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Totally bummed....cancer sux

BEANS Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:03 PM+

BEANS MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4617 WEDDING DATE: Jun 10, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:03 PM

Totally bummed....cancer sux

I just received an email from my best friend of 25 years that her father has lung cancer & it has already spread to one of his lymph nodes. I haven't even replied yet because I haven't got a clue as to what to say. This man was such a huge part of my life gowing up, took us to Yankee games, the beach anywhere we wanted to go. I can't even believe that this is happening..

Sorry to be a downer, but could use a little bit of advice on how to respond without upsetting her more.

mtdr1106 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:04 PM+

mtdr1106 MEMBER SINCE: 7/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4443 WEDDING DATE: Nov 11, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:04 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

my heart is breaking. this is terrible terrible news.

cindyandkevin Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:07 PM+

cindyandkevin MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 21573 WEDDING DATE: Jun 10, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:07 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Omg, I'm so sorry Tara!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no words to offer except to promise that you'll be there for whatever she needs.

chikita315 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:13 PM+

chikita315 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 3393 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:13 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

I'm so sorry.

You should simply tell her that as her friend you are there for her. Whenever wherever - period. That's all she'll need to hear.

evnme Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:18 PM+

evnme MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 9537 WEDDING DATE: May 21, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:18 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Preshy7 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:20 PM+

Preshy7 MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4954 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:20 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

im soooo sorry. i dont knw what to say sweeite except that her dad is an awesome man and that you wil be there for her whatever she needs. sometimes just calling her and letting her chat about her dad is a good distraction.

im so sorry that you and your friend are going through this.....life ***** sometimes

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:23 PM+

JanuaryBride06 MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 13015 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 1995

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:23 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Sometimes there is nothing that you can say.
Sometimes the best thing that you can offer is your time --- to listen, to be there whenever she needs it.

I'm so sorry.

stephanielyse Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:23 PM+

stephanielyse MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 3059 WEDDING DATE: May 01, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:23 PM

.

kittythestray Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:32 PM+

kittythestray MEMBER SINCE: 1/06 TOTAL POSTS : 4785 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2000

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:32 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

I agree about listening & offering support, but it also depends on your friend, too.

When I found out my Mom had cancer I didn't want anyone's sympathy or pity or 'feeling bad' and I didn't want people asking me about her all the time. If I had something I wanted to share, I would share it, so although I liked when people asked 'How's your Mom' meaning I liked that they had her in their thoughts, I didn't want to sit there & describe what doctors she saw & what treatments she was having & all that, so if I answered “she’s doing OK…Thanks for asking” leave it, don’t ask more ?’s like “Well, what’s going on, any news…” If I wanted to tell you I would. Just my experience…

For you and your friend’s dad & family

M&S Sept12006 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:35 PM+

M&S Sept12006 MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 5839 WEDDING DATE: Sep 01, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:35 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Cancer sux...

Sorry to hear this Beanie...

All you can really do is offer your friend a shoulder to cry on and emotional support by listening and being there for her...

vita930 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:42 PM+

vita930 MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2235 WEDDING DATE: May 21, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:42 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Oh Beanie that sux!!! I am sorry to hear that!!

My good friend's mother died of it last year (at 46)...it also spread to her lymph nodes...she went within 3 months....it was so hard to see it....she spend 1 month in the hospital and then 2 weeks at home (hospice)

Be prepared for a battle....be very strong for your friend...she will need you....

superkat Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:44 PM+

superkat MEMBER SINCE: 11/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4634 WEDDING DATE: Jun 18, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:44 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Sorry to hear this Beans. My FIL died of lung cancer 2 years ago. It is a terrible thing to witness. Just be a good friend and listen when she needs to talk or cry. That is all you can do.

Many hugs and prayers for all.

JessicaM. Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:45 PM+

JessicaM. MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 10882 WEDDING DATE: Apr 23, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:45 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

just let her know you are there. that you love her, you love her dad, and anything she needs is a done deal.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:59 PM+

ChrissynRicky MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 14639 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 04:59 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

I'm so sorry to hear this sweets. He will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

I cannot say anything that hasn't already been stated - but be there for her.

BellaEyes Posted: Jan 23, 2007 06:02 PM+

BellaEyes MEMBER SINCE: 1/06 TOTAL POSTS : 2685 WEDDING DATE: Nov 25, 2006

Posted: Jan 23, 2007 06:02 PM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

I am very sorry to hear about your friends father. Coincidently, I am currently going through this right now..with my husbands gramndmother passing away three days ago of cancer. The advice I have for you is to just be there for her and her family.. listen to her, be a shoulder to cry on, be helpful in anyway you can.

BEANS Posted: Jan 24, 2007 08:46 AM+

BEANS MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4617 WEDDING DATE: Jun 10, 2006

Posted: Jan 24, 2007 08:46 AM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Thanks everyone

They all seem to be hopeful & in good spirits.

debsey75 Posted: Jan 24, 2007 09:40 AM+

debsey75 MEMBER SINCE: 2/06 TOTAL POSTS : 2550 WEDDING DATE: Oct 20, 2006

Posted: Jan 24, 2007 09:40 AM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Sorry Tara. Just being there for your friend is the best thing you can do. I just went thru the same thing with my best friend of 25 yrs as well with her mom.

Smiles111 Posted: Jan 24, 2007 09:50 AM+

Smiles111 MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 2060 WEDDING DATE: Oct 27, 2006

Posted: Jan 24, 2007 09:50 AM

Re: Totally bummed....cancer sux

Maybe ask your friend what she needs?
Meaning, does she need to talk or be quiet? Does she want you to ask/check in regularly or wait for her to tell you? Hang out and be together or alone time.....etc.

And of course, letting her know that you will try to honor what she needs.

GsCM4EVA Posted: Jan 24, 2007 11:35 AM+

GsCM4EVA MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2837 WEDDING DATE: Jul 13, 2006

Posted: Jan 24, 2007 11:35 AM