Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

So yesterday I ask my dad if he can start to put his guest list together (he's inviting people he works with which if each one brings their wife, Gf, etc. will be about 30 people total, and i already factored in some of their friends that I know so it would be more around 40)

I was trying not to have more than 80 guests total on my side so I can keep costs down. (I'm paying for all guests on my side) He was saying 'oh if you need the money for it I told you I'd pay', but i don't want him taking out loans he's not in the position to pay for all guests and half the vendors. Hes already paying for half of what all the vendors will cost and my dress.

I start telling my dad just don't go over that number and he starts saying well I might have to if I end up inviting more. MORE???? I already have about 40 total of just your guests!!!

I don't even think he knows the names of half these people oh and to make it even worse he says 'Oh don't worry I'll just hand them the invites don't need their addresses and names on it.'

I'm like thinking um what is this invite any random person to my wedding are you kidding me.

So I nicely say daddy 'you'll have 40 people there of your your guests if they all say yes.' I do need their names and addresses, etc. because even if you do just hand it to them I need to keep a list of who will be coming and they need to RSVP back. HE says well can't we just call people and invite them we don't have to send invites

I didn't even mention by the way I need their names for the placecards, because knowing him he'll say what do you need those for he probably thinks it will just be free for all sit where you want.
I know I can't really blam,e him for thinking this way, hes never been to a wedding here, just maybe a couple of party type dinners after a couple got married at city hall. And he and my mom didnt have a big wedding. They just got married in Italy when they were immigrating here.


I just have a feeling this is going to be him inviting people and not even telling me and then I won't know who is actually coming. OMG I couldnt sleep half the night because I was so stressed over this.

Oh and this all started because I asked for addresses for the STDs I'm going to be mailing to which he said oh you dont have to send them that its ok.

My mom then agreed about this she was like send them to your friends coworkers, etc. don't worry about his coworkers(I guess this is probably better since this way he can't start inviting people now)

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent.

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

my dad is the same way.

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

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Posted by Mandyin2007

my dad is the same way.

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How do you deal?

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

Men are a bit silly somtimes. My dad has added a bunch of people also but he is good and got me all of my addresses. I started asking for address from him about 1 year ago.

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

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Posted by FDWedding07

Men are a bit silly somtimes. My dad has added a bunch of people also but he is good and got me all of my addresses. I started asking for address from him about 1 year ago.

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see that wolud be great, but to tell me oh you can just call them, like I mean this isnt just a random dinner party. placecards have to be made and final count needs to be in before the wedding.

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

anyone else have any advice on how to deal with this?

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

Try to explain the situation to him.. tell him why you need their names and addresses, and say you don't feel comfortable inviting people if you don't even know their names! Just ask him to brainstorm who he'd like to invite and then make a list. Tell him that you'd love to invite his friends, but you want to do it the right way so that no one feels disrespected or unwelcome.

Sorry if that doesn't help much!

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

Explain to him that you feel uncomfortable inviting people to your wedding that way. I am sure some people would be slightly insulted if their invitations weren't addressed and just handed to them...maybe he will come around. Good Luck!! Parents get ya crazy sometimes...but thank god we have them!

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

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Posted by JMM7876

Explain to him that you feel uncomfortable inviting people to your wedding that way. I am sure some people would be slightly insulted if their invitations weren't addressed and just handed to them...maybe he will come around. Good Luck!! Parents get ya crazy sometimes...but thank god we have them!

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i agree!!! so sorry honey

Re: Guest List Vent **Warning Long**

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

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Posted by JMM7876

Explain to him that you feel uncomfortable inviting people to your wedding that way. I am sure some people would be slightly insulted if their invitations weren't addressed and just handed to them...maybe he will come around. Good Luck!! Parents get ya crazy sometimes...but thank god we have them!

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i agree!!! so sorry honey

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I've tried that he just doesn't understand.