Garter and Bouquet toss question

My fh insists on doing the garter/bouquet thing. I am definitely throwing the bouquet and I don't mind my fh taking off my garter nor that my fh will throw the garter to a pack of men lol. BUT, I do have a problem with having the garter placed on the leg of the single girlfriend that catches the bouquet because my girlfriends are extremely conservative and I don't want to embarrass them or make them uncomfortable. My fh says he has been to plenty of weddings where they do this and that it is the best part. I don't agree. What do you all think and what did you do??? I get away with a lot when I tell my fh that everyone here thinks that we should do xyz, he actually then believes me that we should do it a certain way. Help!!!!

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I wish I had just done the bouqet toss and thats all.

I totally agree with what your saying. At my wedding my sister catched the bouqet then her bf catched the garter. Butt the garter toss had to be done again because my hubby threw it before the count of 3 and the videographer didn't get it. They redid the garter toss and someone else catched it that doesn't even know my sister. It was a very uncomfortable feeling for my sis and bf.

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i think everyone knows what happens to the girl who catches the bouquet. any friends that would be embarrassed or uncomfortable don't have to catch the bouquet. jmo

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This is just my opinion but I think the garter toss and removal is a very crude thing. Most weddings I go to have removed this tradition from the agenda.

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I'm actually looking forward to that part. When the person who caught the garter puts the garter on the person who caught the bouquet i'm planning on playing the song 'Let's Get it On ' by Marvin Gaye. I think it will be hilarious. I trust everyone I'm inviting to be fun but respectful.

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I totally agree with bride04. Everyone knows what happens when the bouquet and garter are tossed. If a girl doesn't want another guy creeping up her leg, then I suggest don't even bother going for the bouquet. JMO. I don't think this is a reason to NOT do it.

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The thought of ANYONE reaching under the bride's dress while she's sitting in a room full of people is, well as Stef put it, crude. JMO. It's been a long time since I've been to a wedding where this was done.

However, I think that lots of brides these days are still tossing JUST THE BOUQUET - especially if they have a lot of single girlfriends.

Edited to add - you could also do the anniversary dance in place of tossing the bouquet.

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you don't have to do that if you don't want....just tell the maitr'd to end it at the toss of the garter...

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I opted not to do either. I went to a wedding where everyone was pretty loaded and during the boquet toss one of the drunk bridesmaids ran and fell going for the boquet, and broke her two front teeth. the later RE-DID the toss. I was amazed, and vowed then not to do it at my wedding. Plus my friends are pretty shy and I think its kinda mean to make all the single girls get up and do it.

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There are some cute alternatives to this. I just read about them in the latest issue of New York Bride ( i think?) I don't have the magazine with me right now but I'll post about it when I get home.

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We will just be doing the bouquet toss. FH is very conservative and shy and not really into creeping up my leg in front of everyone! Try to compromise on it and if he wants to remove your garter instead of throwing it and having some random person catch it you could just give the garter and bouquet to a special couple..ie. next to marry, longest married, etc.

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We aren't planning on doing either since there will be no single people at my wedding (except my sister and I don't think she wants to stand on the dancefloor all alone lol). None of the recent weddings I've been to though have done the garter thing. As others have said, it seems little crude.

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I refused point blank to do the garter thing, but I am thinking of the bk toss, as I am leaving the hall

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I agree that this is an outdated, really degrading tradition ... plus it stops the dancing .... which is really the fun part!

We got a suggestion from our hall which we will use .... the band calls out all of the married couples onto the dance floor. Then they progressively ask the couples to sit ... first couples married for less than a day, then for less a year, for less than 5 years, less than 10 .... etc. until the last couple dancing is the couple married the longest. We would then present the bouquet to that couple.

They call it the circle of love. I liked it much better than the bouquet tossing business.

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I did the garter removal and gave both the garter and throwaway bouquet out but I did the anniversary dance thing. It was given to the couple married the longest via process of elimimation. Can you believe I had 4 couples married over 50 years and 3 over 55! It was too cute. And a big hit with the crowd. (edited to say - what christmasbride described).

I do not think the garter removal and toss is crude. I think it is a funny tradition! I have been to several weddings where it was absolutely hysterical. It really depends on your personality and your crowd. The only reason I didn't do it was my friends that are single are limited in number and in our early 30's. I would have had about 5 or 6 po'd girls upset I was calling attention to them and 3 cousins under the age of 20!

If you are doing both the garter and bouquet toss, I would go ahead and have the guy put it on the girls leg. I thing the shy conservative girls willhid int he back...the girls who want it go staright to the front! Hey for my brother's wedding, my younger brother (25) cought it and had to put it on one of his best friend's g-friends ligs. The two of them put on quite the show. She was just as into it as he was. She was doing a little kicking thing!

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i trust all my friends & invitees.... if they don't wanna be a little embarassed, then they don't have to go up for the tossing. other than that, i can't wait.....



it's gonna be so much fun!

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I must agree that the whole garter thing is a bit crude IMO. I feel like its a scene right out of the Wedding Singer. We will do the boquet toss and thats it. Of course my friends from college really wanted me to have a total 'Lawng Iland' wedding with all the hoopla just b/c they can't believe people actually do it so they would probably love the garter toss etc. I refuse to do it. But if you think it would be fun, go for it. Just not my style.

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I think it's perfectly OK, as long as it's done in taste. Everyone know what type of guests they will have, and decide if it's appropriate for your crowd.
At Shammas wedding I caught the bo-k, but FH ran away from the garter,LOL, so someone else had to put it on my leg. It was fine, Shamma made sure to tell him not to get ridiculous, and all went well, He didnt go past my knee. We all had a great time, and FH didnt get jealous. It's all about doing things tastefully.

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I loved it, it made me laugh so hard, like they say everything in moderation. Everyone at our wedding thought it was so funny.

Liz, Len is a party pooper

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I have to say that when my best fiiend did NOT do it at her wedding ( she did do the bouquet toss) we all, including her hubby felt cheated. Why do the girls get to have all the fun?