Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

An offer was accepted on a house yesterday. I thought my dad would be thrilled. His initial reaction was shock...he didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

Then he started screaming at me that I'm a little-know-it all and I obviously don't need his help (I think he wanted to do the negioating for us). Then he told DH that if I fall on my @ss, he's not going to help pick me up. Who says that to their child?

Then his girlfriend - who I'm really close with - sends me an email that basically says I shouldn't treat my dad like 'that.' I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I SAID WRONG.

I'm ready to punch her in the face. And I'm also ready to cry.

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

I'm so sorry!!! He's probably just upset that you're all grown up... Most men don't think before they speak either... Think about your new life with your DH, this is an exciting time for you both!

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

so sorry to hear ...but before you do anything crazy like i know u want to ....(which i would want to do also) just let them cool off for a bit ....maybe he feels like you do not need him anymore...try to write her an email back explaining that now u are married and you and ur husband need to make decisions together


sorry.....hope Everything works out

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

He's losing his little girl totally and completely and just doesn't know exactly how to handle it.

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

i'm sorry. i know how terrible it can be when your parents treat you like that (i mean they're your parents, they're supposed to protect and comfort you). fh's mom does that to him a lot. just stand up for yourself though. don't yell or scream, just be rational and stern. tell him you don't like being treated that way and if he yells, end the conversation and tell him you'll talk to him when he can stop yelling. that usually pisses them off, then works really well.

maybe he's upset b/c it seems like you don't need him anymore. that seems to set off a trigger in most parents.

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

Don't be upset, your dad is just acting out bc you're growing up and he doesn't know how to handle it. Reassure him that although you live with DH now you'll always be his daughter and nothing will ever change that!!

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

i definitely agree - it is probably scary for him that you are growing up

it is still a completely immature way to act and i am sorry that you have to deal with this. . .

congrats on the offer being accepted - this is an exciting time for you two - try not to let you dad ruin it!

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

Awww i'm sorry
Why don't you try having dinner with him, just the two of you and ask him what's making him feel this way?

He's probably just upsetting because not only are you married now but you just bought a house too!

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

your dad is just worried about you and the unknown. My dad said some harsh things when I was buying my house in an area he thought was a bad neighborhood. Once he did his own homework on the area and talked to some cops, his fears were allayed. We went over everything - like adults - and I think he realized this was the best decision to make. He came to his senses and I was able to lean on him and get help from him. This will pass. Call him and tell him you love him, but you can't do this without him. Tell him you can't let this opportunity pass and you don't want to have any regrets if it slips through the cracks. Tell him that you will listen to his concerns and look into every single one of them and come to a decision WITH him involved. But tell him you need him to be there with you in one of the most important decisions of your life. He's just worried about you.

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

But you won the bid on a house!!!!!!!! Congrats! Don't worry what family says! As long as you and FH are happy!!!

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

I agree with all the other girls, he probably is hurt and upset that his little girl is grown, my dad would never say it and I am sure alot of other ladies on here would say the same t hing...let him cool off and then ask him what you did, if you do this now he may flare up again...he may even call you first for you!

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

My father says alot of things to upset me, the other day he told me,' Your always around when are you moving out!' Nice right.

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

I am so sorry that the support you would need and desire is not there...

HOWEVER...

YOU ARE GOING TO BE A HOMEOWNER! THAT IS SO EXCITING! Where is the house? What kind? I am so thrilled for you!

Don't worry... everyone else will come around soon!

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

SORRY THIS HAD TO HAPPEN....maybe your dad is sad that you are getting ready to leave and he feels threaten by it.....talk to him ok...i hope everything works out ok...be strong

Q

Re: Ready to cry -- I need hugs, father is upsetting me

Your dad probably wanted to take care of this for you. Although he didn't have the right to be nasty to you. I agree he is probably upset that he is losing his little girl.