Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

I don't know why I am so nervous about meeting with my priest tomorrow, but I am. This is our first meeting with him to ask whether he is available the night of our wedding and also, whether or not he'll do it. Has anyone ever had a priest turn them down because it was an interfaith marriage? What kind of questions should I expect to hear from him tomorrow? Is there anything else I need to know?
Hopefully I will stop stressing and just enjoy meeting with him tomorrow, but right now, I am a bit nervous. Thanks!

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

I am not 100% sure about this but I think as long as your fh agrees to raise your children catholic they will ok it.

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

Don't stress about the meeting--it was nothing. A couple of questions to make sure you both want to get married

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

What church are you going to? They cannot turn you down, as it is your right as a baptized catholic to get married in a church. All priests are different, just like all people are. He may ask you about how you are going to raise children in an interfaith marriage. But you need to know that answer before you get married anyway. Just be honest and I am sure it is going to be fine.

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

Mishy I'm in the same boat as you!! I'm having an interfaith marriage and get made an appointment with the priest for Tuesday. I am sooo nervous. . .but I think my FH reaction made me more nervous . .he claims he has nothing to say to the priest, doesn't know why we are going to the priest (why can't we just pick a date without having a whole big discussion) and doesn't think he has to go It was his idea to get married in a church!! AAAHH! He's going to drive me crazy!

Are you going to have a Rabbi or Cantor present at the church? I know my church will allow the Rabbi there but I don't know what they will 'allow' him to do. . .eg. the breaking of the glass. . .or the seven blessings so that's my big question 'How can we incorporate the jewish faith into a catholic church wedding?'
Please let me know how it goes . . .I'm curious to see how another church will handle an interfaith wedding

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

I am Catholic and my FH is Greek Orthodox. Even though we are both Christian, it is considered an Interfaith marriage. My church was fine with it. I had to agree to raise my children Catholic and I had to sign something basically stating the same. We need to go to Precaina and my FH needs to submit a copy of his baptismal certificate to the church as well. That is about it. Don't be nervous...I found my church to be very understanding...and the Catholic church is pretty well known for being strict. Actually, his church has more of a problem with it that mine does. Good Luck!

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

We had an interfaith ceremony and I was very nervous when we met with the priest. The member of the catholic faith will have to sign a document stating that the children will be brought up catholic. This was a hard thing for us to do since we had already agreed that the children will be raised in both faiths. After a lot of disscussions and speaking with the priest and family members we were reminded that it was a signature on a piece of paper. Nobody was going to knock on our door after the birth of our first child and demand that the child have a baptism. The priest also said that it doesn't mean we can't change our mine. The catholic is also required to get a dispensation from his church if marrying at the reception hall or anywhere else outside of the church. We went to a oneday interfaith pre cana. Our cantor also provided us with a beautiful Ketubah. Many wonderful interfaith ones are also available online. Any questions ask.

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

Egreen-
How was the interfaith precana? Was it helpful? Thanks...

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

The interfaith pre cana was over all a good day. We found out a lot about each other and the couple in charge of the day was wonderful. I some how wish the topic of interfaith relationships was discussed a little more though. Some people are so rude and nosey that as soon as they find out we are an interfaith couple they start asking questions about children. Does anyone else have this problem? It seems like they frown upon us when we tell them they will be raised in both faiths. Technically though in the jewis religon if the mother is jewish the children are jewish. I wish there was a how to book.........(if there was one I am sure us librarians would know of it).

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

Thanks Egreen...can you please tell me where you went for this, my FH and I are considering it.

As for 'how to' books - I guess noone can tell us how to (being that we are in the same boat as you, raising children both), but there are books written that deal with interfaith couples and raising children both. They are an aid, and I have one that I have read. The book helps, but you never know what situations, questions, etc. that may arise in your own experiences. If you'd like to know more about the book, please let me know.

Hope married life has been wonderful for you...

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

Thanks to all who got back to me. You put my mind at ease, although I have to admit, I was still a nervous wreck meeting with the priest.

We met with him today at 2:00, and I have to say, I am thrilled with the way things went and how he is available the day of our wedding. He asked us many questions, what qualities do we bring out in eachother, what did we learn from our families that we would like to bring to our family, our style of fighting and what it brings out in each of us, our religious upbringing and what we see for our children.

I thought once he heard us say that we wanted to raise the children with both religions, that he was going to kick us out. :) Of course that didn't happen and he really made us feel at ease regardless of whether he felt what we planned on doing was the right thing.

It's just the best feeling knowing that we have a priest who I know will make our ceremony a very loving and touching ceremony. He even had me in tears today (a little embarrassing to admit) and had my FH tearing up too.... just his demeanor is wonderful and listening to him speak was so touching. Finally, we have one other thing done.... now just have to find a rabbi and book all the other vendors.

Thanks again.

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

I feel compelled to respond to this because for WEEKS before my fiance and I met with our priest, I was looking all over the internet for posts/pages about what would occur. I'm Catholic and my fiance is Presbyterian. I was more nervous than he was! I need to tell everyone...DO NOT BE NERVOUS!! My hands were shaking and I had the butterflies...but now I know that I had not one reason to feel that way.

Of course, it all depends on your priest. I believe I have an exceptionally wonderful priest. He's the best one I've ever had. When we met with him, he didn't even ask any questions. He got straight to business and gave us all of the information we would need. He even gave us our FOCCUS test to take home with us (of course, trusting us to take it separately and be honest). Then, to close out the meeting, he asked us if we had chosen a place for our reception. When we said 'no', he started brainstorming where we could look!

Just be comfortable. Be yourself. Don't feel like you have to lie...your priest is human too! And believe it or not...he most likely DOES have a sense of humor and IS personable.

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

I'm glad to hear you had a good experience.

We had a GREAT experience planning our ceremony.

A few things to note

1) you CAn marry someone who is not Catholic, but you need a special dispensation, essentially this is just paperwork.red tape.

2) Ditto above if you want to get married outside the church building.

3) The non Catholic partner DOES NOT have to promise to raise the children Catholic. The CATHOLIC partner has to promise to do 'everything in my power' to raise the child in the church. There is room for interpretation there, everything in your power may be to have a strong debate with your spouse and decide it's not what's best for your kids.

4) There aren't the same rules in Judaism as there are in Catholicism. Every Rabbi you speak with will give you a different answer to many questions. A child is NOT NECESSARILY automatically Jewish if the mom is Jewish. Some Reform though says that if EITHER parent is Jewish, the child is jewish. Some Rabbis will say if either parent is NOT Jewish, the child is not Jewish and must undergo conversion. It depends on whether you're reform, conservative or orthodox, and honestly, your Rabbi.

5) You can have a full interfaith wedding in church. My wedding was officiated by a priest and a Rabbi. We basically intertwined the Catholic and Jewish ceremonies. We had all 3 readings and a Gospel, we exchanged rings but used the Hebrew Words, I gave flowers to mary but went up to the altar to sign our ketubah. it CAN be done, you just need to know what you want.

There are some great books out there. I'm in the process of starting an interfaith blog - interfabulous.wordpress.com to share my journey. I'm very passionate about living an interfaith life.

Good Books:

The New Jewish Wedding - Anita Diamant (really helped me as the non-Jewish aprtner to understand the Jewish Wedding ceremony and traditions and helped us pick)

Celebrating our Differences: Living 2 faiths in one marriage

Celebrating Interfaith Marriages: Creating Your Jewish/Christian Ceremony

There was one more I thought was really good. it had several sample ceremonies in it. I'll have to find it for you.

There were some books that were very UNhelpful as well, that really only showed one side and criticized other choices

Re: Meeting with Priest tomorrow for first time (Interfaith marriage). Nervous... what should I expect?

Oops. I read this as being from July 2012, not July 2002. holy bump.