Would you change date for a friend?

you all know I've been on the fence about postponing my wedding. My best friend recently said 'it's good that you're postponing because I just realized your wedding would be in the middle of finals' (she's in law school). But now I'm thinking I really don't want to postpone, but she's right, my wedding will probably be smack in the middle of finals (for exampple, this year her finals are dec 12-22)...I don't want her to not be there. She has to be there. I don't want her to mess up her finals either. What can I do?

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

Well, I can tell you that during my last year of law school, the last wedding we went to was on November 14th. I actually was uncertain that I wanted to go because of preparing for finals. I know that some of my classmates were invited to a wedding on December 6th and they did not go because it was to close to finals.

Lisa

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

I don't think I can really change it. Maybe like with so much notice she can offset it?

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

I'm sorry..but it is your wedding...why can't she go and not dirnk..and study the next day???? I don't think you should change!

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

Having gone through law school finals I can tell you they are rough. However, if your wedding is not during her first year she can handle it. Although if she is your MOH it will be extremely difficult for her to do anything.

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

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Posted by SexyEsq

Having gone through law school finals I can tell you they are rough. However, if your wedding is not during her first year she can handle it. Although if she is your MOH it will be extremely difficult for her to do anything.

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it'll be her 3rd year at that point. My sis is my matron of honor and I was going to have my best friend as maid of honor, but maybe she can just not participate as much that close to the wedding. I'll still have my sister, so it's not like she'll have to feel like she's abandoning me. I'm not in law school, so I have no idea, but with notice, shoudnt she be able to prepare? Like she'll just know that she has to start studying early b/c that weekend will be the wedding and wedding events?

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by SexyEsq

Having gone through law school finals I can tell you they are rough. However, if your wedding is not during her first year she can handle it. Although if she is your MOH it will be extremely difficult for her to do anything.

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it'll be her 3rd year at that point. My sis is my matron of honor and I was going to have my best friend as maid of honor, but maybe she can just not participate as much that close to the wedding. I'll still have my sister, so it's not like she'll have to feel like she's abandoning me. I'm not in law school, so I have no idea, but with notice, shoudnt she be able to prepare? Like she'll just know that she has to start studying early b/c that weekend will be the wedding and wedding events?

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It depends. Studying for law school finals is unlike studying for anything else. It requires taking all of your notes from the entire semester and condensing them into outline form, then getting together with classmates and going over everything, more than once. Included in the outline for some are the pages in the text book where you can find additional information or relevant stuff. As you can imagine this takes an incredible amount of time. I noticed that your wedding is in the evening, but I don't know if it is Friday, Saturday or Sunday. That makes a difference. If your wedding is on a Sunday, she could have a final as early as 8 AM on Monday. Not really conducive to having a good time. Then again, depending on how much of a good time she has on a Friday or Saturday, she might completely lose the following day of studying. If wedding is on Friday, she may have a final that day and won't be able to do all the bridesmaid stuff with hair and makeup b/c of how long she will be at school. (unless she goes to Touro b/c everything ends by 3PM on Friday).

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

She goes to Cardozo, so it ends early on fridays, my wedding is a saturday. I'm not going to change it. I just don't think I can, but I wish I could make it easier for her. when i first booked it she did't say anything. I guess she didn't realize. I hope she can just deal, and I'll try to understand and work things around her schedule as much as I can... like if she can't come to the rehearsal or something, I'll understand. Maybe she'll get lucky and the finals will either be really late in the week, or really early and she won't have one monday morning for example. I'll just have to do my best, and hope that she can give me that one day. All of the planning will happen well before finals time, so she'll be with me for that

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

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Posted by marymoon

I hope she can just deal, and I'll try to understand and work things around her schedule as much as I can... like if she can't come to the rehearsal or something, I'll understand. Maybe she'll get lucky and the finals will either be really late in the week, or really early and she won't have one monday morning for example. I'll just have to do my best, and hope that she can give me that one day. All of the planning will happen well before finals time, so she'll be with me for that

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I think if you understand, she'll be able to deal. It is one day, (maybe two if she has too much to drink ). There are ways to work things out. It is not easy by any means, but if you are understanding if she has to say no to RD or something, I think it'll be okay.

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

Thans so much for the insight. I'm going to tell her I just can't change it. It makes me too happy to keep it when it is, and hopefully she will totally deal. I booked 10 months ago! Thanks for fortuitious finals schedule!

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

it's your wedding.. my wedding is the day before easter, so I am hearing it from a few family members ( not mine).. hey my wedding does not start until 6.. you have all day sat to prepare what you want to do sunday and it's not like my wedding is on Easter Sunday

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

I spoke with her, and you could tell she was disappointed or annoyed, because she can't move her finals...but she said she completely understands what it means to me to keep my date, and we'll just try to deal

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

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Posted by marymoon

I spoke with her, and you could tell she was disappointed or annoyed, because she can't move her finals...but she said she completely understands what it means to me to keep my date, and we'll just try to deal

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That is good news. Maybe she will be motivated even more to study earlier in the semester instead of only right before the test? I'm sure it will all work out for you both.

Re: Would you change date for a friend?

I think you did the right thing... I am sure she and you will be able to work out something.. and she will be able to be there..

I know if it was my best firend I be there no matter... I find way.. so I am sure it will all work out ok...