HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

his new girl friend who I have meet once to my food tasting!

why? I said she could come to the wedding - but not pariticpate in things my Mom would have done- this is a thing my Mom would have done

am I over reacting? I would rather my sister come- not this women who I don't really like

We burried my Mom a year ago yesterday!

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

I'm so sorry.... Have you tried talking to your Dad... I cannot even imagine what you're feeling. You're certainly NOT over reacting.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss Honestly, I would sit your Dad down and say that you would rather your sister come and that things are a little too raw for you to have his GF gallavanting around. I'm sure he isn't trying to replace your Mom but maybe thinks he is helping you by bringing in a woman's perspective. This has got to be so hard for you and I can only send you tons of hugs

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

I totally understand, you must be soo stressed, I'm sorry. Tell your father that you would prefer it just be immediate family at the tasting---that you are really stressed out, and you want to be able to be honest and comfortable, and you haven't had a chance to bond with his girlfriend yet, that the wedding is hard for you to plan without your Mom and that you hope he can understand.
If that doesn't work, have your sister be the buffer.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

Im so sorry, can you tell him theres a limit or you wanted it to be just your family.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

I personally wouldn't want her there either. It has probably been a tough year for your family and while I am happy to hear that your dad has found companionship (I think his daughter's wedding could be difficult without someone by his side) inviting her to the food tasting is unecessary. She is a girlfriend, not a fiance or new wife. He obviously hasn't been with her that long since your mom just passed away last year!

to you during your planning. I can't imagine what it would have been like to plan my wedding without my mom. If I could loan you my mom, I would.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

So sorry and NO you are not over reacting. Tell your dad how you feel, he should respect your wishes, Let us know what happens

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

Why don't you tell your dad how you feel. You can even say it in a nice way that you really want your sister to come, you planned on her coming.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

ok- so I told him- now he doesn't want to come- I can't believe him

he turned a nice day about my wedding about him and this woman!

it's hard to lose your Mom and then see your Dad in a different way!

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

Beth...so sorry to hear about this! It's just terrible that now he's not coming, and should be there to share.

I would react the same way.

Would you be okay with him coming and bringing his GF than having him not there at all?

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

I would want my sister there also.
I hope it works out!

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

Maybe he will calm down and understand your position? I hope so... I think you're being totally reasonable. They should both understand that you would rather share that day with he and your sister as opposed to he and a virtual stranger.

Can your sister talk to him?

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

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Posted by Beth1210

ok- so I told him- now he doesn't want to come- I can't believe him

he turned a nice day about my wedding about him and this woman!

it's hard to lose your Mom and then see your Dad in a different way!

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I'm so so sorry. I was sure he would understand.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

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Posted by 103005FallBride

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Posted by Beth1210

ok- so I told him- now he doesn't want to come- I can't believe him

he turned a nice day about my wedding about him and this woman!

it's hard to lose your Mom and then see your Dad in a different way!

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I'm so so sorry. I was sure he would understand.

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Oh hon, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what is going through his head and heart. I hope he calms down some and realizes what this is doing to you. I am so sorry

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

I think you have every right not to want your dad's GF there, but allow me to offer a little perspective from the other side. My mom has been with her boyfriend about 11 years now. His wife passed away a little less than a year before they started dating so naturally, it was extremely hard on his children to accept my mom into their life. They put my mother through a lot, and put me through even more. 11 years have passed and I am and probably will always be very resentful towards these people for how I was treated by them.

I think your dad might feel like you're rejecting his girlfriend and is trying to force you to accept her. I believe his GF needs a chance from you and your siblings - which I totally think you ARE DOING by allowing her to come to your wedding. Maybe you can sit down and have a talk with him and explain that you realize she is important to him, and are willing to include her/get to know her better, but he needs to let you do it at your own pace, and that you're still grieving your mother.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

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Posted by eroxgirl

Maybe you can sit down and have a talk with him and explain that you realize she is important to him, and are willing to include her/get to know her better, but he needs to let you do it at your own pace, and that you're still grieving your mother.

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Very well said!

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

IM SORRY you are going through this i know exactly how you feel. WHen my mom passed my father was dating in a matter of months!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a year later was engaged i was LIVID!!!!!! and there were alot of times i feel he chose this woman over me!!! hang in there! i know it is not easy!!!! , if you ever need to vent or talk.....cuz boy i have been there FM me!

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

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Posted by tjs

IM SORRY you are going through this i know exactly how you feel. WHen my mom passed my father was dating in a matter of months!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a year later was engaged i was LIVID!!!!!! and there were alot of times i feel he chose this woman over me!!! hang in there! i know it is not easy!!!! , if you ever need to vent or talk.....cuz boy i have been there FM me!

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my Dad has been dating her for about 7 months- which is 5 months after losing my Mom- I feel like he is just waiting till after my wedding to annouce his!

UPDATE- he kind of said sorry- and said he would come- he didn't see what the big deal was- hello it's the food for my wedding- to me it's a big deal-

thank you everyone for your support!

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

You are not overreacting. I lost my mom 2 years ago. I know what you are going through. If you ever need to talk, feel free to FM me.

Re: HELP! my Dad wants to bring....

I think you dad is just trying to bring you and his new girlfriend together. Its hard when a spouse dies, but I think your mom would want your dad to be happy. Try to be friendly with the girl, she might be really nice.