Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

Ok so here the dilemma. When I think of my wedding, I think of it taking place in my church. The one I was raised in. Unfortunately, my priest (father Dan), who is like family to me, was asked to leave and he was stripped of all duties for reasons that we are unaware of (nothing illegal). Something to do with the Bishop (who is not my favorite person right now). So now, they have this new priest in my church who is a PRICK.

Father Dan may be reinstated and MIGHT be able to perform the service but he would not be allowed to do it in the church. Also, we have another priest that is close to our family (Fr. Kevin) who did my grandfather's funeral mass along with my priest. SO, we are sure that Father Kevin and Father Dan will perform the marriage together if Father Dan does not get reinstated. BUT, the service would have to take place at the reception hall.

Please give me feedback about what it was/is like to get married in the hall vs. the church. I don’t know if feel like the marriage is 'real' if its not in the church because I never considered getting married in the hall. I am struggling with this decision. FH doesn’t care either way.

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

well, i haven't gotten married in either but i have to rely on one of your first statements...

'When I think of my wedding, I think of it taking place in my church. The one I was raised in.'

I think you have to have it at the PLACE you want. My MOH wanted our priest, but he was unable to do it. She remained at the church (she only found out a week before). I think if you imagine yourself getting married in the church, you should and have your family friend do it. Or another priest. You'll remember the venue more than the priest, IMO.

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

I can't give any feedback on the diff b/t getting married in a hall vs a church since I haven't been married yet and plan on only doing it once-in a church.

In response to whether your marriage will be 'real' or not - if you are not married in the church-your marriage will not be 'valid' in the eyes of the church. Unless Fr. Kevin obtains a dispensation from the Bishop-which is highly unlikely to be granted-esp. if you and your FI are both Catholic (you are Catholic right?) Also-if you are married by Fr. Dan-your marriage will also not be valid in the eyes of the church.

If being a practicing Catholic in good standing is important to you-I would suggest getting married by Fr. Kevin in a church. Good Luck.

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

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Posted by carlsbride

I can't give any feedback on the diff b/t getting married in a hall vs a church since I haven't been married yet and plan on only doing it once-in a church.

In response to whether your marriage will be 'real' or not - if you are not married in the church-your marriage will not be 'valid' in the eyes of the church. Unless Fr. Kevin obtains a dispensation from the Bishop-which is highly unlikely to be granted-esp. if you and your FI are both Catholic (you are Catholic right?) Also-if you are married by Fr. Dan-your marriage will also not be valid in the eyes of the church.

If being a practicing Catholic in good standing is important to you-I would suggest getting married by Fr. Kevin in a church. Good Luck.

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The problem is that Fr. Kevin is based out of Baltimore and he cannot marry us in a church up in NY. So the only option is getting married by the prick at my church, or Fr. Kevin and the hall

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

Well it's not very nice to keep calling this priest a prick-whether he is or not.
That aside - why can't you be married at your church by Fr. Kevin? We are being married at my FI's church by his friend who is a priest. The Pastor at his church was more than happy to not have to officiate at the wedding. Have you looked into this?

ETA: Fr. Kevin would have to obtain permission-or get some type of paperwork to officiate in a NY diocese - it can be done - it just requires some paperwork.

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

I think you should do it where you always envisioned it...your church.

If you always envisioned a certain priest marrying you and that 'want' out weighs the church...then there is your answer.

I never wanted to get married at a church, always in a garden and that's what I'm getting.

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

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Posted by MrsStefan

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Posted by carlsbride

I can't give any feedback on the diff b/t getting married in a hall vs a church since I haven't been married yet and plan on only doing it once-in a church.

In response to whether your marriage will be 'real' or not - if you are not married in the church-your marriage will not be 'valid' in the eyes of the church. Unless Fr. Kevin obtains a dispensation from the Bishop-which is highly unlikely to be granted-esp. if you and your FI are both Catholic (you are Catholic right?) Also-if you are married by Fr. Dan-your marriage will also not be valid in the eyes of the church.

If being a practicing Catholic in good standing is important to you-I would suggest getting married by Fr. Kevin in a church. Good Luck.

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The problem is that Fr. Kevin is based out of Baltimore and he cannot marry us in a church up in NY. So the only option is getting married by the prick at my church, or Fr. Kevin and the hall

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How come he can't marry you in a church in NY? My FH's uncle is from IL and is saying the mass at our wedding, and my uncle (a deacon in NJ) is doing the vows and stuff. Is there a rule or something that your church says you can't bring in outsiders?

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

I was thinking of getting married at the hall because I was having problems at the time, my deacon wasn't calling me back and the other church I am also a parisoner at was very rude over the phone. And my FH didn't have a church he goes to. The church he was baptised at said yes and now we are getting married there instead of the hall. One of my sister's was married at the swan club, and the ceremony was beautiful. Its up to you if you want a church or do it at the hall.

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

well I'd weight the options- which is MORE important to you? getting married in the church, or getting married by the officiant you feel close to?
In terms of it being 'real.' Your marriage will be official and legal in either place. I am not Catholic, but I know in the Catholic religion your marriage will not be recognized unless you get married in the church. If that is very important to you, then you should get married in the church.
None of us can make this decision for you, you and FH should decide which of these factors means the most to you and go from there.

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

You have FM

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

the priest from baltimore absolutely can marry you in another catholic church. it's just a tiny bit of paperwork.

who's telling you he can't?

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

you can get married in your church and bring in a visiting priest... go to another church and talk to them.. tell them your story... I am sure they would be happy to do that.... otherwise, there is always a deacon...

Re: Church Vs. reception Hall (kinda long)

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Posted by leese

the priest from baltimore absolutely can marry you in another catholic church. it's just a tiny bit of paperwork.

who's telling you he can't? [/QUOT

the problem is that I am Ukrainian Catholic and in my church, the only person that can perform the marriage is the priest at the church, not a guest priest. I really don't want to be married by the new priest. I know the marriage will be 'real' in the eyes of the law but not in the eyes of the Catholic religion. Thats not really what Im concerned about. I mean more of it 'feeling' real. I dont know, its just hard for me to think about getting married at the hall.