etiquette question about kid's B-day party

One of my best friends, who was one of my BM is having her son's first birthday party. The invite says 'No gifts, please.' I really want to get her son a gift! What should I do????

I was thinking of sending something instead of walking in with a gift. Should I do that? Should I just bring a gift anyway? Should I just offer to bring some food or drink for the party? I have some great photos of her and her husband from my wedding. Should I just get her a nice frame and bring it to the party?

I really just want to buy a gift for the baby or maybe for her to use with the baby.

DH says to make sure she will not be offended if we do bring a gift. Knowing her, she is just really interested in spending time with friends and not makingthem feel obligated. She is very sweet and never was materialistic.

What should I do?

Re: etiquette question about kid's B-day party

I would send a gift on the child's actual birthday, but not bring anything to the party.

Re: etiquette question about kid's B-day party

yeah, prob. what I will do!

Re: etiquette question about kid's B-day party

Maybe the child has way too many toys! (Been there) Maybe a gift certificate. I think a pic of her and her husband would be nice any time. Im sure she would appreciate it :)

Re: etiquette question about kid's B-day party

you're clearly close with her since she was in your BP. Honestly, I would call her and ask her why you can't give a gift.

Re: etiquette question about kid's B-day party

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Posted by dleeny

you're clearly close with her since she was in your BP. Honestly, I would call her and ask her why you can't give a gift.

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I probably will, and I assume she will say that seeing her friends is more important, she doesn't want people to spend money on her kid, etc.

I just don't want to pressure her because I know how it feels to get pressure. I told everyone that I didn't want my BMs to pay for my shower and I hated when they tried to pressure me to tell my family to take a contribution from them. But I should point out that this girl spent a lot on my Bach. party and I want to give back to her son!

Re: etiquette question about kid's B-day party

my friend didn't want gifts for her babe's birthday also. it's because she's a clean freak and doesn't want too much clutter around the house. i totally understand but i wanted to get her baby something anyway. after looking through online baby sites or baby stores, etx, i finally settled on making something. i purchased a plain onesie from a baby shop and photo paper from staples. i printed a pic of my pet, coby. the bird to the left, underneath my name, and ironed it onto the onesie and poof! a cute lil onesie. and plus $50. they could always use the moolah.

Re: etiquette question about kid's B-day party

UPDATE: spoke to my friend and it is just what i thought. she didn't want her friends to feel obligated and she felt funny sending invites if people were going to think she expected gifts. she just wants everyone to get together and be there. she won't be offended if anyone brings gifts. so, i'm going to buy something. in fact, i'd buy something nicer for her than for some other friends who always want something!!!