tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

ok, so I am 3 days in and with our honeymoon in front and not behind us (June-Germany-World Cup YAY) we have returned to 'reality' very abruptly. Already back at work and living life as we were before the wedding. I sometimes have to remind myself that we are, in fact, married LOL. I moved into his apt, so I am still trying to find a place for myself. I guess it has been a little anti climactic in that sense.

the day of was this beautiful whirlwind...we went out east on Monday and just vegged (Danfords is a very nice hotel) and Wednesday Leo was already back to work. It's a strange time...

anyone go through this..and I the only one!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

I think it's perfectly normal to feel this way. I myself didn't have an easy time with the transition. My first month of newlywed life was anything but what I imagined it to be. Especially since we didn't live together before hand. Don't sweat it really...... you just got married, definately a life changing event and of course it will take some time to get used to.

I've been married now almost 6 months (can't believe how time has flowen!) and sometimes I have to ask DH if this past year really did happen and are we really married?

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

Jess,

I couldn't believe it that a month has passed since my wedding. I moved to a different state and have been busy changing my name, getting a new license, changing over so much stuff. Plus, we've never lived on our own (besides college) so we had to buy and assemble our WHOLE condo.

It's been a whirlwind but it's been sad at times. I am coming from being homesick, but the best part of all of this...is that I really like living with my DH. He makes me want to clean up after myself and I can feel us starting to gel a bit.

I'm right in the middle of all this, so I don't know if I am the best to answer it....but all I know is that each day it gets better and better.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

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Posted by leese
but all I know is that each day it gets better and better.

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Definately.... also gets easier!

We're still in the process of setting up our home, and it's been like Leese said a whirlwind.

Even though we both lived on our own before, we both came from one bedroom apartments with not much stuff to a 10 room house that's alot of work! I also made DH get rid of alot of stuff as he cleaned out and was selling his condo a couple of months ago.

I'm excited by this part, turning our house into our home :)

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

I was crying a couple days non stop, but it ended about two weeks after marriage

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

the other thing i am suggesting, other than the review, is to write a recap.

i'm starting that this weekend so i can remember everything that happened at our wedding... that way, the photos and video can help me remember and so much can be written down and recorded.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

ours was fine- but we lived together before and went on our HM- then had X-mas before I had to go back to work

we get along much better then before and it feels different to be married- but better

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

It does get better. We lived together before we were married. However when he first moved in, although we got along really well, there were some times when it was tough. You have to get used to having this person there 24/7. As time passes, it becomes easier and easier. Now I can't imagine not having DH there.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

This weekend we are approaching our 1 month & I can't believe our wedding was a month ago! We have truly only been in reality for 2 weeks now & it still seems weird. I have been keeping myself busy changing my name & looking at proofs!

This is the first time that my DH are living on our own, so setting up our house is so much fun! I still have stuff to move from my parents, but I know I will get it done in time! I am so happy to be living with my DH & could not be happier coming home to him every night!

We have began to really gel together & make 'us' our own family. It is the best feeling & knowing that this is only the beginning & we have so many memories ahead of us! Our wedding was our starting point & now we have a lifetime to go!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

It certainly is a strange time. What's made the transition a bit easier is that DH is so busy with school and work that I get a bit of alone time which helps a lot (before getting married, though I lived with my family, I had A LOT of private time).

But the first month of being married was actually the hardest part of our relationship. Dan really had to get me to see that everything was 'ours' now, especially with the apartment, since he moved in before I did. But things have truly gotten better since that first month. I still like my alone time, but I'm happier - certainly happier than I was during the engagement!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

I still dont feel any different.

Everyone says 'Oh how does it feel married woman?'
I think 'the same'

Wife doesnt feel different than girlfriend or fiancee to me. At first that bothered me but Im over it.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

It's funny...there isn't a day that goes by that either of us doesn't get asked the question....

'So, how's married life?'

We tell them everytime...No change. We lived together beforehand, etc. The only change is that I've taken on a new last name...and honestly...I haven't 'officially' taken the name yet because I haven't been over to SS office & DMV yet.

But...like Beth said...we're definitely closer. It's a strange yet comforting feeling knowing that he's your spouse. Somehow everything is so .

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

Dh and I didn't live together before we were married, and just like you I moved into his apt. I have to say the 1 1/2 months was hell. We were fighting over everything and anything. As time went on things got better and now it feels so natural and as if we have been doing it forever.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

we will be living together for a year in june but in our place since just a week before our wedding. it so far is the best!!!!! we just look at each other and giggle and say 'i cant believe we have our own place' we have never lived away from our homes before.

however he did start helping at first with cleaning and stuff. well see if this continues.

otherwise it is the whole 'putting our money together' thing that has been a struggle more for me then him. I have to get use to the idea that the money is 'our money'

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

I lived with my husband before the wedding, so we had already worked out the living together thing -- which was pretty easy for us, thought I know it can be quite hard at times.

I am a total slob and it drives my husband nuts.

I also think it is hard to move into some else's place. When you move into a neutral place it might be easier.

What I noticed after the wedding is that I really missed wedding planing. I was good at it!



That went on for a while -- I had stuff to do of course, (thank yous, albums etc) at well as keeping up with friends etc.

Now we are about to close on a co-op and that will take up a lot of my time, which might be nice.

My (totally unsolicited) advice is

1. Realize that it won't all be done in 1 week. It takes time to move into sync in someone.
2. Be flexible -- there often is really a right or wrong way to do something.
3. Go on dates.
4. keep up with friends, it can be easy to loose touch with people.
5. Have joint and private hobbies. I think a little time a part can be good.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

This has been the best year of my life...but it's funny. He lived on his own before the wedding; I lived at home. I was a little 'homesick' when we got back from the HM...don't get me wrong--I was elated to be married, but I missed my parents a little. I fell in love with him even more when one night after we got back, I started crying a little, saying I felt overwhelmed by everything and that I missed them...and he just understood. He didn't call me silly or weird or ask me why...he just got it. And since then I have felt perfectly happy and content...and our place is very much home.

Edit: reading everyone's opinions is truly touching....

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

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Posted by lanabean

This has been the best year of my life...but it's funny. He lived on his own before the wedding; I lived at home. I was a little 'homesick' when we got back from the HM...don't get me wrong--I was elated to be married, but I missed my parents a little. I fell in love with him even more when one night after we got back, I started crying a little, saying I felt overwhelmed by everything and that I missed them...and he just understood. He didn't call me silly or weird or ask me why...he just got it. And since then I have felt perfectly happy and content...and our place is very much home.

Edit: reading everyone's opinions is truly touching....

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It's been a month since we've been married and i feel exactly the same way... i really miss my parents, especially my mom! I tell this to DH all the time, and he totally understands and tells me that it's all the process of getting used to being away from home and being married. There's so much to look forward too!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

Absolutely! This feeling lessens over time, too. Now my mom is like....you didn't call me for a few days! I miss you!!!!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

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Posted by lanabean

Absolutely! This feeling lessens over time, too. Now my mom is like....you didn't call me for a few days! I miss you!!!!

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Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

thanks girls. it is very comforting to hear that is is pretty common to feel like this. I really don't like it at all.It's like I got cold feet AFTER the wedding..

I am really hopefull that things will return to normal and we 'syncronize' again in time for our honeymoon.

It's funny how we don't hear much about this in planning...we plan every last detail of the wedding, but get blind-sided by the change in our lives. I guess it's hard b/c the change is so subtle...not anything you can put your finger on...just kind of in the air between you.

whoa ok, going a lil deep lol but this is very helpful to talk to you girls.

thanks