Brides Helping Brides ™ - Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

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Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

LisaJill Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:11 PM+

LisaJill MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 779 WEDDING DATE: Jul 30, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:11 PM

Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

FH and I have been engaged for two months. His mother never gave us any sort of engagement gift or even a card. (I am not mad cause I want gifts, I am mad cause she has not been thoughtful). He and his mother are very close. I think it is strange. His brother hasn't given us anything either and nor has his father (they are divorced). Again, I am not gift-hungry and superficial, but doesn't it say something?

In a nut shell, is it normal not to get any acknowledgment of our engagement from his mother, father and brother?

PrincessRose Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:13 PM+

PrincessRose MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4666 WEDDING DATE: Aug 29, 2004

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

Nah, I wouldn't be too upset over this particular thing. Trust me, there are going to be MUCH bigger things to be upset about.

Pmpkn087 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:13 PM+

Pmpkn087 MEMBER SINCE: 5/05 TOTAL POSTS : 876 WEDDING DATE: Nov 25, 2005

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

I don't think it is 'not normal.' I didn't get anything from FHs mom or siblings, but they sent a gift for my shower. I feel that engagement gifts are not necessary because of all the gifts you will get for the wedding

hocus Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:16 PM+

hocus MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 604 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2005

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:16 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

I only got 1 engagement gift and it wasn't from any of the people listed.

I would never think it was required to give something like that, so no I wouldn't be upset.

ML110 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:17 PM+

ML110 MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1431 WEDDING DATE: Jun 25, 2005

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

i agree- i wouldn't be too upset with this- neither of our parents gave us anything- they each just took us out to dinner to celebrate. i wouldn't worry too much about engagement gifts, you'll be getting enough for the wedding,
ALSO- are FILs giving you anything toward the wedding? maybe they are considering that their gift....

eroxgirl Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:17 PM+

eroxgirl MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6593 WEDDING DATE: Jun 19, 2004

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

We didn't get engagement gifts from our parents. His parents just didn't and neither did his sister. We didn't have an e-party (because my mother doesn't believe in them) so I guess that's why they didn't bother. I did get engagement gifts from other random people though.

TreAnt425 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:21 PM+

TreAnt425 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4433 WEDDING DATE: Apr 27, 2007

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:21 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

Our parents split the cost of our e-party. My parents got us an additional gift by Fh parents did not. It wasn't a big deal b/c I know that they put alot of money towards the party.

But at the party FH brother and his gf said that they 'forgot' our card at home. 5 months later - still have not received the card! I wouldn't have cared if they didn't get us anything but don't tell us that you forgot it and never give us anything.

FallBride05 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:22 PM+

FallBride05 MEMBER SINCE: 7/05 TOTAL POSTS : 3406 WEDDING DATE: Nov 13, 2005

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:22 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

We didn't get engagement gifts from my father, but then again, he's footing the bill for the wedding! His parents bought us all 12 place settings of our china however.

MayBride06 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:23 PM+

MayBride06 MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5555 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

Posted by Pmpkn087

I don't think it is 'not normal.' I didn't get anything from FHs mom or siblings, but they sent a gift for my shower. I feel that engagement gifts are not necessary because of all the gifts you will get for the wedding

I agree with her!!

wendyz06 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:23 PM+

wendyz06 MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 759 WEDDING DATE: May 19, 2007

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

No one in my family sent engagement gifts - we didnt have a party either. We are from another culture and its just not expected. His parents and aunts etc did send us checks.

suzybilly819 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:25 PM+

suzybilly819 MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1323 WEDDING DATE: Jul 15, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:25 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

Are you having a engagement party?

july06bride Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:27 PM+

july06bride MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 7792 WEDDING DATE: Jul 01, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:27 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

I did get presents from future inlaws, they bought me beautiful pearl and diamond earrings...and said it was for their new daughter.. as far as an actual 'engagement gift' for the two of us NO... his brother didnt get us anything, not for our housewarming party either, but he is younger and still in college mode, even though he has a good job and graduated, BUT its a different mind set so I didnt really expect anything...

maybe it's coming, dont worry too much!

heidla Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:29 PM+

heidla MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 5901 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2004

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:29 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

We didn't get any gifts for our engagement. I wasn't expecting too.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:32 PM+

JanuaryBride06 MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 13015 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 1995

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:32 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

tracy2246 Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:35 PM+

tracy2246 MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1598 WEDDING DATE: Nov 03, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:35 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

My FMIL gave us our wedding present right after we got engaged-which is odd...and then bought us something off the registry-however my mom and aunt helped us alot with our eparty and his mom did not offer at all...

nicothy Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:36 PM+

nicothy MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4146 WEDDING DATE: Sep 17, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:36 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

don't let it worry you, we didn;t either only when get had an engagement party we got money.

carlsbride Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:45 PM+

carlsbride MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1594 WEDDING DATE: Aug 18, 2003

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:45 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

Every family is different. My family (extended & immediate) does not give engagement gifts, but my FI's family does. As soon as we started getting gifts, I let him know, do not expect this from my family.

You say they haven't acknowledged it - you mean they have they not even told you congratulations? If they haven't verbally congratulated you, I would worry that they were not happy. If they have, then I wouldn't worry.

LisaJill Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:46 PM+

LisaJill MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 779 WEDDING DATE: Jul 30, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:46 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

Thats what I kind of thought, but wanted to be sure that it wasn't something that was 'rude' by them. I am not looking for gifts I just don't know as far as 'etiquette' whether it is appropriate. Thanks for your advise, I feel much better!!!

Oh, we aren't having an engagement party, the are not contributing to the wedding, blah blah blah.

I was feeling offended, but I feel a little better now.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:51 PM+

Mrs. dleeny MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12387 WEDDING DATE: Nov 06, 2005

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:51 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

We got a few engagements gifts. but my folks didn't give us anything. which is really weird because my friends parents sent us a check.

neither of my sisters send us so much as a card. yes, my family s u c k s

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:53 PM+

glinda_goodwitch MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 8731 WEDDING DATE: Jun 17, 2006

Posted: Oct 14, 2005 03:53 PM

Re: Is it normal not to get engagement presents from FMIL, FFIL, and FBIL

Posted by carlsbride

Every family is different. My family (extended & immediate) does not give engagement gifts, but my FI's family does. As soon as we started getting gifts, I let him know, do not expect this from my family.

.

That's exactly how it was for us. My FI's family was so generous, whereas some family members gave us gifts, but not a lot. I wasn't expecting any gifts, so I am grateful for what we got. But the point was that some families are different, and so it may not be that they're not happy for you but that they just don't generally give engagement gifts.