My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

Okay, so FH and I are getting married in a church, but decided to just have the ceremony and no mass. FH's parents are very religous and wants us to have a mass on a Saturday afternoon, but FH and I made it clear that we weren't doing that. Well, today I was put into a corner by FMIL and she basically went on about how disappointed she was, how she thinks the only reason FH doesn't want a mass is b/c I said so and that they would cut back on paying for some of the church flowers if we didn't have them. WHAT NERVE!!! And I was soooooooo shocked! I've known FH and his parents for 8 years and couldn't believe it. I said we made our decision and if they were gonna threatened us about not paying for the church then we would pay the $250 for all the church flowers (jokes on her; she probably thought it cost more). The only good part of the story was FH totally defended me and agreed with me! I love him, but am very hurt by his mother's reaction towards me, especially since we've always had a good rapport. What should I do now? Talk to her about other stuff in general like nothing happened? HELP!

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

Yep just keep on moving on with the plans. This is your decision right and FH defended you so move on with everything.

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

I'm not sure if you should go on like nothing happened espeically if you feel hurt by it. I think that you should discuss this w/ your FH and see what would be the best way for you to approach the situation. I don't think that it should go by and not be discussed. FMIL should no how you feel. Good Luck.

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

Yes, just keep on trucking with your plans!

My FMIL does that to me ALL the time, threatens to take thousands of dollars away from the wedding if we don't do what she wants on every little detail... the stinky part for you is that, unlike me with my FMIL, you two used to have a nice relationship-- that's terrible b/c now you feel as though it's not the same anymore!

FH and I make our own decisions, discuss our own plans and we NEVER talk to FMIL about them on our own... sometimes she will ask and we try to avoid it, if she finally gets us to a point where we have to answer we give as little details as possible!!! OR say we are not sure yet and then just go on our own to book/plan... by the time the day comes or things are booked, it's too late to change! It works for us, try it!! But I'm sorry you have to deal with this and do what we do!!

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

Don't let her bother you. She knows how you feel, and now you can move on. Don't let her put a damper on your day.

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

I am sorry this happened to you. Remember though, this day is about you and your FH. The mass or cereemony is for the two of you and no one else. You choose how you want to be married.

I am so happy to hear that your FH defended you.

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

I am sorry that you had to deal with that, but remember this is your and FH's Day PERIOD!!!!.

You can't make everyone happy no matter how much you try, nor should you feel the need to.

You do what you want and I am sure that she will get over it

The Flower comment, yeah a little much but I am sure it was just out of the moment and she did not mean it in a harsh way.

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

Since you are going to know this woman for the rest of your life I think that it is very important to clear the air. However, that does not mean you have to give into her whims. Kindly remind her that this day is for you and your FH and ask her to please respect your decisions. Remember, she is family now and family always needs to be handled with grace because you do not want to start a family fued. If she does not want to listen to you then you move on, you did the grown-up thing. GOOD LUCK

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

i am glad to see your fh stuck up for you. me being who i am i would go on like nothing happened and do what i wanted how i wanted. i got into a fight tonight with 2 of my bm's. my feelings are you don't like it oh well its my day. don't wanna be in it or invovled the way i'd want my specail byeeee se you there as a guest if you want. i am not gonna let ANYONE hurt my feelings or talk me into something i don't want to do.

so its your day do what you want how you want.

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

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Posted by HenryAlba07

I am sorry this happened to you. Remember though, this day is about you and your FH. The mass or cereemony is for the two of you and no one else. You choose how you want to be married.

I am so happy to hear that your FH defended you.

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Perfectly said...it is you & fh's day...happy to hear the fhubby defended you!

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

I've spoke to my FMIL once since she did something like that to me. It's a very hard situation. Especially when FMIL acts like nothing happened and you still want to yell at her. GOod luck!

Re: My FMIL Attacked me!...a little long :(

I'm sorry you had to go through that- it's a tough situation. But it's great that FH stuck up for you. I'd definitely talk to him and see what he thinks. I think you're right to let her know that she upset you, but you do have to deal with her forever, so you want to be careful about it. See what FH has to say- he'll probably know the best way to handle her. Good luck!