What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

My FH and I are meeting with the priest for the first time this weekend. I've spoken to him briefly on the phone a couple of times to reserve the date, but due to scheduling difficulties, we haven't been able to meet until now.

What typically happens at this first meeting? What questions do the priests ask? What should we ask the priest that you wish you had asked? We would like a Mass rather than a ceremony, so are there any additional questions asked for that?

Thanks!!

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

When we went, the priest basically asked us personal questions, when/how/where we met, what we do, etc. He asked us if we made all of our sacriments, if yes, where. He told us all the documentation we would need from the Parishes we grew up in verifying our sacriments. He also asked us to get affidavits signed saying that we were Catholic and something else...it just had to be signed by someone who knew us for 2 years. He was really nice and it was no big deal. On the second meeting he spoke to us separately asking us if we were there voluntarily, if we want kids, etc. The beginning is all just preliminary stuff. We are having a mass and nothing was involved insofar as picking readings or anything. He also reviewed the rules of the church with regard to the vendors, time of arrival, throwing rose petals, etc.

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

Well when we went he asked us the date, etc... He gave us a book to read with the ceremony outline in it. He separated us while 1 read the book, the other was interrogated [lol] He just asked us like 7 questions like will your children be of this religion, will you NOT commit adultery.. silly questions like that.. Nothing crazy. My friend said her priest asked if they had sex... MY priest did NOT! Thank GOD!!!! He pretty much just reserved the date for us, filled out whatever forms we had to fill out to be sent out to the diocese.

We're having a full mass also, he will ask you about it if you forget I'm sure... It's really no big deal, I was worried too but it was pretty straight forward... Best of Luck!!!!!!

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

FH and I are both Catholics that are practicing, invovled in the parish and have all our sacraments... that definitely speeds up the process and the paperwork! If this is not yoour case (particualrly inter-faith, even Christian, but non-Catholic) involves a dispensation and other paperwork... your priest will explain everything you need to do.

Basically, we set the date and time of our Mass. The priest then asked basic information: dates of birth, parents names and religion, sacraments received and where, our occupations, etc. etc. the priest will then ask you to leave the room and ask your FH questions and then when he's done, you go in. BASIC questions just ensuring that you are not being coerced into the marriage, etc. etc. NOTHING to worry about.

He also went over the Pre-Cana requirements, how to go abotu setting that up and our options there, rules regarding wedding day logistics (flowers, photo, etc.)

That was a bout it. We set our rehearsal time with the parish secretary. Try to get ALL your questions answered at your first meeting. Priests are very busy people and depending on his schedule, it can be very difficult to set up another time when you would like it.

GOOD LUCK!

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

Also noticed you want a Mass:

1. ask about any outside people you may want to have participate and if that's allowed.

we are having a friend that is a priest coming into to marry us..there is paperwork invovled for the visiting priest.

ask about altar servers... i am having young children in MY family be my altar servers... the church needs to know this so they don't schedule their servers for your Mass

ask about musicians... i am bringing in my friend who is an organist and another friend who sings... you will need to let the church musicians know they are not needed if you are not using them.

ask about any other little details you might want at your Mass:
Eucharistic ministers (I am adding 2 friends that are Eucharistic ministers to serve the wine)
Flowers to the Blessed Mother: if you want that, is it a custom they accommodate?
Unity candle: if you want this, specify... some parishes do not allow it as it is technically not a part of the Nuptial Mass

Timing: how early can you get there for pics? how late can you stay for pics?
Flowers, aisle runner, etc. etc.

most priests will address most of your questions... they've seen it all and then some!

Sorry this is so long... but these are questiosn I had and got answered.

GOOD LUCK!

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

this is great! thanks for the info - i also needed it.

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

When F nd I went, he asked a lot of questions. At first it was really akward, talking to the priest outside of a coffessional, but Father O'Farrell made us really comfortable. He asked us how we met, how did FH know that he wanted to marry me, was it love at first site, etc. He also asked what kind of a home we wanted?( i.e. loving, caring, etc)
Then he had us split up and asked all sorts of personal questions, and then compared the answers, I guess to make sure we knew what we were getting into and that there were no skeletons in our closets that the other didn't know about.

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

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Posted by Audreygirl

this is great! thanks for the info - i also needed it.

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Same here... if the priest ever calls me back!!!

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

No need to worry! It is painless. He separated us and I was a little nervous but the questions are actually funny; like whether or not we are related in any way or if we plan to cheat on each other! I felt like asking him if anyone ever says yes! He will tell you what documents you need, such as baptismal cert., etc. A few weeks after that we had to take a test called the focus test which is no big deal either but it was 156 questions!

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

expect to get questioned individually

Re: What to Expect at 1st Meeting with Priest?

When we went he talked to both of us, we werent secretive about the fact that we live together...and he never really said anything about it. He just asked us questions like how did we meet, where, etc. Then asked us about how involved our families have been in t he planning process, if we completed all of our sacraments, etc. That was really it.

We were so worried about our meeting b/c we do live together but to be quite honest it was no where near what we thought it was going ot be.