QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

I just wanted to know since you have been married how much quality time do you spend, with hubby, friends and yourself??? Do you spend most of your time with your hubby and have desserted your old friends???

Do you do any couple activities with other married couples?? Do you still have girls night out etc??

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

great question.

we have a lot of mutual friends - most of them have become 'couples' in our 9 1/2 years of dating, so we are kind of home base. We have dinner every Sunday with different people at our house, so we hang with those people together. I go out separately to dinner once a week with my very dearest friend come hell or high water - I am very adamant about it!

Mostly though we hang together - we are lucky that we have been able to blend my college friends with our jersey group!

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

My hubby and I have a standing date, the third Friday of every month which is unbreakable. We alternate who plans the date monthly. All relationship just like the one with my hubby requires work, so I make time for my friends as wel. I meet with them for lunch, or drinks or dinner at least once a month.

We have been trying to plan our first couple activity but it seems to be on my shoulder, if you ladies can help with some ideas it would be really appreciated. We were thinking a game night with cocktails and finger food

One of my GF thinks our relationship is over b/c I am now married I am so sorry she feels this way but such is life. I tried.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

Most of our friends are single, so we usually spend alot of time by ourselves, but we still have girls and guys night out. I think we would drive ourselves nuts if we didnt!!

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

OK, I will start...hubby works 6 days a week , so Saturdays is the time that I will devote to hanging out with friends or just doing 'me' time..nails, hair, etc.

Sundays is all ours together and he has pick of what he wants to do during the week I don't see him until about 7-7:30 and lately since business picked up (thank god) I see him about 8:30-9 so we get to spend time with each other for about an hour or so (if his eyes are still open )

Things will be much better for us time-wise when we move to Nassau, hubby works in Nassau and will be 10 mins from the job so that will be great, now he commutes and it's a night-mare on the LIE, we currently live in Queens.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

I try to do a night out with my friends about once a month. Cocktails after work on a Thursday is usually what we do. The hubbie once in a blue moon will go watch a big game (like last night) at a bar with his friends, and I almost never go. Too boring and i'd rather be shopping! Unfortunately I work in a industry that has a lot of parties and social gatherings, and my coworkers seem to get irked when I turn down most invitations. They don't understand I'd rather be home with my hubbie then making dreadful smalltalk!

I think you need time apart every once in a while for *girl talk* and stuff. Its healthy and besides gives us more stuff to talk about when we get home!

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

Ooooo...this is a good questions Shamma....

Most of my time is now 'baby' time, so this is something that really hits home. Hubby and I just recently made a resolve to create more quality time for ourselves. We created two night each week that our designated 'date' nights. We don't necessarily have to go out...we can also use the time to work on a couple of projects that we want to do together. But mostly, it's time to talk to each other w/o the baby around, and get re-connected. With a child, it's very easy to 'lose touch' with your spouse if you are not careful. We moved back to NY to be with friends and family, and also have more time together since we have more babysitters at our disposal. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked out quite that way yet.

I have only had a few 'girls only' nights...two were related to Michele31's wedding, one was with my old friends from high school, another with a college roommate, and another with my post-college friends.

Jeff has only had a couple 'guys' nights, but since he's not from LI, he doesn't have as many friends here. And, twice my brothers have made plans w/him and then not shown up. This makes me b/c it is unfair to Jeff.

Most of my friends are also either married or engaged, so it's quite a challenge to get ANYONE together at a mutual time. And, my post-college friends are now planning a night out THIS FRIDAY, which I'm gonna miss b/c of the LIW GTG (I can't win...when it rains it pours!)

These same women are now trying to plan our annual 'girls weekend,' which happens every summer since 1998. This year, it's tricky b/c there are several weddings to plan around, but we may go to Ocean City, MD...not sure yet.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

Claud, I was wondering as a new mother how the time with baby and hubby affects the relationship. That is one of the main reason I do not want a child very early in my marriage, I am afraid that I might lose touch with hubby.

We all need alone time and time with other people to keep us sane. There is no one person that can give us everything we need in any one relationship.

I love my alone time, I love the time with my girls, I love my time to volunteer, I love the time with my hubby, even when we do absolutely nothing. Yesterday I watched him put together out entertainment center....I know sappy. I applauded him when he was done.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

I spend most of my time with my hubby. About 3 or 4 times a month I do something with friends or family with out Don or sometimes by myself. Other times we socialize together.

We are still working on balancing it out. I need to work out a little more time alone which is really lacking with out compromising quality time spent with hubby and friends.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

This past year, most of my time is spent with hubby and family, whom we actually see more than we see friends. I haven't been spending much time with my closest friends at all, maybe once every other month, and I see some other friends every couple of months too. Since I've been pregnant, I love my 'at-home' time in my pj's!! I guess it's kind of sad that we don't socialize much at all, but it's saving us money too. The truth is DH is my best friend, and I just love spending time with him. Talk about being co-dependent!!

I know I'll regret not going out with friends more, once the baby comes.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

I spend most of my free time w/ hubby. We have 2 kids already so we really cherish our alone time!
We try to have date night every other week. We do run our business together so we are often together at work.
I have a few close friends that I speak to almost everyday but don't see that often. As far as plans with couples, I've been trying to get into new circles with couples. The friends we have that are married have totally different schedules & it's so hard to get together. Rich has a few guy friends that he hangs with maybe once a month. I've been reminding him to make plans the night of the GTG!

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

We spend a lot of time together but we also spend time with our friends.We usually go out for dinner with them or have them over to hang out.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

We spend a lot of time with family it seems. We both have large families and have many family functions to go to. We see friends every now and again, although I do chat with my closest friends almost daily over email.

My husband and I will see each other every night after I get home from work, and we try and have at least one night on the weekend that is just for us.

Alone time for me has been quite difficult to obtain. I always feel like I should be doing something else in the apartment besides reading a book that I want to get to, or working on my crochet. Maybe once the apartment is completely set up the way we want it to be, that feeling will settle down a bit.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

After the wedding we hardly had any time for our friends. Now that things have calmed down we finally have been able to go out for dinner or just hang out with our friends. Now we are trying to make plans with our friend at the least once a week and with family.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

We spent lots of time alone and with family. And I go out with my best friend maybe once a week after work (dinner or a movie or shopping)
Scott and I have a pretty balanced life style when it comes to this issue. I really love being home and don't have an urge to ever go to a bar or anything like that. Since most of my friends are married w/kids they like to see a movie or go for dinner instead of the bar thing. It works for us.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

we don't have a set schedule, but we spend most of our time together...on weeknights, i would say our 'quality time' is during dinner when we hang out and talk about our day....after dinner we either do stuff around the house, watch tv or have our alone time...depends on our mood...fridays and saturdays we have our 'date nights'...but sometimes we have people over earlier...or we'll go out with other couples...sundays we usually 'veg' or visit our families or go shopping...

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

We also don't really have a set schedule either. We spend a lot of time alone but always enjoy hanging out with friends and family. DH and I are always planning outings for our friends..whether is be a happy hour, party or dinner. We love going out. We don't have kids yet and most our friends don't either so I guess we can still do that. But the kids are starting to come and friends are starting to move to the 'burbs so it is getting harder to coordinate.

Pretty much on weekends we do things togther like shopping or household chores in the day and evenings go out with friends or to dinner with each other. Weeknights we spend time after work eating dinner and watching tv and talking. Often during the week one of us will have plans to go out with friends where we don't bring each other along...we are both open to maintaining doing stuff on our own....we feel it is necessary and heathly to our relationship. so it never causes any issues. I actually have girls night twice this week on Wednesday and then Friday with you guys!

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

I spend the majority of my time with my hubby. He does the guy thing with his family quite often; and I would use that time to relax, talk on the phone with mother, aunts, and GFs; and of course be on the internet. I am always reading so I enjoy my time alone at home. I also try to hang out with my brother and SIL at least once a week. My brother and I do lunch alone once a month. When I am in NY, I hang out with family and GFs. MY DH and I hang out with single GFs too. Actually we all went to Miami together. It was four girls, my hubbby and hubby's male counsin. We had a ball.

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

We spend most of our time together, whether it is alone at home or with other couples, which I love to do. Whether we have people over or go out, we are a couples couple so to speak. If I go out with my single friends, it is to the movies or a girls night or whatever. My friends are Gary's friends as well, he is that comfortable with them. We don't do girls/boys nights very often but welcome them when we get to do them, I like that. DH and I could do nothing together and still have a good time and I love that!

Re: QOTD 1/13/2003 Time spent w/ hubby vs alone time vs. time with friends

Spend most quality time with Brian. We have other couple friends and some single friends who don't mind being with the couples. I haven't had a real girls' night out since my bachelorette party. We're all getting older so no one wants to party much like that.