Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

I live OOT and my sister appears to be having a difficult time trying to plan these parties. What is everyone else doing and when are you doing it? She's thinking about doing the shower the same weekend of the wedding. But if we do this the we don't know when we would do the bachelorette party. My sister is really concerned about asking the BM and my friends to come to NY for these two parties. My wedding is on a Sunday and right now FH and I have the church rhearsal on Thursday.

I don't know what to do? Gosh, I don't even know why I am even trying to help plan this but somehow I got pulled in. How much planning did ya'll do for your shower and bachelorette party. Maybe it's because I'm an OOT bride that this is so difficult.

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party

Hi another OOT bride here.....this is what is going on for me....this upcoming weekend I am traveling to NY with my DH to do some more wedding stuff and for my NY shower (with family and friends on LI)....about a month before the wedding my friends down here in VA are throwing me a shower/bachelorette party on the same day. Mom and BMs will travel to this one too. I don't know if that helped you at all!

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party

Thanks Jean. Your friends are so nice. FH asked his mom if she is going to throw us a shower (his family live in FL) and she was like huh? She said she was never married so she doesn't know about stuff like that. Anyways, she said that when we come down for his sister graduation in May she will do something then. Isn't this horrible that we have to ASK people if they are doing anything? I know we're not supposed to, but I feel as if we don't then nothing will get done. I don't know if my friends in Chicago will throw me a shower, it's probably the last thing on their minds. I like the idea about having the shower a month in advance.

Any more advice ladies?

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party

I planned my own BP because I knw what I wanted to do.

I picked the date and place for my shower because if I hadn't it would have been at the Olive Garden and I did NOT want that.

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party

You cannot have your shower the same weekend as the wedding, absolutely not. Are you going to be in NY at all between now and then?

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party

I can't have the shower the same weekend? Is it too much to do? I will be in NY from March 22-29, and again in APril. I told my sister that I can come to NY any weekend in June and May, she just has to let me know (well not May 21). But she's concerned about travel for some of my BM and my friends in Chicago.

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party

My girls had my Bridal shower and Bachelorette on the same day since some flew in. That way they could go to both, it was so much fun and worked out well. My FH took his mom, sister and my mother out to dinner while we went out that night, very cool of him to do and everyone was happy.

ETA: I had my shower really early due to several factors 1) two of my BMs live in TX so spacing it out made it easier on them 2) my MOH is preganant and due April 1 so she needed to have it early to be able to travel(she lives in FL.)

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party

Okay, the more I think of it. It probably won't be a bad idea for me to have it all the same weekend. My only concern is if I will be tired and not have anytime for last minute stuff.

Thursday night: Bachelorette Party
Friday morning: Massage
Friday: Rehearsal and Rehearsal BBQ
Saturday Morning: Basketball game with FH
Saturday afternoon: Bridal Shower
Sunday: Wedding

What do you ladies think? Will I be too exhausted? How many last minute things did everyone need to take care of?

HELP!!!

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

i dunno....i think that might be a bit much! you won't have time to sit back, relax and enjoy anything!

ets: can you come the weekend before and just stay the extra few days?

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

I can come early, but my sister is really concerned about asking the BM (most are graduate students or struggling to make $$) to come to NY twice. I have 6 BM and 4 live OOT. I'm pretty sure that one of them would come to NY regardless....

Just don't know what to dooooooooooooo

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

okay, then how would you feel about two parties? one in chicago and one in new york? actually 4 then lol

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

I would not have the shower the same weekend as the wedding. Not only will it be a pain in the neck for you, but also for your guests. If I were a graduate student It would be tough for me financially to buy you a nice gift for the shower, and then give you a wedding gift the very next day.

I would talk to your oot bridesmaids and see if they mind coming twice. Let them have some input. I know for my shower one of my OOT BM will not be able to attend.

Also think about having 2 separate showers.

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

I would love 2 parties. But, then again I don't know how would that work. I don't know if my friends here at school are going to throw me a shower, and I'm definetly NOT ASKING them. I guess that leaves my sister to organize both.

But I don't know if that solves my problem. My four BM that live OOT are in Texas, California, Oklahoma, and Florida. So if they come to chicago they might as well come to NY. Having a bachelorette party and shower in Chicago is cool, but then my friends in NY won't be able to attend (or it's them spending $$). Actually, I only have about 5 friends in NY that I am inviting to the wedding so I guess it's not too big of a deal. A chicago bachelorette party might be a better option. My BM probably won't attend. Hmmn, I need to talk to my sister about the idea of having 2 BM party.

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

ANother idea...a friend of mine who lived OOT and had a lot of people coming in for the wedding, did a spa/shower on the day before...it was just a relaxing get together to celebrate her and chill before the wedding...thought it was nice idea (although I couldn't make it since we had already booked our flight to come in a bit later!)

Re: Bridal Showers and Bacholerette Party ( Newlyweds and Future Brides please help. see bottom)

i have an OOT friend and know all her bridesmaids- the shower was planned by family and none of them can make it- even the MOH - it is hard to travel a lot - but all of them can make one weekend in vegas -because it was cheaper to fly there

being OOT of town i think you have to understand that not everyone can make it to everything - just be happy for who can attend I am OOT too - this my opinion

i would have the shower with friends and family over a weekend that you can get back to NY- too many things that weekend

i would still have the bachlorette party when you are having it to have everyone their