ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fh is still talking about a prenup and I don't want one I think it is putting a wedge between us!!! and he is like 'then we have a problem' what do you guys think???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I am pissed off


So after a lot of forum mail and talk with fh I think to be fair I will go and talk to someone about the pre nup thing..... still not lovin the idea but I willl listen that is all I can promise. I was just really pissed off about the whole thing but I guess being protected is a good thing besides if we have kids then the whole pre nup thing will be down the toilet!!!! thanks for all the kind words:)

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why does he want one so bad? I remember you saying previously that there really isn't a reason for one.

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont blame you ...did he say why he wants a prenup?? didnt you post about this already and say you have more $$ than him anyway? ( maybe it wasnt you) but anyway if thats so you should express to him how you feel and that you wanna know why he wants one so bad!!

id be pissed too.....i have nothing neither does steve....if he really wants my barbie doll collection that bad we might have a prblem lol thats all i have of value!

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then if he wants one, you make sure HE signs one from YOU....even if you dont have a dime, you may in the future....then see how he feels!

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IMO I would be too This is something you two really need to discuss at length. Do you think this is all his idea or is someone putting this in his head?

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he is an *** he thinks women get caught in the 'romance' and not reality!!! honestly i think some dumb *** guy at work is going through a divorce and opened his fat mouth
i said he probably works all the time never sees his wife or kids and now she is going for blood!!!

i talked to him and told him that i think he is starting off on the wrong foot! honestly my family has more money but i don't even think about that!!!

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry!
I would totally be pissed to! IMO, if someone is asking for a prenup, in their mind, there is a slight possibility of it not working out. Marriage is forever! I would just talk it out with him and try to reach a common ground. Just as much as he wants one, you DONT want one... there should definitely be some sort of compromise!

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think we will have to talk to a third party about it.....

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good luck

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think he is probably nervous divorce is scary and if someone he works with is going thru a bad one he has it in his head. I say just do it. Years from now when you are happily married you can laugh at him and say what the hell.

If it makes you feel better get one also.
If my man had some money I wouldn't mind signing one (but I also kinda wish he had money so dont take my opinion lol)

Im sorry you are going thru this. My aunt signed one when she got married and they have been together like 17 years
good luck

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry you are going through this right now. Maybe talking to a 3rd party is the route to take on this one. IMO if he had one drawn then you should as well, so all is fair.

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm biased because I'm a law student but I don't think a prenup is a horrible thing.

Tell him you want him to pay for your lawyer and then make sure it's fair for both of you.

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it seems like he has a trust issue he has to know that when you agreed to marry him, you didnt plan on getting a divorce. money can be so annoying sometimes. I would be annoyed too!

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have the same problem FH wants a prenup and i told him no im not signing anything and he always says then cancel the wedding and im liek fine you call all the vendors but he never does...he wants one because alot of his friends are getting divorced and he just wants to make sure he getrs the house i said he can have it as long as i get our daughter and future children....i dont know what we;re going to do when it gets closer

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

um, honestly... I dont think its a bad idea.

I am actually doing one with FH. Everyone thinks its taboo or something that shouldnt be done- but to be honest in this day and age you need to protect yourself from god forbid situations.

FH first approached me on this and at first I was upset- but i started thinking, what if something happens to him or to me? I own property with FH and my parents own thier own comp. I want to make sure I am protected.

its all the what if, what if, what if,.... its better to do it now and be fair with eachother while still in love...instead of hurt and vintictive.... divorce these days are way too common and cost waaay too much.

Plus if your going into the marraige with someone in debt it protects the other person who isnt.

Its deff something to think about and educating yourself about it before dismissing it.

There is a book called prenup for lovers--deff worth browsing through it if your in the bookstore.

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by bluegreen08

I'm biased because I'm a law student but I don't think a prenup is a horrible thing.

Tell him you want him to pay for your lawyer and then make sure it's fair for both of you.

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I agree! I guess i'm biased b/c i'm an attorney but it's really not bad and it reinforces the fact that you are not marrying your spouse for the money!

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by DiamondPipa

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Posted by bluegreen08

I'm biased because I'm a law student but I don't think a prenup is a horrible thing.

Tell him you want him to pay for your lawyer and then make sure it's fair for both of you.

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I agree! I guess i'm biased b/c i'm an attorney but it's really not bad and it reinforces the fact that you are not marrying your spouse for the money!

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there are also sunset provisions and other things that can change the terms over time

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Adriana618

um, honestly... I dont think its a bad idea.

I am actually doing one with FH. Everyone thinks its taboo or something that shouldnt be done- but to be honest in this day and age you need to protect yourself from god forbid situations.

FH first approached me on this and at first I was upset- but i started thinking, what if something happens to him or to me? I own property with FH and my parents own thier own comp. I want to make sure I am protected.

its all the what if, what if, what if,.... its better to do it now and be fair with eachother while still in love...instead of hurt and vintictive.... divorce these days are way too common and cost waaay too much.

Plus if your going into the marraige with someone in debt it protects the other person who isnt.

Its deff something to think about and educating yourself about it before dismissing it.

There is a book called prenup for lovers--deff worth browsing through it if your in the bookstore.

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i agree with you. i think sometimes people do get caught up in the whole wedding thing and sometimes are a teensy bit unrealistic. if u ask anyone who's been divorced is they EVER saw it coming, it's almost guaranteed they'll say no. although it may seem unpleasant, if he thinks it's a good idea, maybe u wanna really consider doing it. and since u actually make more $, u may even be protecting yourself.
just don't be TOO mad at him

hope it works out!

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Adriana618

um, honestly... I dont think its a bad idea.

I am actually doing one with FH. Everyone thinks its taboo or something that shouldnt be done- but to be honest in this day and age you need to protect yourself from god forbid situations.

FH first approached me on this and at first I was upset- but i started thinking, what if something happens to him or to me? I own property with FH and my parents own thier own comp. I want to make sure I am protected.

its all the what if, what if, what if,.... its better to do it now and be fair with eachother while still in love...instead of hurt and vintictive.... divorce these days are way too common and cost waaay too much.

Plus if your going into the marraige with someone in debt it protects the other person who isnt.

Its deff something to think about and educating yourself about it before dismissing it.

There is a book called prenup for lovers--deff worth browsing through it if your in the bookstore.

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I totally agree...FH and I have talked about it and my friend who is in law school actually advised me to seriously consider it

Re: ok so i think i will stop the wedding planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Part of a successful marriage is compromise, right? Why not entertain the idea of a pre-nup and look over the terms. Remember, you can make changes to it as well before you sign it. Is this really worth fighting over?