Meeting with the priest...

this Saturday! OMG, I cant believe that I am nervous...

What kind of questions should we expect on our initial meeting??? We live together and I dont think we'll let him know that...but what about if he asks us if we're 'intimate' with each other...we've been together for 8 years, if we tell him no he'll probably laugh in our face...

Thank you ladies for all your help!

Re: Meeting with the priest...

we had a preist from hell!!!

he asked soooo many questions - about where we would be living, how we met, how long we have known each other, blah blah blah. he made us come back 3x's!!!

i have heard this is not common - most of the time its one meeting to just greet each other and get some background.

there is also a 'standard' questionaire they need to fill out - he seperated fi & myself for this part. these are the - will you have children? will you raise them catholic? kind of questions...

dont worry - you'll be fine!! i was a nervous wreck the first time i went - and it was easy....it was just so annoying that he kept making us come back....

Re: Meeting with the priest...

i'm meeting with the the priest today! i'm really nervous, but I'll let you know how it goes!

Re: Meeting with the priest...

We met with our priest last night. I was so nervous before hand, but it was easy!

We live together and told the truth. The priest was understanding. He was not happy about it, but he was happy that we were getting married.

There was some basic paperwork to fill out and go through then he asked us some questions about how we met, how long we've known each other and made sure we had the same ideas about what marriage is and children and financial support. They really want to make sure you are really committed to each other and to your marriage.

We were there talking with him for a little over an hour.

Now we have to sign-up for pre-cana and get all the other paperwork we need.

Don't worry!

Re: Meeting with the priest...

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Posted by JCam695

We met with our priest last night. I was so nervous before hand, but it was easy!

We live together and told the truth. The priest was understanding. He was not happy about it, but he was happy that we were getting married.

There was some basic paperwork to fill out and go through then he asked us some questions about how we met, how long we've known each other and made sure we had the same ideas about what marriage is and children and financial support. They really want to make sure you are really committed to each other and to your marriage.

We were there talking with him for a little over an hour.

Now we have to sign-up for pre-cana and get all the other paperwork we need.

Don't worry!

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Thank you. We live together and honestly I feel uneasy about telling him the truth...I know this might sound bad but I think it'll actually be easier...even my mom emphasized not to mention that we live together...Im sure all will work out. I'll keep you girls posted.

Re: Meeting with the priest...

I had the same experience but in the end it was fine...My FH and i also live together but lied (i am surely going to hell for lying to a priest!) and he seperated us and asked us tons of weird quetsions...it was so fine, and we have to meet with him 3 more times also....

mtdr1106 - do you mind em aksing where you are getting married? wonder if its teh same place...FM me!

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Tell him the truth about living together. I'm sure you two aren't the first couple he's met that live together. Hey it is better to tell the truth than to lie to a priest...I think!

Re: Meeting with the priest...

I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think they ask those questions....at least mine didn't.

good luck and relax, you SINNER!

Re: Meeting with the priest...

Don't lie about anything, that would not be a good way to start out your life together. Couples that live together before marriage have different issues than those who don't. The Priest needs to know this about you in order to do his job properly. You guys are adults and should answer honestly about whatever he asks.

Re: Meeting with the priest...

Oh ladies you're killing me...I guess I should include a poll about whether to mention if live or dont live together.

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My very good friend is the most relgious person I know- she goes to mass at lunch sometimes

she lied to the priest about living togther
and about using BC

Re: Meeting with the priest...

In my opinion, this is something that is totally up to the both of you to decide. Like you had said, both my parents and in laws (as did me and FH) felt like it would open a whole can of worms. I did not and do not want to be treated like a 'bad catholic' for living with my FH and who knows if the priest would have been 'mad' which I think is absolutely ridiculous...but in any event, I do not feel guilty about lying. We were totally honest about everything else and frankly, this does not change our relationship or how the priest would 'counsel' us. I think it is entirely up to you and you should just recognize that MANY people are not entirely truthful abut this. Just my opinion!

Re: Meeting with the priest...

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Posted by SOON TO BE MRS. B

In my opinion, this is something that is totally up to the both of you to decide. Like you had said, both my parents and in laws (as did me and FH) felt like it would open a whole can of worms. I did not and do not want to be treated like a 'bad catholic' for living with my FH and who knows if the priest would have been 'mad' which I think is absolutely ridiculous...but in any event, I do not feel guilty about lying. We were totally honest about everything else and frankly, this does not change our relationship or how the priest would 'counsel' us. I think it is entirely up to you and you should just recognize that MANY people are not entirely truthful abut this. Just my opinion!

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Thank you darling! Same exact thoughts here!

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Yes-it is up to you Sylvia. But anyone who tells you it is OK to lie is leading you down the wrong path.

Soontobemrs. - You are incorrect in thinking 'that this does not change our relationship or how the priest would 'counsel' us' FACT -Couples who live together are counseled differently in marriage preparation in the RC Church.

Re: Meeting with the priest...

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is up to you Sylvia. But anyone who tells you it is OK to lie is leading you down the wrong path.

Soontobemrs. - You are incorrect in thinking 'that this does not change our relationship or how the priest would 'counsel' us' FACT -Couples who live together are counseled differently in marriage preparation in the RC Church. You lied-so how would you know anyway?

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I understand what you're saying, but it really is a little white lie. I mean I think there are WAY worst things that people lie about. I do agree that we would probably get counseled a little differently, but the counseling that we all need I think has little to do with the technicality of actually 'living together'. I think it has to do more with moral decision-making, loyalty, spirituality, sexuality etc etc...I dont know...thats just my take on it. I think letting the priest know whether or not we live together would make much of a difference in how we get counseled but it could make things a lot worst...I've heard that people were denied to be married bc of something like this.

Re: Meeting with the priest...

FH & I also live together, to be honest our priest didn't ask so we didn't tell. I think you have to do what is right for you & how you feel at the time. I don't know how he will react, but the again I think they appreciate honesty.

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Carlsbride - I think your post and the overall sentiment of your comments is way out of line. You do not know me or my FH so I wonder how exactly you think it is appropriate to give some sort of opinion on our relationship or the counseling we need. This is a forum for brides to be free to discuss their feelings openly and I find your comments to be very offensive and rude.

My only comment was that it is up to the individuals to make a decision as to what the believe is right, clearly you have a different opinion but there is a nice way to disagree.

Actually, your post almost gives credence to my thoughts as I feel you are judging my relationship by the fact that I live with my FH.

Re: Meeting with the priest...

i'm not lying, i'm going to tell the priest that i live with FH and his parents. not by choice but because of my family situation, i really did not have any other options. and if the priest looks at me any differently then that is something that he has work out for himself, i'm not ashamed and i won't lie. this is the 21st century, priests aren't totally closed off from the world, they know that couples live together before marriage, and its going to continue to happen whether they condone it or not.

Re: Meeting with the priest...

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

Oh ladies you're killing me...I guess I should include a poll about whether to mention if live or dont live together.

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TELL HIM!!!

our priest was a bit of a stickler - and yet was telling us about a couple he is marrying that already has a baby. he was telling us about them to stress the importance of family....but anyway - i agree with someone elses post - he is looking to see that you are commited and compatible.

not that mike is saying 'i don't want children' and your sitting there saying 'we will have 10 children' - some couples REALLY DO NOT SPEAK about things like this......they are just making sure you have discussed some of the big issues and will have a happy marriage....

dont worry about it so much....

Re: Meeting with the priest...

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

I understand what you're saying, but it really is a little white lie. I mean I think there are WAY worst things that people lie about. I do agree that we would probably get counseled a little differently, but the counseling that we all need I think has little to do with the technicality of actually 'living together'. I think it has to do more with moral decision-making, loyalty, spirituality, sexuality etc etc...I dont know...thats just my take on it. I think letting the priest know whether or not we live together would make much of a difference in how we get counseled but it could make things a lot worst...I've heard that people were denied to be married bc of something like this.

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How is a white lie different from a lie? Thou shall not tell a lie (except white ones?) The extra counseling you would receive has nothing to do with technicalities of living together. It has to do with the spiritual aspects of your living together before marriage. If that was God sitting there interviewing you, would you lie to him?

It sounds like you are convincing yourself to take the easy way out. But I am telling you, it is no way to start a marriage. Sorry, I just can't sit by and watch others encourage each other to do what is harmful.