Strippers and Stuff

Both FH and I are having surprise bachelor and bachelorette parties, but the issue came up the other night about wheather or not to have strippers at the parties. My FH told my sister that by means is she allowed to hire a stripper or take me to a strip club. In fact he told her, no men are to be present at my bachelorette, besides my father. My FH was really offended by the idea and gets angry just talking about it.

Well, I heard from my brother that my FH's best friend is planning on getting a stripper for his bachelor party. I don't really mind strippers that much. I'd prefer they go without, but as long as my FH behaves it's ok. My only two problems with having the stripper is if I can't have one, why can he? I know he doesn't know yet and I'm not going to tell him, but I hate this double standard crap.

Also, I talked to his friends about the stripper and requested they do something else. They told me to stop trying to control his life, that I was being stupid and that I need to let him just be a guy for one night. See, FH's friends don't like me much 'cause they think I'm the reason he's stuck with 2 kids and wife before 25. So they do and say things just to piss me off. My FH is aware of the problem, but insists they will 'get over it'. Only now I feel like their going to lead my FH to do something he's going to regret.

I think I'm just going to let everything be for now and see what happens, but it just really makes me angry that my feelings aren't even taken into consideration.

Re: Strippers and Stuff

This double standard thing is WRONG! If you want strippers at your party, have them, but tell him about it, but dont hide it because that sort of makes it worse IMO.

Re: Strippers and Stuff

His friends sound like real losers, IMO. Your FH shouldn't say 'they'll get over it' when they treat you badly, he should stand up for you more...

As far as the strippers, if he is getting one, you should be able to also. You say he doesn't know about it..well, tell your friends to 'surprise' you, too.

Re: Strippers and Stuff

His friends sound VERY immature. I don't really think it's a double standard because your FH doesn' KNOW about it. I wouldn't worry that your FH would do anything though, he loves you and your 2 sons and he wouldn't do anything to risk that!

Re: Strippers and Stuff

I think the double standard is wrong. What I think is worse is your FH's friends complete lack of respect for you. You are NOT the reason he's 'stuck with 2 kids and wife before 25'. I'm pretty sure he is old enough to make up his own mind. I don't blame you for being angry at all.

Re: Strippers and Stuff

It is a double standard and not right.

Plus I've heard many stories (from guy friends who were there and experienced this first hand) of strippers at bachelor parties who did a lot more than strip. So I guess I'd put my foot down.

Re: Strippers and Stuff

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Posted by leighdvm

His friends sound like real losers, IMO. Your FH shouldn't say 'they'll get over it' when they treat you badly, he should stand up for you more...

As far as the strippers, if he is getting one, you should be able to also. You say he doesn't know about it..well, tell your friends to 'surprise' you, too.

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Well said!

Re: Strippers and Stuff

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Posted by leighdvm

His friends sound like real losers, IMO. Your FH shouldn't say 'they'll get over it' when they treat you badly, he should stand up for you more...

As far as the strippers, if he is getting one, you should be able to also. You say he doesn't know about it..well, tell your friends to 'surprise' you, too.

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I agree-

Re: Strippers and Stuff

I've been thinking I should tell my FH about the stripper and use the double standard thing to get him to get his friends to cancel their plans. I don't want a stripper, so that's not it at all. I just don't want him to think it's ok for him and not ok for me. Plus, I want his friends to understand that my opinion does matter.