dog situation: LONG: 4/27 UPDATE AT BOTTOM

I have posted here about wanting to get a dog. I really want a pug!!! Anyway here is the situation. I love dogs!!! My Dh really does not like dogs, he is uncomfortable around them and really doesn't want me to get one. He said that if I really wanted one(which I do) I could, but I would be responsible for it...he would never walk or feed or play with it. I am a pet person and have always had a pet (this would be my first dog) I really want to get one for me...am I selfish??? I have no problem doing everything for the dog...but I do not want to alienate my husband. There is kind of more to the situation...but these are the basics. Would you get a dog??? Any advice is welcome!!!



Thanks for all your support. I actually got a male Maltese today, Riley. He will be coming home on Friday. DH is ok with the situation. We'll see after Friday. I will post pics later.

Re: dog situation: LONG

Wow, thats tough! I have always loved animals and knew I'd want them when I moved out of my parents house. So I worked on FH for a LONG time about cats, and when we moved in together, we adopted two. He was totally not an animal person, but he grew to adore them.

The 'you are the only one to be responsible for the dog' bothers me. I don't see how you can live with animals and not interact with them at all. What will he do when the dog jumps in his lap for a snuggle? If you are running late from work and the dog needs to be walked, will he ignore the dog and let him pee/poop on the floor? If he comes home first and there is no water in the bowl, will your husband let him go thirsty? This dog will need to respect and obey both of you, and I don't see that happening if your husband is not involved with his care and training.

Re: dog situation: LONG

that's really tough - a dog is a LOT of work, especially if you are getting a puppy. With puppies, it can be extremely stressful at times, specifically when they don't sleep through the night and are not house broken yet! Not to mention the CONSTANT supervision they need when you are with them. There are also a lot of financial issues - price of the dog, vet bills, training, food, supplies, etc. - too, would your DH be okay with these expenses in addition to everything else? Unless your DH is the kind of guy wou might change his mind once he sees the cute little dog you got, I wouldn't get the dog, but that's JMO. I just think it would be complicated with only one of you caring about the dog and taking care of it. If your DH is not a dog person and is just refusing to have anything to do with the dog, it might make things difficult. Pets quickly become little members of your family too, so this is a decision that you shuold make together, I think.

Re: dog situation: LONG

Money is not an issue as far as the dog...he would not mind me spending money on the dog. As I kind of look at it is, if I was a sinlge perosn with a dog, I would have all of the responsibility anyway, so I don't mind the idea of doing it all myself. As far as work and stuff...I am a teacher...I leave after my husband everyday and am home by 4 everyday. My hubby isn't home til 7. The dog would mostly be a companion for me...I am home a lot and need some company. I am hoping that if I do get the dog, my Dh will get used to it and not be so unwilling to participate. He never had a pet and doesn't understand the expectations. I know its complicated...we have been trying to compromise about this...there just isn't a compromise...its either get or dog or dont.

Re: dog situation: LONG

I think once you get a dog your DH will fall in love w/ it too. You just can't help it. I have never seen DH so mushy once we got Chewie. I say go for it. It's not too hard to take care of a dog after the 1st few months.

Re: dog situation: LONG

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Posted by Valentinegirl

I think once you get a dog your DH will fall in love w/ it too. You just can't help it. I have never seen DH so mushy once we got Chewie. I say go for it. It's not too hard to take care of a dog after the 1st few months.

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My thoughts exactly. I dont think he will feel uncomfortable once he 'knows' the dog. And he will grow to love it. And if he is totally fine with you getting one and you want one, go for it.

Re: dog situation: LONG

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Posted by Valentinegirl

I think once you get a dog your DH will fall in love w/ it too. You just can't help it. I have never seen DH so mushy once we got Chewie. I say go for it. It's not too hard to take care of a dog after the 1st few months.

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I agree with this...especially a Pug, they are very affectionate and expressive. They have magnetic personalities.

Good Luck

Re: dog situation: LONG

I would get the dog. If your husband said you could then i would do it. Why do we always do what the husband wants - sometimes we have to compromise. You get the dog and the compromise is that you take care of it.

Maybe it sounds mean but i am a pet lover and i know what it is like to want a dog. I am sure he will grow to love it.

Re: dog situation: LONG

totally get a dog... he would fall in love it!!

Re: dog situation: LONG

ok. i voted YES. but i am a HUGE dog lover.
he will either TOTALLY fall in love with it!!!! or resent it.
chances are he'd end up falling in love with it, if he says you can get one he must not HATEthem ya know. id get one. but its hard.
dont get one though unless you are POSITIVE it will have a forever home with you.

Re: dog situation: LONG

Why do we always do what the husband wants - sometimes we have to compromise. You get the dog and the compromise is that you take care of it.


LittleCat...thank you so much for your very thoughtful defense. I showed the post to my Dh and he was kind of taken back by the way you looked at the situation. He had been saying that he wanted to compromise, but couldn't think of how. I agree him letting me get the dog is his compromise and mine is taking care of it all on my own. I will keep you girls informed. The kennel by me is getting in 3 pugs this week. I am going to go and look at them on Wednesday...and hopefully we will work something out.
I hope all goes well...having a dog has been one of my life's dreams!!!!

Re: dog situation: LONG

I was in almost the same situation. My FI had a dog when he was younger and his mom is deathly afraid of cats. When he moved into my house he was freaked out b/c we had 4 cats. He didn't want anything to do with them. Now he's gotten used to them and when we moved out he even suggested getting a cat of our own. If you think it's just the fact that he has never had a pet and doesn't know what it's like, then I would go for it. If there are other reasons then I would seriously give it some thought.

Re: dog situation: LONG

Most people benefit from the company of an animal, so I would say get the dog and your DH will probably not only get used to it but also bond with it. Its better to get him used to dogs sooner than later.

Re: dog situation: LONG

So long as he did not say, he is allergic to it.

I agree he will fall in love with it from a puppy. Animals changes people lives. It makes them happier. As for as getting the dog, you will be it's MOMMY . You can manage, it won't be too much for you to take care of the dog. Meaning you won't need any help. I do everything for my pup.

Re: dog situation: LONG

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Posted by Valentinegirl

I think once you get a dog your DH will fall in love w/ it too. You just can't help it. I have never seen DH so mushy once we got Chewie. I say go for it. It's not too hard to take care of a dog after the 1st few months.

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I agree 100 %

Re: dog situation: LONG

Let your DH go with you to the SHELTER to get an animal (or to the rescue center).

Let him go several times with you. Let him choose which animal you take home.

My DH felt the same way about cats. We found Madison at the ASPCA and DH decided she was 'OK'. She was not the cat I originally wanted, but I knew this was as stretch for him so we adopted her.

She is now his best friend. After her we adopted a kitten that my neighbor rescued a year later, DH said 'if we ever have an animal that pees we're getting rid of it'.

Well, Kitten peed on US in our bed. He peed on the bed when we weren't in it...This was once a week for over a month. I was so frustrated I said something I didn't mean (if he keeps it up he's going back). My husband's face fell...he said 'Don't ever say that, we'll do whatever it takes to figure it out and fix it - but he's our little guy and he isn't going anywhere.' (P.S. our vet and a behaviorist helped us figure it out, and we've fixed the problem).

So, if you let him decide what kind and which doggy to rescue, he'll have a greater likelihood of loving it.

Re: dog situation: LONG

I suggest that you both volunteer at or at least visit a local shelter a few times. See if your DH starts to feel more comfortable around dogs, then go from there.

Re: dog situation: LONG

switch the roles and you have DH and me. DH is dying for a dog, I really don't have a need for one. (esp after all these anal gland posts )

If DH wants one that bad, then I am going to go for it, he would do the same for me. I am hoping Valentinegirl is right and I will fall in love with it

Re: dog situation: LONG: 4/27 UPDATE AT BOTTOM

Another suggestion..... you could volunteer as a puppy walker! The association for the blind(sorry, forget the exact name), is always looking for people to house train their dogs, but it's a bit of work and you have to give the dog back Just an idea.