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chakrasdeosil
cookies!
Member since 5/08 1074 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
vip cause you know I gotta shine
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what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Message edited 11/1/2008 10:47:03 PM.
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Posted 7/28/08 10:44 AM 
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fujamaga
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/07 751 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/15/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but how will she/he plan a baby for a certain week/day?
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Posted 7/28/08 10:47 AM
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pa56
Married!
Member since 5/06 1608 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/4/2008 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
NJ
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by fujamaga
Maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but how will she/he plan a baby for a certain week/day?
Barring any infertility issues, just count down nine months before the wedding date and try to conceive the child.
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Posted 7/28/08 10:51 AM
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Caramelatta
Board Fanatic
Member since 6/08 430 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/25/2009 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
I LOVE THIS PLACE
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
WOW!!!! That's meannnnn!!!!! But I honestly can't think of anything because if people already have spoken to her and she is still the same then what else can one do?? the only thing that i can think of right now is to pray that she doesn't get pregnant at the time he/she is planning on doing so. You can't get pregnant whenever one wants so hopefully that'll be it. Sorry you're going through this planning a wedding is stressful enough.
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Posted 7/28/08 10:53 AM
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pa56
Married!
Member since 5/06 1608 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/4/2008 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
NJ
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
chakrasdeosil - I'm sorry you are in this situation and that you know someone who is this competitive and childish. Unfortunately, these kinds of people are EVERYWHERE.
My only advice is that this person won't ever change. You can't do anything that will make her/him be less competitive. Just go on with your planning. Tell people ASAP about the wedding date so that they know now. This way, if her baby does arrive around the same time, your wedding will already be the "first" news.If people choose to go see the baby over your wedding, that is their problem not yours.
You will never be happy if you continue to let this person's behavior affect you and your FH's life. I know it's easier said than done, but if you ignore her antics, she will eventually go someplace else for the attention she is not getting from you.
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Posted 7/28/08 10:55 AM
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chakrasdeosil
cookies!
Member since 5/08 1074 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
vip cause you know I gotta shine
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Message edited 11/1/2008 10:47:26 PM.
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Posted 7/28/08 10:55 AM
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chakrasdeosil
cookies!
Member since 5/08 1074 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
vip cause you know I gotta shine
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
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Message edited 11/1/2008 10:47:43 PM.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:00 AM
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pa56
Married!
Member since 5/06 1608 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/4/2008 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
NJ
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by chakrasdeosil
The thing is this person is getting married before me, and I have been nothing but helpful to him/her. up until I stepped up for myself because this person was like "if i tell you to wear a potato sack, you will wear it" oh no hunny i wont. It just hurts that a person will be so self centered and spend their time looking for ways to hurt others.
I would stop offering to help them. It just makes you feel bad when you're around this person so minimize time spent together. If this person is a close family member, then make excuses for not seeing him. It doesn't do you good to be around them.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:03 AM
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Camroy
Board Fanatic
Member since 5/08 580 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/18/2009 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked!
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Easier to say than do but I wouldn't worry about it. If she gets pregnant, she will either be too big and uncomfortable to enjoy herself at your wedding, in labor, or too busy caring for a newborn. She may have to miss your wedding...however, your wedding is 1 day. The baby will be there before/after your wedding. Your guests will not miss your wedding to see the baby. She can try to steal your thunder but I don't think it is going to work the way she wants it too.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:04 AM
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chakrasdeosil
cookies!
Member since 5/08 1074 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
vip cause you know I gotta shine
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Message edited 11/1/2008 10:47:57 PM.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:10 AM
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DrWho
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/07 1308 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/12/2007 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Miller Place Inn
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
The only time FH's parents should be attending a birth is if FH is getting a new sibling.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:25 AM
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Kimbalina
Mrs. G-Rad!
Member since 1/07 15421 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/8/2008 8:00 AM
Wed. Location:
The Inn at East Wind
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
I am giving my honest opinion here..
Your wedding is in 3 years. Not 9 months, not 18 months.. I think you might be over reacting. Think about it.. How much some people do change in 3 years. If this is something that you are going to be sitting around thinking of while you plan to marry the man of your dreams etc... then this person has already won.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:31 AM
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chakrasdeosil
cookies!
Member since 5/08 1074 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
vip cause you know I gotta shine
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
ive been with fh for four years and every year tihs person gets worse so i do not think that im over reacting im just fed up.
Message edited 7/28/2008 1:31:11 PM.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:39 AM
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Camroy
Board Fanatic
Member since 5/08 580 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/18/2009 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked!
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by chakrasdeosil
If this person is in labor then my FH's parents will be forced to choose between a birth or their son's wedding. And I dont want any problems, I really dont.
They will choose the wedding. Unless they are going to be in the delivery room, they will just be in a waiting room. They really won't miss much of the delivery if they are at your wedding. If they are at the delivery, they will miss a lot.
Should the situation arise, I think the decision for them will be a no-brainer. They can go to the hospital after your wedding is over.
Message edited 7/28/2008 11:40:00 AM.
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Posted 7/28/08 11:39 AM
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beram63
Yes we can!
Member since 8/07 3380 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/11/2009 6:15 PM
Wed. Location:
West Sayville Country Club
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by pa56
Posted by fujamaga
Maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but how will she/he plan a baby for a certain week/day?
Barring any infertility issues, just count down nine months before the wedding date and try to conceive the child.
that's not as easy as it sounds. i'm still a bit confused about the situation, but the chances of pulling off the devious plan that concerns you are slim. however, if the person is that conniving, whoever's closest (you or FH) should have an honest conversation with the person. good luck 
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Posted 7/28/08 12:40 PM
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BAL5-9-05
Dreams Do Come True!
Member since 5/07 1076 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/24/2009 8:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Fox Hollow WGP!
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Me? I would try hard as hell to IGNORE this person, not allow them to get a "rise" out of you or FH...plan YOUR LIFE....forget they exist...& stop worrying about the "what if they......". Then let the cards fall where they may.....& if people have to choose (if you are right about the baby thing) then so be it. I would distance myself as far as possible (knowing this could be a challange because it's an immed. family member)....but do the best I can....& honestly, feel sorry for that person who is sooooo insecure & soooo childish...remember what comes around, goes around.....  DON'T GIVE THEM THE POWER TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE!
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Posted 7/28/08 12:54 PM
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chakrasdeosil
cookies!
Member since 5/08 1074 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
vip cause you know I gotta shine
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Thanks to all of you who have posted, you have all made me feel better, we were considering pushin up the date as far as possible, but like someone else said, what goes around comes around and I think if push comes to shove, I will be forced to talk to her and put her straight, the manipulating cant go on any longer.
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Posted 7/28/08 1:27 PM
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Soon2BMrsC09
Like Lamb and Tuna Fish ;)
Member since 2/08 3215 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/5/2009 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
VYC [<3]*
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Message edited 9/5/2008 4:03:54 PM.
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Posted 7/28/08 1:30 PM
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chakrasdeosil
cookies!
Member since 5/08 1074 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
vip cause you know I gotta shine
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
ooooooo good idea!!! thats exactly what im going to do.
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Posted 7/28/08 1:32 PM
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Espo22
Mrs. Espo
Member since 11/06 48578 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/17/2008 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by chakrasdeosil
They have like these calendars you can use if you want to have a baby on a certain month, you track when you are ovulating and theres this darn thing that the pharmacies sell that tells you when you are ovulating. This does not mean im talking about a girl though, even tho a guy cant literally have a baby, he helps make one
honestly, dont worry about any of this yet. Its not that easy to get pregnant. Some are lucky but i know so many people who try for months and months and there are so many people out there who have to try for a year or years to get pregnant. It doesnt just happen like that many times, even if you know what days you are ovulating. Some get lucky and will try once or twice and get pregnant, but most ppl i know it doesn't happen that way. And nobody can really sit there and say we will get pregnant today so i can deliver on this exact date. That is impossible to do, even if they happen to get pregnant 9 months exactly before your wedding date, which that alone will be hard for them to do, but even if they do the baby can come earlier or even be a little bit late. If its their first baby then most first pregnancies the baby comes out a little bit late. To plan when to get pregnant and even more so to plan what day you will deliver is almost impossible, it doesnt work out just the way you want it to, you cant plan it like that so if this happens exactly like that then i would be extremely surprised
So dont stress yet about something that is not even a reality yet. Its not worth it
Message edited 7/28/2008 1:44:44 PM.
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Posted 7/28/08 1:36 PM
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MJDoc12
WE SALUTE YOU!!!
Member since 10/05 11850 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/25/2007 11:15 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill Caterers.. A++++
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by Kimbalina
I am giving my honest opinion here..
Your wedding is in 3 years. Not 9 months, not 18 months.. I think you might be over reacting. Think about it.. How much some people do change in 3 years. If this is something that you are going to be sitting around thinking of while you plan to marry the man of your dreams etc... then this person has already won.
D to the ITTTO
i think you're worrying waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to soon about this stuff. and honestly--who cares if she did plan her baby around that time?? you don't think that people could go to your wedding the same week she delivers a child? i don't think i understand the correlation.
file this under "Can't control so why care?" and move on...no worries.
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Posted 7/28/08 2:20 PM
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MJDoc12
WE SALUTE YOU!!!
Member since 10/05 11850 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/25/2007 11:15 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill Caterers.. A++++
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by chakrasdeosil
Thanks to all of you who have posted, you have all made me feel better, we were considering pushin up the date as far as possible, but like someone else said, what goes around comes around and I think if push comes to shove, I will be forced to talk to her and put her straight, the manipulating cant go on any longer.
i seriously just have to ask this---what is you talking to her and "putting her straight" gonna do?? are you seriously gonna tell her "you are NOT ALLOWED to have a baby the week of my wedding!!!!" you don't think it will make things worse??
i swear I am not trying to be mean--and I'm sure you have all kinds of issues with this person and its making you upset----BUT you are seriously thinking that she will be in LABOR the EXACT day of your wedding and are getting mad at the thought. do you understand how much of a freaking rare occurrence that would be??? and yes you can get ovulating calendars---but head over to the TTC board on LIFamilies and you'll see that those don't always work the way you want, and sometimes getting pregnant isn't the easiest thing.
so don't think you have to have a "talk" with her to straighten her out---cause the chance of her being in labor on the EXACT day of your wedding....c'mon --take a step back and realize how silly that sounds!
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Posted 7/28/08 2:24 PM
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Colette
Change *I* Can Believe In!
Member since 6/07 2721 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/24/2007 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Castle on the Hudson
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
While I understand the pre-wedding stress building up, etc., I think its almost illogical to focus on this possibility so intently, for all the reasons above, sure, but moreso, and I don't mean this to sound b*tchy, but if I were your FSIL and were *intent* on stealing the spotlight from you on your day, there are about 3,457,389 EASIER ways to go about it than than "planning" to have a baby on your wedding day.
Of course, she really may be insane, but if that's true, why are you trying to match wits with her?
Its going to be a long 3 years if this you're going to play headgames with a psycho, no?
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Posted 7/28/08 2:57 PM
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Songstress
My faith has been restored
Member since 5/07 9399 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/2/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
I have an idea since shes so smart and might get pregnant 9 months before your wedding why dont you stay one step ahead of her and spike her drinks and food with birth control!!!
If she manages to work out having a baby on your exact wedding date, WOW ...
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Posted 7/28/08 3:09 PM
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missliss
We're having a BABY BOY!!!!
Member since 7/07 4947 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/15/2008 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
CV Rich Mansion
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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?
Posted by MJDoc12
Posted by chakrasdeosil
Thanks to all of you who have posted, you have all made me feel better, we were considering pushin up the date as far as possible, but like someone else said, what goes around comes around and I think if push comes to shove, I will be forced to talk to her and put her straight, the manipulating cant go on any longer.
you are seriously thinking that she will be in LABOR the EXACT day of your wedding and are getting mad at the thought. do you understand how much of a freaking rare occurrence that would be??? and yes you can get ovulating calendars---but head over to the TTC board on LIFamilies and you'll see that those don't always work the way you want, and sometimes getting pregnant isn't the easiest thing.
so don't think you have to have a "talk" with her to straighten her out---cause the chance of her being in labor on the EXACT day of your wedding....c'mon --take a step back and realize how silly that sounds!
DITTO. Go take a look at the TTC Board on LIF. There are girls on there who have tried every method in the book and still, unfortunately, cannot get pregnant, OR, don't get pregnant the first, second, third or tenth time they try, no matter how many calendars or ovulation predictor kits they use. Getting pregnant is not an exact science. Seriously, I'm not discounting how evil this person may be, but your wedding is not for another 3 years and the chances of someone getting pregant EXACTLY at the timeline they really want to are slim to none. You have many more things to worry about.
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Posted 7/28/08 3:19 PM
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