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GsCM4EVA
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 2838 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/13/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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what color tux/vest?
Message edited 5/25/2007 9:11:44 PM.
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Posted 10/20/05 7:48 PM 
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Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Ok who would be offended if he were left out? His sister? Oh well. Im sure she will get over it. If not, then she needs to put things into perspective. Its your day and you need to be happy.
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Posted 10/20/05 7:51 PM
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GsCM4EVA
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 2838 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/13/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by Goldi1021
Ok who would be offended if he were left out? His sister? Oh well. Im sure she will get over it. If not, then she needs to put things into perspective. Its your day and you need to be happy.
His sister MIGHT be...but she knows how he is, and doesnt even get mad when he doesnt come to parties or holidays....n its not like hes doin anything else either...hes home DOIN NOTHING.....well unless u consider smoking pot nothing........which i do 
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Posted 10/20/05 8:09 PM
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JessicaM.
totally
Member since 3/05 10894 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/23/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
shes gonna dream up the world she wants to live in
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
I would talk to his sister about it, but not really ask her...just say something like
Listen, I don't want you to feel bad b/c we didn't ask Carlos, but you know as well as I do that he's not really involved in your family functions anyway, and honestly we just don't feel as close...
this way your not ignoring the situation and she understands it's not really a "snub"
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Posted 10/20/05 8:21 PM
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thefirstlady
Happily Hitched!
Member since 8/05 1820 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/5/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue Manor
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
I voted no, because the people in your BP are people that are essentially standing up for you, supporting your marriage, and should for the most part be people you are close w/ or at least spend time with! Not people who make excuses to get out of going to your e-party! We dropped 2 groomsmen for that reason! FH told them to their face!
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Posted 10/20/05 8:23 PM
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hmpena
Momma to be- team blue!
Member since 1/05 14748 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/15/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow A+
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
I also voted no. If this guy can't even come to your e party or family functions, then he shouldn't be in your wedding party.
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Posted 10/20/05 9:25 PM
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mtdr1106
1 year down - a lifetime to go
Member since 7/05 4449 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/11/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
leonards - A++
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
sorry booba -
i think you have to ask carlos.
remember you are not doing it for carols's sake - you are doing it for your fsil. especially is fmil thinks you should - i wouldn't start a war over it or piss anyone off at this stage in the game. who needs the stress??
if it makes you feel better - picking my wedding party was one of the most stressful tasks. i really felt like it made me "rank" people. for some its an easy decision- for me it was torture.
bright side - carols may decline.....
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Posted 10/20/05 9:26 PM
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LaurenluvsTJ
Married life is sweet!
Member since 1/05 11868 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Although I want to say no, you shouldn't if everyone hates him, part of me thinks that you might need to.
If you had only asked the other sisters husbands, but not the other boyfriend, then that would be fine.. but to ask the one boyfriend and not the other.. your FSIL might be really offended or hurt. I would bring it up with her, and see how she feels.
The day of the wedding it would probably be really weird for her if her other sisters and sig others are all in the BP, but not her...
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Posted 10/20/05 9:30 PM
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MsKitty1274
My little Monster!!
Member since 7/04 3544 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/25/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by JeanineHubert
So here's the deal. FH has 3 sisters, 1 is married, and the other 2 have been living w/their boyfriends for quite some time now.
Automatically, I asked the married sisters husband to be in it, and 1 of the other sisters boyfriends. The OTHER sisters boyfriend, lets call him Carlos, I do NOT want to ask....I never see him, he didn't even come to our ENGAGEMENT party  bc he was "working", and I never talk to him.
So FH was saying tonight that we should still ask him, bc the other 2 sisters boyfriends/husband is in it...Well, I do NOT want to..and FH's mom has said before that he should be in it...No one even likes him, he never comes to ANY family parties, so why should he be in my wedding party?
So FH wants to know what you guys think.....
I'm adding a poll.
Thanks!
This is tough, only b/c you don't want to cause any conflict between you and FH's family or FH and his family. I voted for mentioning to his sister. Antoher thought, ask him, he MAY say no based on his track record.
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Posted 10/20/05 9:34 PM
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GsCM4EVA
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 2838 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/13/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by MsKitty1274
This is tough, only b/c you don't want to cause any conflict between you and FH's family or FH and his family. I voted for mentioning to his sister. Antoher thought, ask him, he MAY say no based on his track record.
That's what I"M thinking..that he'll say NO....When we hadn't gotten a response back from his sister about the engagement party she was just very noncholant like "yeaaaaa....i dont think hes goin to come..you know him, plus he might have to work....".
HOPEFULLY he'll say NO......I'll be even surprised if he comes to the wedding. 
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Posted 10/21/05 8:36 AM
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SIBride06
Member since 4/05 7317 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/26/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by thefirstlady
I voted no, because the people in your BP are people that are essentially standing up for you, supporting your marriage, and should for the most part be people you are close w/ or at least spend time with! Not people who make excuses to get out of going to your e-party! We dropped 2 groomsmen for that reason! FH told them to their face!
Word!
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Posted 10/21/05 8:40 AM
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suzybilly819
MARRIED
Member since 8/05 1323 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/15/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Venetian Yacht club
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Little confised. Did you ask all his sisters to be BM? If oyur Fh has no relationship with the boyfriend then I would not ask him. he is not family and they are not even engaged.
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Posted 10/21/05 1:28 PM
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aliwnec10
I love my husband!
Member since 9/05 2164 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/7/2006 5:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Gurneys Inn in Montauk
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Seriously this is how i feel... its YOUR wedding and this is his sisters boyfriend! B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D!!! Not husband, not even her fiance! I'm sorry, but boyfriends... don't make the cut in my opinion, unless you're really close to the guy.
*And like you said... he doesn't take part in the family events, so why are you even thinking of asking him? It's supposed to be an honor and in my opinion, he doesn't deserve it. I WOULD DEFINITELY NOT ASK HIM!!!
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Posted 10/21/05 2:45 PM
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EmberLynn
Keeping it real!
Member since 11/03 3483 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/6/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Well since you offered your FH bil and his othere sister bf to be a gm, then I would just ask the other bf. Or just have your FH ask him. He might say no. I would just get it out of the way. He'll be in a few pictures and with your FH most of the ceremony and thats it. What are we talking about is a few hours. And if he doesn't like to go to family functions he might just say no. Trust me, get it out of the way and let your FH just ask.
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Posted 10/21/05 2:58 PM
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GsCM4EVA
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 2838 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/13/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll UPDATE
OH no......I AM PISSEDDDDDDDDDD OFF.
Do u know what FH did?
His sister called b4, she asked him if he asked Carlos to be in the bridal party. He said he did a long time ago, but she said she didnt think so...
well SHE ASKED CARLOS AGAIN n now he said yes...
im so flippin mad its not even funny...
AND FH didnt tell me until 3 hours later this morning....he said he doesnt even want him in it, he just feels bad bc he asked his sisters husband n other sisters boyfriend
  how i want to kill him
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Posted 10/26/05 2:11 PM
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LuvMyFH
Board Fanatic
Member since 6/05 594 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
ok, this is difficult. I didn't want my FBIL girl friend in the wedding but I am not putting any family boyfriend or girlfriends in. Do you see him actually being around for along time, do you think they will get married?
It's a tuff call who will you offend and how bad will you offend them?
Does FH want him in? Do they get along? They are his groomsmen so it's important that he is happy with the decision.
I couldn't even answer the poll, sorry!
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Posted 10/26/05 2:44 PM
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LuvMyFH
Board Fanatic
Member since 6/05 594 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by JeanineHubert
OH no......I AM PISSEDDDDDDDDDD OFF.
Do u know what FH did?
His sister called b4, she asked him if he asked Carlos to be in the bridal party. He said he did a long time ago, but she said she didnt think so...
well SHE ASKED CARLOS AGAIN n now he said yes...
im so flippin mad its not even funny...
AND FH didnt tell me until 3 hours later this morning....he said he doesnt even want him in it, he just feels bad bc he asked his sisters husband n other sisters boyfriend
how i want to kill him
Well in this case you are now stuck. Your FH obviously felt obligated to put him in. I am sure he won't ruin your day and everything will be ok!
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Posted 10/26/05 2:45 PM
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GsCM4EVA
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 2838 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/13/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by LuvMyFH
ok, this is difficult. I didn't want my FBIL girl friend in the wedding but I am not putting any family boyfriend or girlfriends in. Do you see him actually being around for along time, do you think they will get married?
It's a tuff call who will you offend and how bad will you offend them?
Does FH want him in? Do they get along? They are his groomsmen so it's important that he is happy with the decision.
I couldn't even answer the poll, sorry!
They've been going out for 8 years, doubt they will get married.
When he found out, he didnt even call or anything. No show at the engagement party and he lives down the block and we never see them. EVER.
I don't think his sister even cares...
FH doesn't want him in, he jsut says that we HAVE to have him in bc the other 2 sisters bf/husband are in it. He doesnt even really like him either.
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Posted 10/26/05 3:21 PM
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mtdr1106
1 year down - a lifetime to go
Member since 7/05 4449 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/11/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
leonards - A++
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
oh well.....sorry girl....but what's done is done now. and you know what - be thankful. your last arguement was that his sister would not care - which is obviously wrong - otherwise she wouldn't have invited herself and her BF into the BP. so its better than you or FH approaching her saying - "do you think he will really care?"
it is what it is - and sometimes you have to do things for family.....they are your family now...
oh....and give ginzaloon a break - he got cornered and probably didn't know what to do.
so sorry....
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Posted 10/26/05 3:26 PM
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M&S Sept12006
2 Years Down...
Member since 3/05 5843 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor - A
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by mtdr1106
sorry booba -
i think you have to ask carlos.
remember you are not doing it for carols's sake - you are doing it for your fsil. especially is fmil thinks you should - i wouldn't start a war over it or piss anyone off at this stage in the game. who needs the stress??
if it makes you feel better - picking my wedding party was one of the most stressful tasks. i really felt like it made me "rank" people. for some its an easy decision- for me it was torture.
bright side - carols may decline.....
I agree 100%...if you asked all the othe rmarried sisters' husbands to be in, you should ask him as well...hey maybe he'll say that he doesnt want to be in it to begin with and that'll let you off the hook...but I personally would ask him, since I did ask everyone else...
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Posted 10/26/05 3:31 PM
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GsCM4EVA
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 2838 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/13/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by mtdr1106
oh well.....sorry girl....but what's done is done now. and you know what - be thankful. your last arguement was that his sister would not care - which is obviously wrong - otherwise she wouldn't have invited herself and her BF into the BP. so its better than you or FH approaching her saying - "do you think he will really care?"
it is what it is - and sometimes you have to do things for family.....they are your family now...
oh....and give ginzaloon a break - he got cornered and probably didn't know what to do.
so sorry....
ginzalooon always gets cornered w/his family...its ridiculous....i'm just so upset, i almost just cried at work, LOL.
i'm just stressed w/work, pickin DJ/photo...EVERTHING
what i would love is if he suddenly had to "work" that night...
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Posted 10/26/05 3:51 PM
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mtdr1106
1 year down - a lifetime to go
Member since 7/05 4449 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/11/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
leonards - A++
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Posted by JeanineHubert
Posted by mtdr1106
oh well.....sorry girl....but what's done is done now. and you know what - be thankful. your last arguement was that his sister would not care - which is obviously wrong - otherwise she wouldn't have invited herself and her BF into the BP. so its better than you or FH approaching her saying - "do you think he will really care?"
it is what it is - and sometimes you have to do things for family.....they are your family now...
oh....and give ginzaloon a break - he got cornered and probably didn't know what to do.
so sorry....
ginzalooon always gets cornered w/his family...its ridiculous....i'm just so upset, i almost just cried at work, LOL.
i'm just stressed w/work, pickin DJ/photo...EVERTHING
what i would love is if he suddenly had to "work" that night...
i know - it totally $ucks - but i think that this jerky bird psuedo BIL is probably the least of your worries. Its ok to get upset - but unfortunately what is done is done...
i think you are just super stressed.....just book duet already and get your photographer out of the way....you will feel so much better...
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Posted 10/26/05 5:06 PM
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N.Y.bride
Beyond Obsession
Member since 3/05 7206 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Chateau La Mer A++++++
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
No way! This is your WEDDING! Not just a party or anything. Its one of the most important days of your life and if you dont want him in the bridal party - then NO WAY! Dont do it just because you feel bad or because the other boyfriends are in it. Trust me if its one thing I learned the hard way, ask only the people who you REALLY want to be in it.
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Posted 10/26/05 5:09 PM
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mka06
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 7/05 1171 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/24/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
booked!
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
Don't invite someone you don't want and who doesn't make an effort for family to be in your wedding!
I was the girlfriend to get asked 5 years ago... the gf of my ex. We'd been together over 5 years and everybody thought it ws a given we'd end up married. Didn't happen. I love ex's bro and sis-in-law, but haven't seen them in years because of breakup issues. I'm sure at this point they regret having me in it.... And, I don't blame them if they feel that way!
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Posted 10/26/05 5:12 PM
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julybride06
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 3/05 1088 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2006 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
CHATEAU LA MER
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Re: Groomsmen Question w/Poll
It's your wedding have who you want and actually know!!!
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Posted 10/27/05 7:03 PM
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