Why do people invite themselves???

And why does FH have no backbone when it comes to this???

He gets a phone call this weekend from a 'friend.' Let's call her Jane. They used to go to the same church and were friendly, but not really that close.

Anyway, we sent out the first batch of STDs last week, and lots of his friends in the same circle received theirs on Friday. One of FH's friends called him to invite him to dinner that night (Jane was also going) and to tell him that he got our STD. We can't make it to dinner, so we decline. Lo and behold, Jane calls on Saturday to ask how the wedding planning is coming along and how she can't wait for our wedding in July!

Of course, FH is too nice to tell her that she wasn't on our guest list, so now we have to invite her!

I met this girl once at a birthday party and I'm not even sure if she knows my name. Grr...this makes me so grumpy, since FH knows that I wanted to have as intimate of a wedding as possible.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

Well...I wouldn't exactly blame your FH on this one. This chick was very rude to assume she was invited...(don't people think?? she didn't get an STD and the other friend DID!)

Also, if you rarely see this girl, if your FH never exactly told her that Yes, she was invited, DON'T SEND her an invite. Simple as that.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

lol, I know it's not funny but sometimes you just have to laugh. FH called me this morning and told me he ran into one of our friends brothers and says, 'Do we have him on the list? We should invite him, I like him'

I think FH has hung out with him maybe 2 times. I was like whatever, when it comes down to mailing the invites he'll forget anyway.

But back to 'Jane,' your wedding isn't until July. Hopefully he'll forget that he wanted to invite her by then.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Posted by thefourth

Of course, FH is too nice to tell her that she wasn't on our guest list, so now we have to invite her!

---

Wait.... so did he tell her she was invited or did he not respond to her comment? Either way, I wouldnt invite her. I am in a similar situation and I just dont plan to send that person an invite. If worse comes to worse, put her on the 'B' list in case you fall short of your minimum.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

I'm just assuming, but, the liklihood of you or FH running into her from now until the wedding is probably not great, so I just wouldn't send her an invite. She'll probably forget about the wedding anyway.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

I have never assumed that I was ever going to be invited to a wedding or other event unless I was related by blood.

To ASSUME that you will be invited to an event is a social faux pas in my book. That is simply my opinion.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Wait.... so did he tell her she was invited or did he not respond to her comment? Either way, I wouldnt invite her. I am in a similar situation and I just dont plan to send that person an invite. If worse comes to worse, put her on the 'B' list in case you fall short of your minimum.

---

I can't believe I forgot to tell the worst part!! She straight out said to him, 'I'm invited, right?' Can you believe that??? Even if she were just joking, that's SO RUDE!

FH was like, yeah, of course.

Ugh. I hope she's not expecting to bring a date.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

FMIL has given us a list of people that FH doesn't even know!! We don't want strangers at our wedding.... why should you have them at your's! Like the other girls said, what's the chances of seeing her again? Slim to none hopefully. Just conveniently 'forget' to add her to the list

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

When I read only the subject line of this post, I was going to reply: so that hosts can guestimate how long it will take for their invites to hit other houses. But after reading your post, I'm glad I read before posting! Did you fiancee actually ANSWER Jane? I wouldn't say you are going to have to invite her. While it definitely sounds like she WANTS to be invited, there's no rule that says you have to. Be flattered that YOUR wedding is tops on her list of priorities!

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Posted by thefourth

I can't believe I forgot to tell the worst part!! She straight out said to him, 'I'm invited, right?' Can you believe that??? Even if she were just joking, that's SO RUDE!

---

Just for that, I definitely wouldn't invite her!

It's always the one that you wouldn't even think of inviting, that ask if they are going to be! My response was always 'we're having a small wedding' or 'our families are just to big, so we can't invite many friends.' DH wasn't as capable of telling a lie!

I was guilty though, of leading a lot of people to believe that they would be invited, when I first got engaged. I simply apologized later and told them the list had gotten too out of control.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

That is rude!!

But I have to say that I started inviting people on New Year's Eve when I was drunk...my FI was not pleased.

Invites to weddings is a touchy subject.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Posted by thefourth

I can't believe I forgot to tell the worst part!! She straight out said to him, 'I'm invited, right?' Can you believe that??? Even if she were just joking, that's SO RUDE!

FH was like, yeah, of course.

Ugh. I hope she's not expecting to bring a date.

---

Then I DEFINITELY wouldn't invite her. Then if you or FH ever happen to run into her just say you had to keep the wedding small... and then add 'I knew you would understand, right?!'

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Posted by thefourth

And why does FH have no backbone when it comes to this???

He gets a phone call this weekend from a 'friend.' Let's call her Jane. They used to go to the same church and were friendly, but not really that close.

Anyway, we sent out the first batch of STDs last week, and lots of his friends in the same circle received theirs on Friday. One of FH's friends called him to invite him to dinner that night (Jane was also going) and to tell him that he got our STD. We can't make it to dinner, so we decline. Lo and behold, Jane calls on Saturday to ask how the wedding planning is coming along and how she can't wait for our wedding in July!

Of course, FH is too nice to tell her that she wasn't on our guest list, so now we have to invite her!

I met this girl once at a birthday party and I'm not even sure if she knows my name. Grr...this makes me so grumpy, since FH knows that I wanted to have as intimate of a wedding as possible.

---

I had a neighbor's kid (some kid, in her 40's) do the same thing to me. I see her once in a blue moon when I'm at my Mom's and when she stops by her Mom's. We were never 'close' persay but since I was inviting her parents, she 'assumed' she was invited too. She kept going on and on to my mother about how she was looking forward to the wedding. Even expected her kids to be invited too! My mom pressured me into inviting them and wouldn't you know, her two kids DID not show up? She called 2 days before to say that they wouldn't be able to make it and at least she was doing me the curteosy of letting me know before the actual event!! Don't be bullied into inviting 'Jane'. You invite who you want, why she should care who knows??

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

That is tooooo funny. She does not even know your name but wants your to spend money to have dinner with her at your wedding. That's just plain rude. I would not invite her.

I had my SISTER'S friend ask for an invite to our wedding while FI & I were in Va for Christmas. I told her she was not invited and I guess she thought I was kidding. She then told FI to make sure she gets an invite and spelled her name for him. He had just met her about 90 seconds before I told her she was not invited. The nerve!!!!

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

OHG, it is amazing! I guess thats how some people are able to say that they have such active social life's I'm sorry, but she most certainly put your FH is such a bad spot. Sit her in the back table behind one of those potted plants, she'll learn her manners

Edited for complete misspelling!

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

its so funny you have this posted today FH called me at work to tell me that last night at the superbowl party by his friends house that got married last year, one of his cousins that mY FH hang out with one time for the bachelor party wants to come to our wedding not only that his parents too, I am like are they crazy what are people thinking to just invite themselves we are not rich

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Posted by thefourth

I can't believe I forgot to tell the worst part!! She straight out said to him, 'I'm invited, right?' Can you believe that??? Even if she were just joking, that's SO RUDE!

FH was like, yeah, of course.

Ugh. I hope she's not expecting to bring a date.

---

Bring a date? I wouldn't even invite her after that. It's really very rude to just invite yourself like that.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Posted by chachou22

its so funny you have this posted today FH called me at work to tell me that last night at the superbowl party by his friends house that got married last year, one of his cousins that mY FH hang out with one time for the bachelor party wants to come to our wedding not only that his parents too, I am like are they crazy what are people thinking to just invite themselves we are not rich

---

That is soooo funny. Not just one but 3 and maybe a date for the cousin. People are amazing.

Tell them yes they can come, and tell them there is a cover charge or $150 pp.

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

---

Posted by kdrainey

---

Posted by chachou22

its so funny you have this posted today FH called me at work to tell me that last night at the superbowl party by his friends house that got married last year, one of his cousins that mY FH hang out with one time for the bachelor party wants to come to our wedding not only that his parents too, I am like are they crazy what are people thinking to just invite themselves we are not rich

---

That is soooo funny. Not just one but 3 and maybe a date for the cousin. People are amazing.

Tell them yes they can come, and tell them there is a cover charge or $150 pp.

---

the funny part is they got married at vegas and I couldnt go it was the first week of august on a thursday and I am still in school so not only did my FH have to pay air fare and hotel plus give a gift now they want to just invite themselves to a wedding that they dont have to pay for

Re: Why do people invite themselves???

I can totally understand your pain. FH is very popular in my town (we are teachers, and he is everyone's favorite- I live in his shadow.. ha)
Anyway, the past couple of years he has become very close to many of his student's families, and since I looped with my students last year (had them for K and first) I am close with mine as well. Well, as soon as everyone knew we were engaged, they all thought they were going! LIke, the whole school! Especially since it is in NY (we live in FL) everyone says- OH, I can plan my vacation around your wedding! (like, did I say you were invited?) I had one of my student's parents, whose father is the Mayor, say to me 'We are invited, right?' I just changed the subject.
I guess it is because we live in a old small/country town that they think it is going to be a free-for all back yard BBQ- if they knew how much it was costing, maybe they wouldn't be so bold...

You never know people!