Do you Feel Bad??

I've always wondered this?

If you know how much your FI/Hubby spent on your E-ring, do you feel bad about it? I mean, if he spent ALOT of money on the ring, how did you react if/when you found out?

This has nothing to do with if the couple could afford paying that much on the ring or not, I am just courious how many brides out there have received their E-rings, and feel bad about how much they actually cost??

TIA :)

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I actually just found out how much mine cost (vs. how much it was appraised for). Before the wedding i didn't want to know, but for some reason i figured i wanted to know now.

I wasn't mad, didn't feel bad or anything like that. I was a little shocked, but to be honest, its his choice on what he wanted to or could spend on it. I had no input (nor would i want any) and didn't even know about it before i got it.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I was surprised but not really-I know that he could have done alot with the money but..I love it all the same

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

FH asked me to marry him w/my mom's engagement ring which is 45 years old - no matter how much it's worth I love that I have it for sentimental reasons. FH also gave me a past, present and future diamond necklace when he proposed.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I didnt want to know what it cost, but when we got it appraised the man said what it appraised for and after asked what he paid- i was going to walk away, but i didnt...and i heard...to be honest it was a lot of money, but I know he had been saving it for it and my ring is beautiful...he paid the norm for the type of diamond/cut/carat etc that I have... i dont feel bad because he chose it for me with love and It is what he wanted me to have

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

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Posted by chellynyc

FH asked me to marry him w/my mom's engagement ring which is 45 years old - no matter how much it's worth I love that I have it for sentimental reasons. FH also gave me a past, present and future diamond necklace when he proposed.

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That is how one of my girlfriends got proposed to (without the necklace though). She thought that was the most romantic thing he could ever do for her. She loves her set and wouldn't change it fot the world. I think the size of the diamond is a 1/4 CT but still, she doesn't care. It's the meaning......and I agree.

It's all about the meaning. :)

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

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Posted by july06bride
i dont feel bad because he chose it for me with love and It is what he wanted me to have

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Couldn't have said it better my self! :)

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

Sentimental value is more important then monetary - money can't buy you happiness!

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I felt a little bad because I thought it was expensive, but he picked it out on his own, I never had any input.
And I love it so much.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

No I do not. Not one bit. I did not twist his arm to have this beautiful piece of jewelry and he is not easily led to do something against his will.

I would only feel bad if FH had nothing left in his bank account afterwards or had to charge it thus accruing massive amounts of debt. That debt would then become MY debt once we were married and possibly make it difficult for us to buy a home in the future. If that were the case then perhaps we would have not been financially stable enough to get married in the first place - not at our ages anyway. Living with our families was nevr an option for us. Considering that bad finances are the major reasons why couples split, I would rather not start my marriage closer to the 50/50 statistic if I didnt have to.

If he was not able to afford the ring he ultimately got for me, then I am sure he would have done one of two things:

1) Get a smaller ring knowing we would upgrade eventually
or
2) Wait until he could afford one he was pleased with.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I don't feel bad about how much the ring costs. I know DH doesn't regret spending the $ on the ring and would do it all over again. Occasionally, I've felt bad b/c 1-2 years after buying the ring, DH wasn't in a great financial position (he wasn't really able to save any $ during his clerkship) and could've had a lot more $ to pay for things had he not spent it on the ring.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I didn't feel bad because I've seen him waste a lot of money on stupid stuff like his stupid collection of Simpsons figurines that he thinks will be worth something one day.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

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Posted by babybug631

I didn't feel bad because I've seen him waste a lot of money on stupid stuff like his stupid collection of Simpsons figurines that he thinks will be worth something one day.

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lol!!!!!! I love your humor!!! Seriously, that made me laugh out loud :)

To add my own thought..well sometimes I feel a little bad b/c I know that he traded his beloved land rover in for a honda in order to save more $$ for the ring. BUT he wanted to get me the ring he did, and wouldn't have had it any other way. And like he always says, he can always buy another nice car someday in the future but the ring was the important thing then :)

**note to say that $$$ Is NOT the important thing, he could have handed me a piece of wire and i would have worn it proudly :) It was more the fact that he thought i should have something beautiful.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

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Posted by babybug631

I didn't feel bad because I've seen him waste a lot of money on stupid stuff like his stupid collection of Simpsons figurines that he thinks will be worth something one day.

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agreed! Nope, not one bit was I upset!

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I was shocked at how much money he spent. I'm so happy with the ring though, and he gets a kick out of me staring at it all the time I wasn't upset with him, but there are a lot of other things we could have used the money for. I guess that's the good thing about it being a surprise, I had no say.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

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Posted by otherme

I actually just found out how much mine cost (vs. how much it was appraised for). Before the wedding i didn't want to know, but for some reason i figured i wanted to know now.

I wasn't mad, didn't feel bad or anything like that. I was a little shocked, but to be honest, its his choice on what he wanted to or could spend on it. I had no input (nor would i want any) and didn't even know about it before i got it.

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Same with me....It was his choice and he wanted a certain stone so he dished out what he felt was an appropriate amount for it!! Way more than I expected but I had no input!!

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

No, FH would never do anything he wasn't 100% sure of.

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

Nope, FH had my ring designed exactly the way he wanted & knew what he was going to spend before he even looked...If FH didn't want to spend as much as he did, then he would not have!

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I found out before we got engaged - he had ordered it and wanted me to see if I liked the setting (haha - big on surprises) - well we went and I saw the price and I started to cry cause I thougth it was too, too much. I had seen one I loved for over $1000 less, so I thought he was overdoing it. Of course I love my ring, but I would have loved a smaller one too!

Re: Do you Feel Bad??

I do not feel bad at all because it was his doing and it was not instigated by me. He really got a lot of taste.