changing your last name?

is anyone not changing their last name after they are married? i have always grown up with a long polish last name, and i couldnt wait to get married to change it. but now the time has come, i dont want to. i feel like my whole identity will be going away when i change it. i also dont feel like going thru the paper work and i am moving overseas about 3 weeks after the wedding, so i doubt i will have time to change it.

FH says he doesnt mind if i dont change it, but i know that his family might mind.

is anyone not changing their name?

Re: changing your last name?

I am changing my last name. I can't wait to be Mrs. ***! I can't wait to say it, I can't wait to write it, and I can't wait until people call me it.

I know a lot of people that say they don't want to change their last names though. I work with 2 woman who still have their last name from before they got married. A friend of mine who just got married last month does not want to change her last name either. I think it is a common thing for girls to not want to change their last name.

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Re: changing your last name?

I'm changing my name to his, but keeping my middle name (instead of using my maiden name as the middle name). My father has three sons to carry on the family name, so I don't feel bad about the decision.

Re: changing your last name?

I am contemplating using an 'hyphen' with my maiden name and my FH last name.

Re: changing your last name?

I am definitely hyphenating.... Not a big fan of old school traditions like that. I especially don't enjoy the Mrs. John Doe title .I feel like we've come too far for that girls!

Re: changing your last name?

NOT CHANGING. KEEPING MINE JUST THE WAY IT IS!

Re: changing your last name?

Personally I can't wait to change my last name! My full name doesn't fit on my license! And it's really NOT that long.

Re: changing your last name?

I am going to hyphenate.

Re: changing your last name?

I was thinking about hyphenating but I think I will just add his to mine w/out the hyphen thing....so I guess I'll have 2 last names...oh well I def. WILL not get rid of my name, it is part of me and it always will be.
XOXOXOXO
Kitty

Re: changing your last name?

I didn't change it.

Re: changing your last name?

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Posted by mskittynj

I was thinking about hyphenating but I think I will just add his to mine w/out the hyphen thing....so I guess I'll have 2 last names...oh well I def. WILL not get rid of my name, it is part of me and it always will be.
XOXOXOXO
Kitty

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I've been thinking about doing this, but my name would be SO long!
MyFirst (9 letters) MyMiddle (5) MyLast (7) HisLast (11) = 32 letters, total! To write my name out without my middle would still be 27!

Re: changing your last name?

I'm going to have the best of both worlds. I'm going to hyphenate, so that I can carry on my grandpa's last name and still have my husband's

Re: changing your last name?

I'm keeping my last name. I always liked my name and always will. He isn't happy about it and his family doesn't know.
I'm however to make him happy, signing with his last name on the wedding license. But I'm not changing my SS number or my drivers license. That all it really is.

Re: changing your last name?

I completely understand how you feel - I felt the same way. I always thought I'd change my name, but then when it came time to actually do it I panicked a little. So I decided to keep my maiden name as a second middle name. No Hyphen. Now I'm RCCG.

Re: changing your last name?

hi-

This is funny, because I fee the EXACT same way, except my husband has a Polish last name and on top of feeling as though I'll lost my entire Irish identity by taking it i really just don't like it to be perfectly honest.

Even though I'm a 100% irish, i dont have an O'...or a Mc... (they actually dropped the O when they immigrated) but a rather Waspy almost English last name like Phillips or Thomas. I love that i have such and easy and pretty last name. By comparison, my husbands last name is extremely ethinc sounding and is constantly being mispelled and mispronounced which would and does irriate me. And although i can certainly give any children we have my maiden name as a first name i'm just not ready to give it up. And i consider myself fairly traditional. I wound't mind being Mrs. ___ except that i really just dont like his name. I 'm knowing its petty and selfish but its the way i feel.

For now, I'm keeping my last name at work. And on all of our legal documents I have both names so its Heather Middle Name Maiden Name Married Name. Its tough, becasue i know it hurts his feelings. I'm trying to make some comprimises like when we meet new people just going by my married name but its tough.

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Re: changing your last name?

I'm changing my last name legally, but at work I'll unoficially use both last names without the hyphen - so it will be like Liza Smith Jones

Re: changing your last name?

I'm changing my name becasue I feel we are becoming a family identified as one unit. My opinion on not changing your name what happens when you have children you all won't be identified with one name. You will be mrs. x and kids and dh will be y.

Just my opinion. Each person has to do what they are comfortable with.

Re: changing your last name?

I didn't think my last name could become more ethnically identifiable than it already was but it has. But now that I am a newlywed, I enjoy hearing my students (and anyone else who knows my new last name) calling me by my new last name. There was never a question that I wouldn't change it. I wish to have consistency when identifying all of my immediate family members now and in the future.

I had an argument with DH's aunt who implied that taking a man's last name is an archaic practice. I told her that my maiden name is not what identifies me as a woman or a human being or even a wife and a mother in the future. It is the past and continuing love and nurturing of my family that identifies who I am in my heart and my soul. A name, IMO is a collection of letters - a symbol if you will.

My father, if alive today would agree that a man's legacy is not in his name, but in the actions and behaviors of those he left behind. I am not less of a legacy to him than my brother just because our last names are no longer the same. We are equal and if we raise our children with as much love and respect as our parents raised us, then that would be the true test of my Dad's (and Mom's)legacy.