My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...updated

My friend just went for a checkup yesterday and is 16 weeks pregnant with her first baby, and they just found out the baby doesnt have a heartbeat anymore. She is devestated and I hurt so much for her. She has to have a d&c today. I don't know what to do to help her, do you girls have any ideas?

Message edited 3/4/2005 12:55:30 PM.

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...

Having just gone through through this in December, I know there is not much you can do or say, except be a shoulder for her to cry on. It helped just knowing my friends were there, even though they couldn't help. Unfortunately, this is an event she and her husband have to suffer alone.

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...

OMG! That gets me so worried! I'm 15 weeks today and I think I might rent a doppler to hear the baby's hearbeat whenever I want.

Sorry that this happened to your friend. I think just being there for her to lean on is all you can do. She's lucky to have a great friend like you.

Message edited 3/4/2005 12:11:56 PM.

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...

So sorry!! Just try to be there for her the best you can!!

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...

Thanks everyone, I know there isn't much I can do.

I just spoke with her again and for some reason the hospital cannot take her in for the D&C!!! They told her she might have to wait until Monday!!!! I cannot believe this! This is so emotionally and mentally damaging. She is sitting home cramping and feeling terrible because her body is starting to reject the baby...and they told her the only way they would take her in is if she started bleeding. I'm so sick to my stomach!

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...updated

My sister went thru this a few weeks ago, she went right to the ER!!! She also got the same thing to wait, tell her to go right to the ER where her doctor is affilated with. They did my sisters d and C at (9:30 at night, but she got it done asap instead of waiting. I am so sorry your friend is going thru this. Just be there to listen, and maybe bring her some meals to heat and eat at her home, so they do not have to worry about dinners for a few days.

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...updated

Kathy-
As someone who went trhough two losses, I can say the best things for me was people letting me talk. Some would like at me like I was crazy for the details I gave and how matter of fact I talk about it, but I HAD TO in order to move on. I wanted to talk about, and I had wished more people would just ask instead of trying to walk around it.

Im sending prayers for your friend...Time does make it better. It's very hard at first, but again, only time helps.

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...updated

I hope your friend is doing ok. I know this must be a very rough time for her & her husband. Like someone else said, a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen is the most you can offer right now.

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...updated

Thank you all for your advice
My friend had a D&C late Friday night and I spent hours talking with her Saturday. She is OK, she is glad the D&C is done so she can start to heal from this all.
Her doctor told her to wait 2 months to TTC again. So, they will try again in May and I'm sure they won't have a problem getting PG!

Re: My friend just found out her baby doesn't have a heartbeat...updated

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Posted by kelleherkm

Thank you all for your advice
My friend had a D&C late Friday night and I spent hours talking with her Saturday. She is OK, she is glad the D&C is done so she can start to heal from this all.
Her doctor told her to wait 2 months to TTC again. So, they will try again in May and I'm sure they won't have a problem getting PG!

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