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Is this rude?

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:06 AM+

lipglossjunky73 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 9125 WEDDING DATE: Jun 17, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:06 AM

Is this rude?

I have to ask because I haven't been to too many weddings, and haven't been involved in the planning of too many, but people are asking me if they will be invited to the wedding...

Isn't that rude? I feel SO awkward being asked that because we are already grappling with who to invite. I have tried to tell any of the B-listers (or C-listers, or, heck =- people I never considered) about how seating is a problem and my parents are battling with me for more seats (which is the truth!) so I can't tell anyone for sure except for immediate family and close friends. But its awkward with friends who are more acquaintances and just not close friends....

So - has this happened to you all?

How do you handle this?

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:08 AM+

LaurenluvsTJ MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 11866 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:08 AM

Re: Is this rude?

yes it is rude, and fortunately I haven't had to respond to this question, but if I did, I would say something like 'Well, we haven't finalized the guest list yet.'

Beth1210 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:10 AM+

Beth1210 MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4059 WEDDING DATE: Dec 10, 2005

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:10 AM

Re: Is this rude?

we have had people call and ask why they weren't

Jake had to invite a few b/c we were so taken a back- we didn't know what to do

Soon2BeMrsD Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:11 AM+

Soon2BeMrsD MEMBER SINCE: 11/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2058 WEDDING DATE: Apr 28, 2007

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:11 AM

Re: Is this rude?

yes i think its rude but havent been asked that question as of now...if asked i would probably say that we havent figured everything out yet b/c weve been so busy doing 100 other things

MattsBride Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:11 AM+

MattsBride MEMBER SINCE: 11/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2925 WEDDING DATE: Jul 16, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:11 AM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

yes it is rude, and fortunately I haven't had to respond to this question, but if I did, I would say something like 'Well, we haven't finalized the guest list yet.'

I agree.

tracy2246 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:12 AM+

tracy2246 MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1598 WEDDING DATE: Nov 03, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 11:12 AM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by Beth1210

we have had people call and ask why they weren't

Jake had to invite a few b/c we were so taken a back- we didn't know what to do

I had that happen at our eparty-

when did it become acceptable to call someone and question why you were not invited..people are rude.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 12:47 PM+

lipglossjunky73 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 9125 WEDDING DATE: Jun 17, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 12:47 PM

Re: Is this rude?

It's weird how rudeness rears its head for weddings - if I had a birthday party, I wouldnt have people asking me why they werent invited - why do people feel they have the right to do it for this? ESPECIALLY when inviting them means 100-200 for them to be there - that is why I think its even nervier - every person invited costs a LOT of money!

Maybe we should say - sure I'll invite you, can you please shell out the 100 pp?

LOL - JK - but still...

tracy2246 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 12:56 PM+

tracy2246 MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1598 WEDDING DATE: Nov 03, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 12:56 PM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

It's weird how rudeness rears its head for weddings - if I had a birthday party, I wouldnt have people asking me why they werent invited - why do people feel they have the right to do it for this? ESPECIALLY when inviting them means 100-200 for them to be there - that is why I think its even nervier - every person invited costs a LOT of money!

Maybe we should say - sure I'll invite you, can you please shell out the 100 pp?

LOL - JK - but still...

That would be great though-I am still in shock that people write in with guest on RSVP's when they were invited solo.

MrsFelix Posted: Nov 28, 2005 01:07 PM+

MrsFelix MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2388 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 01:07 PM

Re: Is this rude?

IT'S DEFINITELY RUDE!!!

My SIL was telling me the other day, how she 'invited' this guy she's been 'seeing', BUT they are not 'together' and NOONE has met him!!! Plus, she knows our financial situation!!!

I told FI he better talk to her!!!

aliwnec10 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:01 PM+

aliwnec10 MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2171 WEDDING DATE: Oct 07, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:01 PM

Re: Is this rude?

I know exactly how you feel. I never would have thought that people actually do this... but THEY DO! I can't tell you the amount of people who have asked my FH and i if they were invited. And more often than not, i fumble with what to say next.

Although one particular guy i told right out... NO you're not! I haven't seen the guy since high school... what is he thinking? Of course there are those that i would love to have, but because a little bit of everyone is paying for this wedding, we can't invite everyone.

And YES I DO THINK IT'S VERY RUDE!!! (which is why i fumble with what to say in response... because i'm dumbfounded that people have the nerve to ask that). But then again, it seems that similar things happen to us all the time. One of my FH's friends told him that he better be the best man. Now you don't say that either!!!

blushingbride2006 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:17 PM+

blushingbride2006 MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 384 WEDDING DATE: Jul 29, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:17 PM

Re: Is this rude?

yes it is rude....
you can say you dont know because of all the fam you have to invite, bla bla....
good luck with that!

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:42 PM+

JanuaryBride06 MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 13015 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 1995

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:42 PM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

yes it is rude, and fortunately I haven't had to respond to this question, but if I did, I would say something like 'Well, we haven't finalized the guest list yet.'

I totally was going to post this.

Goldi1021 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:43 PM+

Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:43 PM

Re: Is this rude?

Yes. It is rude to assume anything.

melaniejosh Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:54 PM+

melaniejosh MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 220 WEDDING DATE: Jul 08, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:54 PM

Re: Is this rude?

It is so rude to ask, IMO. One girl said to my FH (they were friends in college and never, ever speak), 'I'd BETTER be invited...' I was like, ha! just for saying that!! nope!

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:55 PM+

lipglossjunky73 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 9125 WEDDING DATE: Jun 17, 2006

Posted: Nov 28, 2005 02:55 PM

Re: Is this rude?

What gets me is this - how will the uninvited act towards me after the wedding? After they found out Joe was invited but not Jane... etc...

When I was a teenager, I asked a friend of the family if I was coming to her wedding, and I knew as soon as it came out of my mouth I was a dolt... and I wasn't invited, and I felt in my little teen brain that maybe I deserved that! LOL - but no one who asked me was a teenager at ALL.... I dunno about people anymore... sheesh!!