Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

I have read many threads on the board regarding you ladies' FMIL some of them have been horror stories, but most of them have been full of good tidings. My FH's mother died in 1996 we have decided to honor her at the ceremony, but sometimes I feel really bad that I don't have a FMIL. I think it would be nice to have a second mom, someone else to go shopping with, to share grandchildren, and having extra hands and help to finance and submit ideas for our wedding. Sometimes I wonder if she would have even liked me or how we would have gotten along. FH says that we are a lot alike though. I know it has to hurt him that his mom won't be there which is why I suggested mentioning her in the program, having the empty rose chair, and having a moment of silence at the ceremony. IDK anyone else in my situation?

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

I feel for you & have a similar situation :(

My dad passed away 9 years ago and I have the 'I can't walk down the isle with my Father' thoughts all the time. My FH never met him and it kills me to think what it would have been like with him there or what my wedding day is going to be like, not having him there.
That is life though and you make due what god has dealt you.
Your FMIL will be there watching everything that day, I truly believe that & I am 100% sure that it will be the same for me.

Hope that helps if any

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

im so sorry -

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

---

Posted by D's Girl

I feel for you & have a similar situation :(

My dad passed away 9 years ago and I have the 'I can't walk down the isle with my Father' thoughts all the time. My FH never met him and it kills me to think what it would have been like with him there or what my wedding day is going to be like, not having him there.
That is life though and you make due what god has dealt you.
Your FMIL will be there watching everything that day, I truly believe that & I am 100% sure that it will be the same for me.

Hope that helps if any

---

You are very strong and brave.......I am sure your father would be proud!

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

I am soo sorry sweetheart!
But she will be there in spirit, I don't know you personally, but from the boards you are a sweet and kind person and I'm sure your FMIL(while she's not with us she still is you FMIL ) is watching down on her son and future daughter in law and smiling

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

---

Posted by D's Girl

I feel for you & have a similar situation :(

My dad passed away 9 years ago and I have the 'I can't walk down the isle with my Father' thoughts all the time. My FH never met him and it kills me to think what it would have been like with him there or what my wedding day is going to be like, not having him there.
That is life though and you make due what god has dealt you.
Your FMIL will be there watching everything that day, I truly believe that & I am 100% sure that it will be the same for me.

Hope that helps if any

---

Your father is also looking down on you and smiling...I'm sorry you have to go through this time without him....but I'm sure he'd be soo proud of you......And when its your special day I'll say a prayer that you'll be strong when you walk down that aisle

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

i'm sorry to hear that for you and your FH

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

2Be1,

I am in your situation also... my FH's mother died over 15 years ago when he was just 15. He was very close with her and his grandmother (his mother's mom). I wish I had a FMIL to plan things with and to talk with. I really wish I had met them both because his mother and maternal grandmother were the side of the family that really shaped him as a person and his beliefs, value systems, etc. are very much a result of his mother. His father is a great guy, but i would have loved to have met his mom and found out what FH was like as a little kid and someone to show me pictures, etc. etc. Thank god I have my own mom who has been so great with everything. FH and I are going to be honoring his mom in our wedding: we are having the Mass said in her memory as well as leaving roses at Mary's altar in her memory.

Hang in there... I know how it feels!

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

---

Posted by Nina

---

Posted by D's Girl

I feel for you & have a similar situation :(

My dad passed away 9 years ago and I have the 'I can't walk down the isle with my Father' thoughts all the time. My FH never met him and it kills me to think what it would have been like with him there or what my wedding day is going to be like, not having him there.
That is life though and you make due what god has dealt you.
Your FMIL will be there watching everything that day, I truly believe that & I am 100% sure that it will be the same for me.

Hope that helps if any

---

Your father is also looking down on you and smiling...I'm sorry you have to go through this time without him....but I'm sure he'd be soo proud of you......And when its your special day I'll say a prayer that you'll be strong when you walk down that aisle

---

Thank you
You guys are the best

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

---

Posted by D's Girl

I feel for you & have a similar situation :(

My dad passed away 9 years ago and I have the 'I can't walk down the isle with my Father' thoughts all the time. My FH never met him and it kills me to think what it would have been like with him there or what my wedding day is going to be like, not having him there.
That is life though and you make due what god has dealt you.
Your FMIL will be there watching everything that day, I truly believe that & I am 100% sure that it will be the same for me.

Hope that helps if any

---

I have the same situation as you - my father passed away and never met my FH. My uncle/godfather is walking me down, but it wont be the same.

We can be strong for each other

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

Thanks so much for your support ladies

Meaghan729 and D's Girl
I know that your dad's will be there in SPIRIT walking right next to you.

donegal419, my FH is very similar to your in the fact that his mom greatly shaped him to be the man that he is today too

I just wish I could say thank you to her because you raised a GOOD man

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

I'm in a similar situation as well... FH's father passed away two months before we met. It's kinda '5 people you meet in heaven'-ish, but at the time his father passed, he was living in Europe, so afterwards he moved home, adn we ultimately met.

Its tough not having met the most influential person in his life, but just hearing about him from everyone I've met - from Fh to random church members - i feel like I know him. I talk to him sometimes - I really believe that they are around and with us. It's really hard on Fh knowing his father won' t be with us physically when we get married, but the weekend before he proposed to me, he went to his fathers grave and told him he was going to ask me, which i think is really cute.

We are going to mention him most likely on the programs, and (as we saw at a friends wedding) he will probably say a word or two about his father and light a candle at the sweetheart table in his honor and memory. It was really sweet at my friends wedding, and we both definitely liked it.

So yeah... sorry this is long, but it hits home :o)

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

---

Posted by Meaghan729

---

Posted by D's Girl

I feel for you & have a similar situation :(

My dad passed away 9 years ago and I have the 'I can't walk down the isle with my Father' thoughts all the time. My FH never met him and it kills me to think what it would have been like with him there or what my wedding day is going to be like, not having him there.
That is life though and you make due what god has dealt you.
Your FMIL will be there watching everything that day, I truly believe that & I am 100% sure that it will be the same for me.

Hope that helps if any

---

I have the same situation as you - my father passed away and never met my FH. My uncle/godfather is walking me down, but it wont be the same.

We can be strong for each other

---

Yes we can

I am having my 2 brothers walk me down the isle

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

I understand how hard that must be for you...I'm goin through somehting similar. My mom passed away when I was young, and although Dad remarried, my step-mom is not into wedding stuff at all...she didn't even want to marry my dad, jsut live w/ him, and her son actually got married my mail (he lives in Colorado-they don't have a lot of churches by him) my step mom can't understand why I want to have a big wedding, and is trying to persuade my dad from paying for it. She also is not a big fan of the whole planning of it...she said she doesn't understand why someone would 'waste so much of their time' planning one day.

she's a very nice woman, and I respect her a lot, but at this time, it would be really nice to have a mother to help me plan stuff and get her opinion, and have a mother be genuinly intersted. I can't help but wonder if my birth mother were alive, if she would be more into it and supportive.

We will be honoring her with a moment of silence and a candle lighting before the ceremony starts, also, her sister is a minister and will be marrying us, and has told us she plans to incorporate my mother's memory in the ceremony.

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

so sorry to hear you are sad.

try not to let it make you sad. just think that when you and fh get married that the combination of the two families will hopefully create one big family and perhaps there will be an aunt on his side or older cousin who you can get to know. and if not--you can create your own big unit and traditions.

hope you can make it through without being too sad.

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

I'm not in that situation, my FI is. My mother died in January '02 unexpectedly after FI and I were dating after only 4 months!! It was tough, but I know where you are coming from and have so much respect for you and your relationship ::hugs::

We are having a memorial candle on the altar for my mother, mentioning her (and many others we have lost) in our programs, as well as hanging pictures from my bouquet.. I know that if I were to look out at my family & friends and see an empty chair I would have a nervous breakdown right then and there at my wedding. I think it it a beautiful gesture, it is just too new for me to handle so we are doing something different. Here's the picture thing I was talking about.. Hope this helps!

• 

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

---

Posted by soon2bmrsVPT

I'm not in that situation, my FI is. My mother died in January '02 unexpectedly after FI and I were dating after only 4 months!! It was tough, but I know where you are coming from and have so much respect for you and your relationship ::hugs::

We are having a memorial candle on the altar for my mother, mentioning her (and many others we have lost) in our programs, as well as hanging pictures from my bouquet.. I know that if I were to look out at my family & friends and see an empty chair I would have a nervous breakdown right then and there at my wedding. I think it it a beautiful gesture, it is just too new for me to handle so we are doing something different. Here's the picture thing I was talking about.. Hope this helps!

---

Oh bless your hear that is such a SWEET idea, I have never seen it before.

Re: Feeling somewhat bad No FMIL

That is so sweet, I have to do that too!