Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

Another question...

How many of you are doing a Cookie Day? If you are, who are you inviting? Just close family?

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

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Posted by KickinDandelions

Another question...

How many of you are doing a Cookie Day? If you are, who are you inviting? Just close family?

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Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

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Posted by KickinDandelions

Another question...

How many of you are doing a Cookie Day? If you are, who are you inviting? Just close family?

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Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

Here's a quote from "my big fat chinese wedding" blog:
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BACKGROUND

According to Rosemary Gong, a bride will have a 'cookie day' about a month before the wedding where the groom is supposed to deliver a pig, pastries, and all sorts of other types of food depending on various regional customs. I've always thought of this as more of a 'pig day' b/c delivering a whole roast pig is such a big spectacle but I guess the cookies are supposed to be the main event. Gong says the pig (symbol of purity) is supposed to be carried in headfirst and there's supposed to be lots of fancy pastries too, all of which is to be divided in half and returned to the groom (for example, if he brought two chickens, he would get one back). The pig's head, feet, and tail are also returned. What remains is then distributed amongst the bride's relatives. Here's where the cookie cards come in: Gong says that for brides who are too busy to set aside a day for this, they can send out the cookie cards to their relatives so that they can redeem them for pastries on their own. From my experience, it has always been whoever is a guest of the bride receives a card along with their invitation, not just relatives.

Similarly, a while ago, my mother said that the 'new' thing to do over in Hong Kong is to give out cards that relatives can redeem for food (in lieu of getting a portion of the pig and other food) at certain Chinese restaurants so that ppl can forego the headache of getting and delivering a pig. According to Gong, lucky money (hong bao, or lai see to you Cantonese ppl) can be substituted with a list of what the money is intended for written on the envelope. I think for ease, my parents would rather do the card thing only but I think the experience would be a good story to tell future generations.

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

I know what you're talking about, for my brother's wedding his "Cookie Day" if you call it that, was the day of his wedding. All gifts, including pastries, pig, and cash was delivered to the brides family the morning of before picking up the bride. I guess there are different customs.

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

yea..it's so hard for us to follow the traditions when there are so many out there! i think our family is used to doing cookie day early because the bride's side gets cookie cards for those that cannot attend the actual cookie day..and those cards are put into the wedding invites...

i'm just excited to eat all the yummy food!!!

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

Is "Cookie Day" still common nowadays? I don't think I'm going to do it, seems like a lot of work. How about you?

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

originally we weren't planning on it..but when my grandma heard we may do it..she got all teary-eyed and happy..and she said that the last cookie day she'd been to was for my mom ...it's a lot of work..but FH and i think it's worth it to make all the more traditional members of our family happy...

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

I guess you're right, we have to keep the tradition going. I might consider it, depending on how our budget is once the wedding date gets closer.

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

we actually call it a pig day...but its always done for everyone in my family (and we are very americanized). its jsut another excuse for us all to get together, i guess. it is always done at least a month ahead of the wedding. the bride and groom usually hand out their invites here.

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

well..i think she was also happy because she probably doesn't think any of my other 6 female cousins will have one and that some of them may never even get married...

if my family wasn't that into it..i probably wouldn't do it because it's a lot of back and for between all the "elders" trying to decide what traditions to follow, who gets what, how much to ask for..sigh..it makes my head spin sometimes..

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

If I do it, it will be for my mom. I think she would be the only one who cares.

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

i went to a pig day, it was fun. just a ton of food....and hanging..

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

Sorry for the new topic, but how many of you girls are having a tea ceremony? And if you are, will you have it in the RH or at home? TIA

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

Hi! I'm pretty new here, but this is a great thread...there are so many traditions I didn't even know about!

I was initially planning to do a tea ceremony, but then my parents didn't seem that into the idea...and my FH is not asian...so we probably won't now...

Not to change the topic, but I had another question - does anyone know where I can get a pink double happiness cake topper? We actually planned a completely Western wedding, but my mom recently revealed that she was bothered by the lack of any asian customs (particularly the "lucky" stuff)...the cake topper would be my attempt to appease her!

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

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Posted by lucamon

Sorry for the new topic, but how many of you girls are having a tea ceremony? And if you are, will you have it in the RH or at home? TIA

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Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

since our ceremony starts late afternoon, we're doing the tea ceremony with FH's family around lunchtime..then FH's family is going to have a small lunch for their close family and friends while we get ready and possibly have a small tea ceremony w/my family (i know that's not how it's traditionally done, but logistics are getting in our way)...

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

I'm doing tea ceremony in the afternoon before the actual ceremony at night. he will pick me up from my house, so we do it with my parents first then go his parents at his house. after that we go take pics at RH.

does anyone know any good place to make a qipao in hongkong?

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

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Posted by Sarni80

Hi! I'm pretty new here, but this is a great thread...there are so many traditions I didn't even know about!

I was initially planning to do a tea ceremony, but then my parents didn't seem that into the idea...and my FH is not asian...so we probably won't now...

Not to change the topic, but I had another question - does anyone know where I can get a pink double happiness cake topper? We actually planned a completely Western wedding, but my mom recently revealed that she was bothered by the lack of any asian customs (particularly the "lucky" stuff)...the cake topper would be my attempt to appease her!

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Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

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Posted by Sarni80

Hi! I'm pretty new here, but this is a great thread...there are so many traditions I didn't even know about!

I was initially planning to do a tea ceremony, but then my parents didn't seem that into the idea...and my FH is not asian...so we probably won't now...

Not to change the topic, but I had another question - does anyone know where I can get a pink double happiness cake topper? We actually planned a completely Western wedding, but my mom recently revealed that she was bothered by the lack of any asian customs (particularly the "lucky" stuff)...the cake topper would be my attempt to appease her!

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Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

I don't know what to do. FH and I live in Suffolk, his family lives in Nassau, my family is in Queens and the RH is in manhattan. With all the travelling, there isn't enough time for a tea ceremony. And my mom wants it all done on the same day so we can have pictures and video of it. FH also wants to do tea ceremony with his family but they have no clue. He figures his family can watch mine, then copy everything we do. Would it be weird to have the tea ceremony at the actual RH? I always thought it was a "family" thing.

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

When is your ceremony?

I think it would be pretty practical to have the tea ceremony at the RH. I've been to weddings where the people who wanted to participate in the tea ceremony stepped away after they served the main course and did the ceremony in a separate, more private room. Some RHs said we could arrive a couple hours early to take over a smaller room within their facility for our tea ceremony so that's an option, too. Then you can do the tea ceremony while FH's family watches and then do the ceremony with his family.

I'll be staying at a hotel near the RH in Nassau County the night before the wedding. The day of,
I'll be traveling from Nassau County to Queens for FH's tea ceremony, then back to Nassau County for my family's tea ceremony. Since my family is from NJ they're going to meet me back at the hotel and we'll do the ceremony in the hotel suite. My family's tea ceremony is small because for us the bride's tea ceremony is not as big a deal.

phew! sorry if that was TMI or i blabbed on too long!

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

Not TMI at all, that's why I asked. It sounds like you have more traveling than I do. My reception is at the 3 West Club. They do have other rooms for a tea ceremony, but.. I'm sure if I offer more money, they'll let me use the room. I would have the tea ceremony immediate after the american ceremony. I guess I could always do it in the same room as the american ceremony, since everyone has a seat already and I won't have to pay for extra setup. so frustrating... this whole thing is going to take at least a hour from the night and we only have the hall for 5-1/2 hours.

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

hmm..are you staying at a hotel nearby after the wedding? maybe if the hotel has a conference room free (depending on the size of your families) you can do it there. we were told by the hotel that if there was no one booked in those rooms they'd let us have it at a discount or free since all we would need is the 2 chairs for people to sit on and water to clean the cups. we told them it was a very low-key thing and we wouldn't need setup or cleanup or anything. ..

Re: ***~OFFICIAL Chinese Brides Thread!~*** updated w/ dancing lesson info

I'm staying at the 3 West Club after the wedding. They do have a library, it's very pretty, has an antique look, but I will have books and portraits of ppl in background of my wedding pictures. Do you think the wood is too dark? Sorry, I worry about stupid things.

Where is your wedding?

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Message edited 11/16/2007 6:04:27 PM.