Parents Gifts... Need Help~

Hi girls,
I'm going over the numbers for the wedding and I was thinking about whether or not we need to buy our parents gifts. Here's the situation... My parents are helping us out big time. I would say they are covering about 2/3 of the cost of the wedding. FI and I are picking up the rest. FI's parents on the other hand aren't giving us anything towards the wedding and if the e-party gift is any indication of their generosity we won't be getting much. At this point $$ is tight and I definitely feel FI's parents don't deserve gifts but on the other hand I think mine do. Do you think it's fair to give my parents something and not his? If so, when do I give them their gifts? I plan to give the BP their gifts at the rehearsal dinner. I would feel funny giving the BP their gifts and then my parents their gifts while FI's family/parents are watching on... Then I thought, since my parents aren't covering the whole thing (which I may add is FINE!!!) should I forego getting them anything? What do you think I should do?

Thanks!!!

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

I am in a similar situation and I feel that it is important to give gifts to both sets of parents. The gift is not only for contributing to the cost, it is for showing that you have appreciated them in your life. I have decided to give my parents a more expensive gift because they are giving so much, but we are definitely giving his parents something (like an engraved picture frame) as a token. We will give the gifts at the Rehearsal Dinner. HTH

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

personally... i feel that that even though his parents aren't contributing any money to the wedding, they are still his PARENTS... the people who raised him and have supported him to this point... i think that in itself deserves a gift.... jmo.... it doesn't have to be anything big, but they definitely deserve something....
for ours parents gifts, we paid extra to our photographer for 2 parents albums- each set of parents got to pick out the pictures they wanted in their album.... it was reasonable, and both were really happy and really liked the idea. HTH

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

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Posted by ML110

personally... i feel that that even though his parents aren't contributing any money to the wedding, they are still his PARENTS... the people who raised him and have supported him to this point... i think that in itself deserves a gift.... jmo.... it doesn't have to be anything big, but they definitely deserve something....
for ours parents gifts, we paid extra to our photographer for 2 parents albums- each set of parents got to pick out the pictures they wanted in their album.... it was reasonable, and both were really happy and really liked the idea. HTH

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I guess I should have mentioned that we are paying for both our parent's albums already. This would be in addition to the albums.

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

Hey, Jenn, I replied on the '06 board.

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

Thanks Jen!

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

well... i think if you're giving them each a copy of the pro DVD and an album, i think thats fine for a gift for both sets- i'm sure they're costing enough...
i thought that you meant you weren't getting FIs parents anything, which i don't think is right.... but i still think you should keep the gifts even, regardless of what you're getting out of it....

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

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Posted by ML110

well... i think if you're giving them each a copy of the pro DVD and an album, i think thats fine for a gift for both sets- i'm sure they're costing enough...
i thought that you meant you weren't getting FIs parents anything, which i don't think is right.... but i still think you should keep the gifts even, regardless of what you're getting out of it....

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But do you think it's fair that my parents get the same thing as his even though they show an active interest in our wedding? And I mean more than money. When we see them or talk to them they actually ask how the plans are coming along. His parents/family hasn't asked once since we got engaged back in Dec. Not to mention if I even bring it up they just change the subject! It's like they aren't interested at all! I don't know, I just don't think it's fair to reward people who couldn't give a rats-A$$ about this wedding.

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

Im in a similar sitation as well. My fmily as well as FH and I are paying for about 96% of the wedding. There is not much enthusiasm on the part of his family in regard to the wedding (I know why but I'd rather not get into it). Do I think they should get gifts? Yes, because I would forever be EVIL if we didn't.

We felt the parent album would be an appropriate gift but MY mother is paying for photography. Why should SHE pay for THEIR gift. We may simply ask the photographer to remove the parent albums from the rest of the photography package and put them on a separate bill (as long as they add up the same way in the end cost-wise) and NOT have my mother pay for them so we can give each family an album.

I also plan on giving my mother the Lenox Figurine 'A Mother's Loving Touch.' as it has been a very rough year planning a wedding after losing Dad in July.

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

So maybe in addition, I'll get my parents alittle something in addition to the album and dvd and his parents will just get the album and dvd...

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

We are getting both sets of parents their album and DVD. Since my parents gave us a good chunk of the wedding costs, I got them little tokens items (got mom that Loving Touch figurine Leslie mentioned), but I will not give them these at the RD - I will do it privately, maybe on the wedding day.

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

you can absolutely give your parents a gift and not his. If they are footing a lot of the bill it's deserved. You can give them their gift before the rehersal dinner so you don't do it in front of his parents-but I think it's fine to do that.

I'm in a similar situation, my Dad is paying for most of the wedding and a down payment on a home so he's being honored on my invitation (as he is inviting the guests) and I intend to buy him something as well to say thank you for all he is giving me.

if his parents aren't offering they probably aren't even thinking that you will give them a thank you gift anyway.

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

My parents paid for most of the wedding and were really involved in the planning. We got everybody a gift, but we spent much more on my parents' gift.

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

My Dad HATES when I buy him a gift-

so I am going the setimetal route and getting him a picture frame- on one side us dancing at my sweet 16 and the other side a spot for us dancing at the wedding

for my FH parents- we are getting them a parent albumn- I guess my dd is b/c he is paying- that's enough they haven't done much

Re: Parents Gifts... Need Help~

If you are getting albums from your photographer for them then that could be there gift as well as soemthing else. We bought our moms tiffany's braclets & compacts with their initials from lillian vernon & we got out dad's cuff links just like the groomsmen. Both parents are contributing the same amt of money to the wedding.

Also like an earlier post said they are still his parents so you shoudl get them something maybe get your parents something nicer but they still should receive a gift.