Do any of you feel like you have seperated from your parents a little bit?

I'm super close with mine. But I feel like I need to stop being so sensitive to their needs - for example, I am scared to tell my mom that we are spending next year's t-giving in OH b/c she acts like a little baby and says, 'you're leaving me!' meanwhile i see her at least 1x a week. It's so hard...trying to please my parents, trying to please FH....

Re: Do any of you feel like you have seperated from your parents a little bit?

I totally understand you!

I also feel like I have less patience for my parents since I moved in with FI. I talk to my mom many times a day and sometimes I just can't talk to her. I feel really bad when I yell at her, and then I have to call her and apologize.

It is still very weird that I am now a 'head of the household' and I'm now going to be on the same level as my mom. That's weird for me......that's my mom, I don't want to be the same as her!!!! I want to be her baby forever!!!

Re: Do any of you feel like you have seperated from your parents a little bit?

I can't tell you enough how I relate to this post. I feel a separation, and I know they do too. It's weird.

Re: Do any of you feel like you have seperated from your parents a little bit?

I just moved in with FH cause my parents moved upstate....I had no choice...it was either quit my job, quit school, and move upstate or move in with FH. The only thing is, I never really had time to get used to living with FH...it wasn't a gradual transition....not that it bad living with him, things are great,but now that I can't see my parents even if I want to, I miss them SO BAD! Funny how when I lived at home, I would sleep over FH's house, and I could go days without seeing them or calling them....but now that I KNOW they aren't around, I miss the convenience of having them nearby.

The thing is, I feel so grown up ALL OF A SUDDEN and some days I just want to be their 'KID' again.....so I can totally relate....

Re: Do any of you feel like you have seperated from your parents a little bit?

Yes. I have been going through this for a few years.

Thanks to a lot of therapy I have realized this is a HUGE part of 'growing up' and that it is normal. The hard part is getting through it, and really beginning to exert yourself as a fellow adult to them, not their kid. The real tragedy is when people spend their lives afraid of their parents, and end up looney middle aged people with HUGE issues. The more you act like a kid with them, the more they treat you like a baby.

It's rough, but I am just starting to come out of it, and it feels so good (my relationship with them has improved dramatically, and they completely respect and support my decisions.)

Good Luck!

Re: Do any of you feel like you have seperated from your parents a little bit?

These are amazing responses and i'm so glad this site gives us a venue to talk about this! I, too, am working out some of 'seperation/individuation' issues from my parents....SO freaking hard. I don't want to pull away, they sense that, hold on tighter, I get frustrated with that, cut the ties, then run back screaming, 'I love you mommy and daddy!' I am a 26 y/o baby.

What was hard about engagement for me is what happens if FH's opinion differs from my parents. I found myself taking my parent's side, just b/c I didn't agree with FH at first. Now that, my friend, THAT was tough. Maybe it gets easier when we're married? We'll be unified unit as opposed to teetering on engagement all this time? I dunno.