what color tux/vest?

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

Ok who would be offended if he were left out? His sister? Oh well. Im sure she will get over it. If not, then she needs to put things into perspective. Its your day and you need to be happy.

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

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Posted by Goldi1021

Ok who would be offended if he were left out? His sister? Oh well. Im sure she will get over it. If not, then she needs to put things into perspective. Its your day and you need to be happy.

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His sister MIGHT be...but she knows how he is, and doesnt even get mad when he doesnt come to parties or holidays....n its not like hes doin anything else either...hes home DOIN NOTHING.....well unless u consider smoking pot nothing........which i do

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

I would talk to his sister about it, but not really ask her...just say something like

Listen, I don't want you to feel bad b/c we didn't ask Carlos, but you know as well as I do that he's not really involved in your family functions anyway, and honestly we just don't feel as close...

this way your not ignoring the situation and she understands it's not really a 'snub'

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

I voted no, because the people in your BP are people that are essentially standing up for you, supporting your marriage, and should for the most part be people you are close w/ or at least spend time with! Not people who make excuses to get out of going to your e-party! We dropped 2 groomsmen for that reason! FH told them to their face!

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

I also voted no. If this guy can't even come to your e party or family functions, then he shouldn't be in your wedding party.

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

sorry booba -

i think you have to ask carlos.
remember you are not doing it for carols's sake - you are doing it for your fsil. especially is fmil thinks you should - i wouldn't start a war over it or piss anyone off at this stage in the game. who needs the stress??

if it makes you feel better - picking my wedding party was one of the most stressful tasks. i really felt like it made me 'rank' people. for some its an easy decision- for me it was torture.

bright side - carols may decline.....

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

Although I want to say no, you shouldn't if everyone hates him, part of me thinks that you might need to.
If you had only asked the other sisters husbands, but not the other boyfriend, then that would be fine.. but to ask the one boyfriend and not the other.. your FSIL might be really offended or hurt. I would bring it up with her, and see how she feels.
The day of the wedding it would probably be really weird for her if her other sisters and sig others are all in the BP, but not her...

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

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Posted by JeanineHubert

So here's the deal. FH has 3 sisters, 1 is married, and the other 2 have been living w/their boyfriends for quite some time now.
Automatically, I asked the married sisters husband to be in it, and 1 of the other sisters boyfriends. The OTHER sisters boyfriend, lets call him Carlos, I do NOT want to ask....I never see him, he didn't even come to our ENGAGEMENT party bc he was 'working', and I never talk to him.
So FH was saying tonight that we should still ask him, bc the other 2 sisters boyfriends/husband is in it...Well, I do NOT want to..and FH's mom has said before that he should be in it...No one even likes him, he never comes to ANY family parties, so why should he be in my wedding party?
So FH wants to know what you guys think.....
I'm adding a poll.
Thanks!

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This is tough, only b/c you don't want to cause any conflict between you and FH's family or FH and his family. I voted for mentioning to his sister. Antoher thought, ask him, he MAY say no based on his track record.

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

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Posted by MsKitty1274



This is tough, only b/c you don't want to cause any conflict between you and FH's family or FH and his family. I voted for mentioning to his sister. Antoher thought, ask him, he MAY say no based on his track record.

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That's what I'M thinking..that he'll say NO....When we hadn't gotten a response back from his sister about the engagement party she was just very noncholant like 'yeaaaaa....i dont think hes goin to come..you know him, plus he might have to work....'.
HOPEFULLY he'll say NO......I'll be even surprised if he comes to the wedding.

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

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Posted by thefirstlady

I voted no, because the people in your BP are people that are essentially standing up for you, supporting your marriage, and should for the most part be people you are close w/ or at least spend time with! Not people who make excuses to get out of going to your e-party! We dropped 2 groomsmen for that reason! FH told them to their face!

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Word!

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

Little confised. Did you ask all his sisters to be BM? If oyur Fh has no relationship with the boyfriend then I would not ask him. he is not family and they are not even engaged.

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

Seriously this is how i feel... its YOUR wedding and this is his sisters boyfriend! B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D!!! Not husband, not even her fiance! I'm sorry, but boyfriends... don't make the cut in my opinion, unless you're really close to the guy.

*And like you said... he doesn't take part in the family events, so why are you even thinking of asking him? It's supposed to be an honor and in my opinion, he doesn't deserve it. I WOULD DEFINITELY NOT ASK HIM!!!

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

Well since you offered your FH bil and his othere sister bf to be a gm, then I would just ask the other bf. Or just have your FH ask him. He might say no. I would just get it out of the way. He'll be in a few pictures and with your FH most of the ceremony and thats it. What are we talking about is a few hours. And if he doesn't like to go to family functions he might just say no. Trust me, get it out of the way and let your FH just ask.

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll UPDATE

OH no......I AM PISSEDDDDDDDDDD OFF.
Do u know what FH did?
His sister called b4, she asked him if he asked Carlos to be in the bridal party. He said he did a long time ago, but she said she didnt think so...
well SHE ASKED CARLOS AGAIN n now he said yes...
im so flippin mad its not even funny...
AND FH didnt tell me until 3 hours later this morning....he said he doesnt even want him in it, he just feels bad bc he asked his sisters husband n other sisters boyfriend

how i want to kill him

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

ok, this is difficult. I didn't want my FBIL girl friend in the wedding but I am not putting any family boyfriend or girlfriends in. Do you see him actually being around for along time, do you think they will get married?

It's a tuff call who will you offend and how bad will you offend them?

Does FH want him in? Do they get along? They are his groomsmen so it's important that he is happy with the decision.

I couldn't even answer the poll, sorry!

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

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Posted by JeanineHubert

OH no......I AM PISSEDDDDDDDDDD OFF.
Do u know what FH did?
His sister called b4, she asked him if he asked Carlos to be in the bridal party. He said he did a long time ago, but she said she didnt think so...
well SHE ASKED CARLOS AGAIN n now he said yes...
im so flippin mad its not even funny...
AND FH didnt tell me until 3 hours later this morning....he said he doesnt even want him in it, he just feels bad bc he asked his sisters husband n other sisters boyfriend

how i want to kill him

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Well in this case you are now stuck. Your FH obviously felt obligated to put him in. I am sure he won't ruin your day and everything will be ok!

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Posted by LuvMyFH

ok, this is difficult. I didn't want my FBIL girl friend in the wedding but I am not putting any family boyfriend or girlfriends in. Do you see him actually being around for along time, do you think they will get married?

It's a tuff call who will you offend and how bad will you offend them?

Does FH want him in? Do they get along? They are his groomsmen so it's important that he is happy with the decision.

I couldn't even answer the poll, sorry!

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They've been going out for 8 years, doubt they will get married.
When he found out, he didnt even call or anything. No show at the engagement party and he lives down the block and we never see them. EVER.
I don't think his sister even cares...
FH doesn't want him in, he jsut says that we HAVE to have him in bc the other 2 sisters bf/husband are in it. He doesnt even really like him either.

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

oh well.....sorry girl....but what's done is done now. and you know what - be thankful. your last arguement was that his sister would not care - which is obviously wrong - otherwise she wouldn't have invited herself and her BF into the BP. so its better than you or FH approaching her saying - 'do you think he will really care?'

it is what it is - and sometimes you have to do things for family.....they are your family now...

oh....and give ginzaloon a break - he got cornered and probably didn't know what to do.

so sorry....

Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll

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Posted by mtdr1106

sorry booba -

i think you have to ask carlos.
remember you are not doing it for carols's sake - you are doing it for your fsil. especially is fmil thinks you should - i wouldn't start a war over it or piss anyone off at this stage in the game. who needs the stress??

if it makes you feel better - picking my wedding party was one of the most stressful tasks. i really felt like it made me 'rank' people. for some its an easy decision- for me it was torture.

bright side - carols may decline.....

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I agree 100%...if you asked all the othe rmarried sisters' husbands to be in, you should ask him as well...hey maybe he'll say that he doesnt want to be in it to begin with and that'll let you off the hook...but I personally would ask him, since I did ask everyone else...