I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

Ok, I need to vent (yet again). Every year, thanksgiving is the biggest fight we have. My family has done thanksgiving every year and it is the only time that most of my family comes together. This year there will be 20 people from my family, including both my grandparents that aren't in the best health and it is my grandma's 82nd birthday. Every year his mom has thanksgiving. The people there are his two siblings, their spouses and his grandparents. Bear in mind, they all live within a 10 mile radius and we are ALWAYS with them.. we just saw them last week and we will be spending all of x-mas with his family (i am jewish). I am soo mad that he can't give in and be a man and do something for his bride. This is important to me. This year would be soo nice, my cousins will be there and I haven't seen them in two years, and everyone will be so happy for me because I am getting married, and my sister is pregnant. It is just such a happy occasion and I don't want to go to his family... always the same people and the food stinks (LOL). He wants us to split dinner and desert. I want to sing happy birthday to my grandma.. and we are gonna see his WHOLE family Dec 24, 25 and 26!!! (aside from last weekend, next weekend, etc. etc.) I am just livid that he isn't willing to sacrifice it for me. I am so mad. Now we aren't speaking, we were supposed to have plans for today and he just walked out. I don't understand why we should spend thanksgiving with the same 8 people (and it is DEPRESSING), instead of at an entire family reunion. I can't believe he won't give in for me. I am so hurt.

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

that's terrible! men they just don't get it sometimes..i think he should be more flexible..especially since you see his family a lot and are spending x-mas with them! x-mas is definitely a bigger holiday than thanksgiving..what you are asking for is small. if i was in your shoes and after everything he still doesn't want to go..i'd go without him! your family is going to be his family, you'd think he'd want to get to know all of them better and be there!

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

We are actually splitting dinner and dessert. This will be our first Thanksgiving without Dad and FH understands how important it is since my mom is still quite vulnerable and sad (as are we all). Dinner will be with MY family and dessert with his. Next year we will alternate. There has to be compromise when there are two families involved. Since FH's family is celebrating not that far away, it wasn't hard for us. I do agree that since you will be wih them on X-mas and that may have more meaning to them, he should bend a little for you.

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

Given that you are spending x-mas with is family, and your family is having a huge reunion for Thanksgiving, he should give in. If he doesn't, I would go without him and enjoy the time with your cousins that you haven't seen in two years, singing Happy Birthday to your grandmother, your sister's pregancy etc.

Hang in there!!

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

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Posted by Goldi1021

We are actually splitting dinner and dessert. This will be our first Thanksgiving without Dad and FH understands how important it is since my mom is still quite vulnerable and sad (as are we all). Dinner will be with MY family and dessert with his. Next year we will alternate. There has to be compromise when there are two families involved. Since FH's family is celebrating not that far away, it wasn't hard for us. I do agree that since you will be wih them on X-mas and that may have more meaning to them, he should bend a little for you.

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That is the thing! We aren't in similar situations. My family is having a HUGE dinner this year and my cousins (whose parents are divorced) will finally be with us. I haven't seen them in years! We see everybody that is going to be at his mom's ALL the time! we will see them less than a month later. I have no idea when the next time i will see my entire family is. My grandparents live in Brooklyn, they don't drive, they hate commuting (even when we drive them), they get very tired from the commute and they are getting increasingly difficult. PLUS it is my grandma's birthday and I wanna sing to her. My grandparents have been amazing to us. My grandpa at 82 still works, as a window washer even after he had heart surgery and all they want is to be able to give us money to help us buy a house one day. They are soo wonderful and it is so hard for me to see them with my work schedule. I don't want to sacrifice a moment of time I have with them. He should feel the same way, they are so warm to him. This is so upsetting, and now he and I arent speaking... and usually once that happens we go DAYS without speaking. And now, I am all alone at home today and I don't know what to do with myself

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

Well in that case, he should really understand. I am sorry you have to deal with this. You still have a little time to work it out. I hope you are able to resolve it.

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

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Posted by LisaJill

And now, I am all alone at home today and I don't know what to do with myself

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Come to the GTG!!! A bunch of us are meeting today at Jillian's in Westbury at 5 PM.

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

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Posted by SexyEsq

Given that you are spending x-mas with is family, and your family is having a huge reunion for Thanksgiving, he should give in. If he doesn't, I would go without him and enjoy the time with your cousins that you haven't seen in two years, singing Happy Birthday to your grandmother, your sister's pregancy etc.

Hang in there!!

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I totally agree. If he doesn't want to give in go without him. Especially to sing happy birtday to your grandma and to see both grandparents.

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

what is gtg??

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

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Posted by LisaJill

what is gtg??

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get to gether

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

have u stressed to fh how important this is to u. maybe u guys could compromise...if u go to your family this yr, u could go to his family next yr

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

Being that you are spending Christmas with his family, he should spend Thanksgiving with yours, since its just his family that you guys are always with. He should give in.

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

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Posted by Happybride2005



have u stressed to fh how important this is to u. maybe u guys could compromise...if u go to your family this yr, u could go to his family next yr

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I don't want to make that commitment because I really don't know what next year will bring. I don't see my grandparents often and if they are willing to come out from Brooklyn, then I want to be with them. I really can't give that up. I would feel terrible if I ever missed a 'last' family event with them. He has to understand that, we see his grandparents soo much and I even told him we could go to them the next day. So he just called and told me that he is happier when I am not with him. isn't that horrible?? Oh, btw: he is a BIG momma's boy (which I think is def. part of the problem).
I am gonna get in my pjs and order tons of cable movies and make him pay for them! i am now depressed... I JUST BOUGHT MY WEDDING DRESS YESTERDAY

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

is there a way u 2 could make a compromise

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

so why dont you guys split up this year?

If its truly that important for you to be with yoru family- you have the option to choose them....truth be told you arent married yet and besides...who is he to make decisions for you!!!???

Stand up for what you want ---otherwis eyou entire marriage will be fights just like thisb

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

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Posted by JPC1125

so why dont you guys split up this year?

If its truly that important for you to be with yoru family- you have the option to choose them....truth be told you arent married yet and besides...who is he to make decisions for you!!!???

Stand up for what you want ---otherwis eyou entire marriage will be fights just like thisb

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Thanks! Hope you have a fantastice wedding next weekend!!!!!! Congrats!

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

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Posted by LisaJill

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Posted by JPC1125

so why dont you guys split up this year?

If its truly that important for you to be with yoru family- you have the option to choose them....truth be told you arent married yet and besides...who is he to make decisions for you!!!???

Stand up for what you want ---otherwis eyou entire marriage will be fights just like thisb

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Thanks! Hope you have a fantastice wedding next weekend!!!!!! Congrats!

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I hope I didnt sound too harsh...but if he isnt willing to compromise, I hate to say it but with the comment he made about being happier w/o you, you maybe should spend some time apart and think things through. I wish you all the best and thank you for your warm wishes. I hope I will be able to return them for you next year!!

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

I hope I didnt sound too harsh...but if he isnt willing to compromise, I hate to say it but with the comment he made about being happier w/o you, you maybe should spend some time apart and think things through. I wish you all the best and thank you for your warm wishes. I hope I will be able to return them for you next year!!

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You aren't being harsh. I appreciate your advise and I agree, I will just go by myself. I just hate that my family might have things to say about it. Truth be told, I think I will always be second to his family. We have this fight every year. Oh well, hopefully I will be there next or else what will i do with my pretty new dress

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

I'm really sorry that he doesn't see why this is so important to you. We usually have this problem too but we manage to go to both houses b/c his family eats earlier than ours. So we just eat twice and make everyone happy. From what I understand about your situation...I really think he should give in. If he doesn't then go alone. I hate to be a pessimistic but God forbid something happens to your grandparents (since they are older) and you don't see them...you'll never forgive yourself and you'll hold him responsible to some degree.

Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues

You have FM (forum mail)!!!