Need rabbi and priest that does not require pre cana or dispensation

I just received a call from Monseignor Lisante's office and we are doing interfaith. They told me that
1. We have to have a full day and a half of pre cana.
2. My FI has to seek dispensation from the roman catholic church in rockville centre.
3. MY FI has to file a petition which he must sign which states that he will follow his religion and will raise his children Catholic.

I need a rabbi priest combo that will not demand that my FI raise our children Catholic. I find that really appauling. Really. No rabbi has made that kind of demand. It is between my FI and I and I am just disgusted. We are raising our children Jewish and my FI will sign nothing that states otherwise!
HELP

Re: Need rabbi and priest that does not require pre cana or dispensation

Sorry - those will be the same requirements of any Roman Catholic Church-it is not a priest by priest thing (talking about real priests affiliated with the RC Church-not ex- ones, fake ones, etc.). These are rules set forth by the Church that every Catholic must follow in order for their marriage to be valid in the eyes of the church.

Re: Need rabbi and priest that does not require pre cana or dispensation

carlsbride is 100% right. Unfortunately the Catholic Church requires those things.

Now, if you don't care what the Catholic Church thinks, there are plenty of Protestant ministers who I'm sure would be 100% happy to marry you.

Re: Need rabbi and priest that does not require pre cana or dispensation

You may able to find a priest or rabbi that doesn't require Pre-Cana (some churches don't "make" you do it, but you will not find a priest that will say "don't raise your children Catholic" just as you probably wouldn't find a rabbi that would support you raising a child outside Judaism. A friend of mine and her husband had a beautiful wedding presided by a rabbi and a priest...so it can be done. Although he is Jewish and she wants to raise the kids Catholic... that may be why they were able to have in a church...not sure.
But good luck to you, and try to remember both religions want the couple to be happy even though it probably doesnt' feel that way soemtimes.

Re: Need rabbi and priest that does not require pre cana or dispensation

Also, my friend and her Jewish husband LOVED pre-cana and had a wonderful experience. She said it actualyl helped them solve and address a lot of the issues they had because they were an interfaith couple (issues with in-laws mainly! Good luck to you. . .

Re: Need rabbi and priest that does not require pre cana or dispensation

I agree....Pre Cana is a wonderful experience from what I have heard...I also have interfaith friends who went and loved it. Think of it more like counseling as opposed to anything really religious. If it is important for your FH to have a priest co-officiate at your wedding...I hate to actually say this out loud but he can sign something now stating he will raise his children Catholic...and then just happen to change his mind down the road. The church will not check up on him once you have kids or come back to haunt him if he raises them Jewish.

I am interfaith as well - it is extremely important to me to have my priest marry us. My FH is fine with signing anything we need to in order for my priest to marry us since he knows how much it means to me. My own priest is the one who told us - you'll have to sign something about raising your kids Catholic but you make your own decision when that time comes.

Re: Need rabbi and priest that does not require pre cana or dispensation

I know that the catholic requires that (because I am getting a dispensation too). We are catholic and episcopal.

However, my parents had interfaith at CW post...(mom is catholic and father is jewish). They did not sign any paperwork stating that the children had to be raised catholice. They did have to go through many classes though...

Good luck to you.