Re: Stressed now about what I gave as wedding gifts!!!

Our regular gift is $300 unless its a very very close friend of ours. Then maybe 350-400 but we had guests at our wedding give us $50 or $100-we didnt turn our noses up and say "how cheap" we knew that was all they could afford.

Dont feel bad-everyone is different and finances and bills and responsibilities are different for everyone

Re: Stressed now about what I gave as wedding gifts!!!

Ditto on not feeling obligated to cover your plate. FTR, giving a gift to cover your plate is an etiquette myth. Give what you can afford, period.

Here are a couple of etiquette guides on the "covering one's plate" issue. Both say you should give what you can afford, even though thy were written nearly 40 years apart.

"Amy Vanderbilt's New Complete Book of Etiquette," 1963:

---

Never feel you must "match your gift to the circumstances." If you are the bride's former teacher, living on a small salary, don't feel you must give a gift well out of proportion to the amount you should spend, just because the bride will have a big wedding and perhaps live on a lavish scale.

---

---

[Q:] Am I supposed to buy a gift that costs as much as the families spend on each person at the wedding? [A:] No. This modern myth causes considerably anxiety for guests, but it is false. The amount you spend is strictly a matter of your budget, and what you think is an appropriate gift. Even if someone is brash enough to indicate how much is being spent on the wedding, you are under no obligation to spend more than you can afford.

---

Message edited 10/25/2007 11:52:57 PM.