Mother of The Bride Help!

I am getting married in September 2008. I am trying to get my mom to be more active in my wedding. I am the one that has to bring it up other wise she doesn't! Any advice here of what I can do?

Thanks!

-Jenn

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Hi Jenn!!!
Do you have any ideas why Mom might be dragging her feet? There could be different reasons, and perhaps if you know the reason, you can come up with a solution. Does Mom approve of FH, and all your plans? Does Mom have medical/change of life issues/medication side effects which might cause her not to be motivated? Mary MOB

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

She never brings up my wedding at all! I am the one that does. What I think the bottom line is she doesn't want me to go! I am the oldest and more reliable then my other sister. I do more for her. Maybe it's because I am older.

Last night I went To the Meadow Club Shocase and she was having a great ol time!! She even partcipated in the House DJ Show and won $50 off!!! So Maybe she is coming around!!!

Now I have another situation with my MOH!!! It's listed in the Brides Helping Brides Forum!

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

She never brings up my wedding at all! I am the one that does. What I think the bottom line is she doesn't want me to go! I am the oldest and more reliable then my other sister. I do more for her. Maybe it's because I am older.

Last night I went To the Meadow Club Shocase and she was having a great ol time!! She even partcipated in the House DJ Show and won $50 off!!! So Maybe she is coming around!!!

Now I have another situation with my MOH!!! It's listed in the Brides Helping Brides Forum!

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I agree with Debismom, but if you say she had a great time at the showcase then maybe she is a little sad about you leaving. I am sure she will get over that, but in the meantime keep speaking to her about the wedding (and her dress too) and keep bringing her to your appointments, showcases, etc as much as you can.

Will look on BHB now to see your other problem.

Good luck and congratulations!

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Thanks!!! I appreicate this!!!! :) Thanks for listening to me vent!!! LOL

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

She never brings up my wedding at all! I am the one that does. What I think the bottom line is she doesn't want me to go! I am the oldest and more reliable then my other sister. I do more for her. Maybe it's because I am older.

Last night I went To the Meadow Club Shocase and she was having a great ol time!! She even partcipated in the House DJ Show and won $50 off!!! So Maybe she is coming around!!!

Now I have another situation with my MOH!!! It's listed in the Brides Helping Brides Forum!

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Hi, Jenn!!!!
Moms sometimes just need to know that they're loved and won't be forgotten. While this is going to be a very stressful, busy time for you, I think it might help, to spend the day with Mom, and do something together, that both of you enjoy! Moms generally love putting themselves last, and their kids first, but I know it thrills me, when any of my children, aren't rushing around, take some quality time to be with me, and ask 'How are YOU doing, Mom?' Sometimes a little bit of surprise attention, makes a Mom feel great!! Reassure your Mom, that you love her, and how much she means to you. If your Mom has ligitimate concerns over your leaving, such that she can't do important things in her life anymore, perhaps that needs to be addressed, to reassure her. For instance, my Mom was a widow early in life, and doesn't drive. Now, she's almost 80, and with my Brother in Tenn., she depends on me a lot. If you can't help her anymore, perhaps you and Sis, can come up with a plan, to get her help, for whatever important needs she might have. This might not be your situation, with Mom needing help, but I thought I would mention it. If she is just missing you, and Moms will do that, set aside a bit of quality time each week, that you and she, or even you and FH spend some time with her. Let her know she is still going to be a part of your life/lives. Mary MOB

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Hi Deb!

Thanks so much for advice! It has helped allot!! I will take everything you said into consideration! I know my mom is sad that I am leaving the home I grew up in but happy that I am getting married! I think it's all happening too fast. We were engaged in October and now we are getting married in September! One thing for sure I will always be there for her and she can still cound on me!
:)

-Jenn

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

Hi Deb!

Thanks so much for advice! It has helped allot!! I will take everything you said into consideration! I know my mom is sad that I am leaving the home I grew up in but happy that I am getting married! I think it's all happening too fast. We were engaged in October and now we are getting married in September! One thing for sure I will always be there for her and she can still cound on me!
:)

-Jenn

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Sweetheart, you sound like a wonderful Daughter!!!! Getting married and leaving the nest is a normal step in life. Moms know that, but it doesn't make it easier sometimes. Mary MOB

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Awww you are so sweet!!!! Thanks for everything!!!!
XOXOXOXOXO

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

Awww you are so sweet!!!! Thanks for everything!!!!
XOXOXOXOXO

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You're welcome, Jenn!!!!! Mary MOB

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Thanks! Well now I have another problem for Saturday. My mom may be cancelling due to that she has to go to the bank to get some kind of papers for my dad's new lease car! I almost flipped when I heard that! I asked her very calmly and nicely 'Can't you do that before we go?' Banks are open at 9am and we aren't leaving till 11. She told me she has to see!! SEE??? I can't believe she said that to me? First I get my sister to cancel then my mom? I can't anymore! It doesn't matter because I am still going with my 2 very best friends! And if my mom does cancel I think I might very well loose it. If she doesn't go I am asking my Future mother in law to come! And that will open a can of worms here! And i don't want feelings to get hurt! I think if my father knew all this, he would be upset with her!! I just hope she doesn't cancel too!!! I am still going no matter what!!!!!!!!!

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Hi, can't your dad go to the bank or if not I would talk to your dad and tell him how important it is for your mom to go with you. As far as your sister...take it with a grain of salt. Yes she is wrong but for her if she doesn't see 'HIM' is the end all. And for you if she is miserable it won't be fun. Just curious how old is your sister? Cause that could be the reason why she MUST see him. If she is young she probably feels he is her world. She will learn. I have 2 daughters and the one thing I always try to instill in them is that friends come and go but you will always be sisters and have will always have each other in the long run and so try to count to 3 and relax and enjoy your pre- wedding planning.

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

My sister is 23 years old! I am gonan ask her again and tell her how important it is to have her there. But I know how it's gonna go!

As for my mother...I am gonna tell my dad when I get home tonight, while she is at work. I'm sure he can go to the bank and do it himself!!!!

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Well at 23 she really should know better but I have a 23 year old and although she was a good MOH when it comes to other responsibilities she is the pitts. So ask her again to comprimise and go and see him after she is done with you and if she says no try to put this behind you and enjoy your day.

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

She is going there at 11 and hopefully is gonna meet me there later on. I imagine I am gonna be there a while...lol. I came up with a plan to give my cell phone to one of my friends!!

As for my mother, well yeah she has cancelled. She needs to go with my father for his new car! I think the papers are in both names and she needs to be there to sign them. I don't understand why she couldn't wait till Sunday!! She said she will go the next time. I am not cancelling my plans either! I am going with my two friends!!!! We will have a Blast!!

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

She is going there at 11 and hopefully is gonna meet me there later on. I imagine I am gonna be there a while...lol. I came up with a plan to give my cell phone to one of my friends!!

As for my mother, well yeah she has cancelled. She needs to go with my father for his new car! I think the papers are in both names and she needs to be there to sign them. I don't understand why she couldn't wait till Sunday!! She said she will go the next time. I am not cancelling my plans either! I am going with my two friends!!!! We will have a Blast!!

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Hi Jenn

It's good that your two friends will be with you (you will have fun), but if your mom can't cancel the bank with your dad then maybe you can make your dress appointment a little later. Either way go with your friends and have a wonderful day and pick a beautiful gown.
Let us know how you make out.

Liz

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

My mom did cancel on me!!! I asked her how about we make it later in the afternoon then around 2? she said she doesn't want to go too late! So I am just beside myself! I have my two friends with me. One I have known for 18 yrs the other for 17 yrs! We are gonna have a great time!! Helens Bridal lets me take pictures so I am gonna have them take pictures! And I will post them sometime on Sunday!!!

:)

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

My mom did cancel on me!!! I asked her how about we make it later in the afternoon then around 2? she said she doesn't want to go too late! So I am just beside myself! I have my two friends with me. One I have known for 18 yrs the other for 17 yrs! We are gonna have a great time!! Helens Bridal lets me take pictures so I am gonna have them take pictures! And I will post them sometime on Sunday!!!

:)

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I can't wait to see your pictures (as long as you find a dress you LOVE)! Have fun and don't give up on your mom....she will come around. And remember you can always talk to us!!!!

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Thanks for the support! I am excited to go!!!! I can't wait!!! I just want to pick out the perfect dress and take my FH breath away!!!!

Re: Mother of The Bride Help!

Hey Jenn,
good luck searching for your dress on Saturday. I called Liz at helen's for you today to let her know that we were friends. She told me that you had your appt. set. I am so so sorry to hear that your Mom and sister both bailed out on you. I don't know what else to tell you about how to handle your situation with your mom. Did it help any when your sister talked to her? I think you should just calmly tell her that you are very disappointed and hurt that she chooses not to participate in this very important part of your life.
Try to have a good time. Believe me, Liz will make you feel great!!! Let me know how you make out.