for writing a bad check. JMHO
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sophie78 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:28 PM+
sophie78 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3426 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:28 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???


Posted by suven




Well, I could be assuming the worst, I'll admit that. I don't think it's likely that a person would bounce a check, but not know which check bounced. Isn't that dangerous? What if the check for the mortgage were to bounce? I think that people should be responsible enough to find out which check bounced and make it right with the person. Even putting aside the 'moral' factor, a check is a legal promise to pay. A person can be sued for writing a bad check. JMHO


I guess I problem with this whole discussion is the judgmental attitude. People make mistakes (some more than others), but s-h-i-t happens. And sometimes guests screw up checks and don't realize it.

I could go on and on....but I won't. I would be surprised to see that you could be arrested for giving a wedding check that bounces. Highly unlikely.
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june262004 Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:38 PM+
june262004 MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 12011 WEDDING DATE: Jun 26, 2004
Posted: Feb 01, 2005 05:38 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

I would just say thank you for sharing in our special day. Id rather get nothing then a bounced check.
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