Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by DrWho

The only time FH's parents should be attending a birth is if FH is getting a new sibling.

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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I think you are stressing over nothing. This seems highly unlikly. Dont stress it unless it is that day and the girl is actually in labor. Then you can be happy they are not at the wedding as it seems like they have upset you many times before.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

as a parent and a woman who has had a few misscarriges....

there is absolutly NO WAY to plan an exact dats to have a baby.

a woman (concidering she has no health or fertility problems) only has a 20% chance of becoming pregnant every cycle. Even if they do conceive there is no way to set an exact delivery date (unless it is a scedualed c-section and trust me no one WANTS a c -section also doctors will not do a c-section out of conviniance for the parents.

It is called a estimated due date for a reason....it is estimated. For example my daughter was due 11/27 and was born via emergency c-section 11/16 I was already having contractions and eas induced but after a exam and finding the cord wraper around her forehead putting preasure on her head with every contraction she was out with in 20 min of finding this out.

I personally feel it is extreamly selfish of any man or woman to try to have a child out of spit e or to bennefit themselves. My daughter is almost 6 and FH and I would do anything to give her a sibbling unfortunetally it looks like we can not at this point(not that that has anything to do with your situation) but do not let anyone ruin your fun of planning your wedding after all it should be the happiest day of your life.... Hey you are starting a life with the love of your life and like another girl said it is 3 yeas away I wouldn't worry about this person too much since if their other 1/2 is smart they will see that he/she has problems and will get rid of them by then hopefully sooner rather than later.

sorry this was so long but i felt it was all somewhat important for you to see. good luck with it all feel free to FM me if you need.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

That stinks to have to go through this. The truth is there really isn't anything you can do except for try not to let this person bother you. It's only a competition for attention if you view it this way and try to compete back.

Its funny b/c I was just talking about a similar situation with FH.. I forget how it came up. The only way it would really effect your wedding is if it she went into labor at your wedding or immediately before. Otherwise she would be very very pregnant at your wedding or not attend... but everyone else in your family will attend. Or she will be at hom or at the hospital with the baby. Everyone will still come to your wedding. Evenif she goes into labor day of the wedding... parents are not going to choose to sit in a waiting room over being at your wedding. It is not until after the baby is born can they see it or her. So even if she is trying to do such a horribly selfish and manipulative thing there is really only like one in a billionth chance that it will effect you.

I hope it works out for the best!!! Good luck!

Message edited 7/28/2008 4:07:59 PM.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

so um.. I am guessing if this person manages to get prego around the time of your wedding and announces it 3yrs from now at your wedding - you will be upstaged once again

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

in order for her to even have a chance to deliver around the time of your wedding is to get pregnant in december of 2010, so that gives her just that one month to do so. Even if she tries to have sex while she is ovulating in december, doesnt mean she will get pregnant, its not just about when you are ovulating but about when you are fertile. If she really was trying to do this that gives her only that one month to do so and the percentage of her getting pregnant that one time trying is very low. If she gets pregnant before december then she will already have the baby before your wedding, if she doesnt get pregnant in december of 2010 then she will just be pregnant at your wedding with a month or more until she will deliver.

If she is going to try this then she is foolish to believe you can get pregnant on an exact date you want to get pregnant lol, and shows just how immature she is if she doesnt even know these facts. Just hope you realize how this all sounds like alot of nonsense and that things just dont work out like this when trying to have a baby. I read that 6.1 million couples have trouble conceiving in the U.S. Trust me you dont get pregnant just because you decide you want to get pregnant that month.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by Espo22

If she is going to try this then she is foolish to believe you can get pregnant on an exact date you want to get pregnant lol, and shows just how immature she is if she doesnt even know these facts. Just hope you realize how this all sounds like alot of nonsense and that things just dont work out like this when trying to have a baby. I read that 6.1 million couples have trouble conceiving in the U.S. Trust me you dont get pregnant just because you decide you want to get pregnant that month.

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Message edited 7/28/2008 4:13:15 PM.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

Well, look at it this way. If this person is giving birth during your wedding, then they wont be able to attend it. And that would be good for you, right?

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

understand something....

it takes a HEALTHY couple 6-9 months to conceive a child.

a woman is fertile for exactly 6-7 days A MONTH...

even if they time it PERFECTLY, the chances of this happening are slight to NONE.

it's time to take a breath & look at what you are saying.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

This is nearly impossible to accomplish. I know someone who had something similar happen to them. The couple had the baby a few months prior to the other couple's wedding. The one getting married told the other one that they can bring the (4 month old) to the cocktail hour, but may not stay for the reception. Hopefully, if this does happen...they will respect your wishes. It was fine. The baby was around for cocktail hour and then the babysitter brought him home.
I really hope for you, that she is 2 weeks too early to have a c-section/delivery for your wedding. And if for some crazy reason, she is able to conceive and will be due the week of your wedding, everyone will know that your wedding is more important than visiting a baby. They can visit the baby the following day. You can't bring a newborn to a wedding, so I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by davenjess

understand something....

it takes a HEALTHY couple 6-9 months to conceive a child.

a woman is fertile for exactly 6-7 days A MONTH...

even if they time it PERFECTLY, the chances of this happening are slight to NONE.

it's time to take a breath & look at what you are saying.

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Message edited 7/28/2008 7:35:19 PM.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

it seems like she is a person that will never change... enjoy your engagement and ignore whatever she says...

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I am so happy I am not the only one who thought that this statement was crazy.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

Maybe you can change your wedding date?

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I personally think you are overreacting a bit.

You will not be able to change this person no matter how hard you try or want to. It's easier said than done, but you will need to let this one go. You won't be able to control them AND the situation--they WILL do whatever they want regardless. I think that by you getting upset over this, you are lending credence to their arguments and giving them power....they know they get under your skin and you react to it, so they continue to do it.

It's not as easy as people think to just conceive--regardless of the ovulation kits and calendars. If this person gets pregnant and has a baby, then so be it...don't let this get in the way of your wedding day.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

Mine thing here is - she never SAID that she was going to do this or said it to anyone else. . .right? I mean - its kind of a long stretch on a hunch. There are tons of other ways to steal your thunder - everyone is trying to think of ways that you can circumvent her doing this, but it was just a comment that FH seemed to make. . it has no backing, or atleast that is how it sounded. Chances are, this hasn't even crossed her mind, unless someone is a mind reader, I don't know how it would. I wouldn't let an assumption of this sort to get you so worked up.

I'd be more concerned about her wearing white to your wedding or making an announcement at your RD or something stupid like that, if she does anything at all. To be honest, to think that anyone would revolve their life around anyone else to that extent is slightly arrogant in my opinion. And I don't meant that strictly to you - I mean it in general when people worry about someone planning their wedding too close or planning the birth of their child too close or if people worry about someone getting married before them. This is a huge life decision, and if she DID revolve anything around you, I'd just be flattered that I have THAT much of an impact on her life.

Don't stress over this - there will be SUCH bigger things to worry about as your day gets closer. And if she does try to steal your thunder - how will she? You'll be a beautiful bride and she'll be a jealous wench just trying to get some attention.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

Let it go. Consider it a form of flattery if this person imitates all that you and your FH do.

If this person is so intent on being in the spotlight, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it or to change this person, short of not inviting them to the wedding. If this person bugs you so much, cut your ties with them and move on.

What this person will do three years from now is an utter mystery - there is no way for you to control any of it. Should you confront this person about their future plans, you will come off as being a biatch big time.

You do realize that there is no way in freakin heck that anyone short of God could plan to give birth on the exact day and time of your wedding IN THREE YEARS.

Let it go, don't focus on this person.
Instead focus on planning one of the happiest days of your life.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

you do know that it is 2008 now right?
Maybe you should just have a baby first. Beat her to the punch

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

Someone may have said this but your getting married on 9/4/2011? for certain, thats years away.

I mean can't you just not tell anyone your date until a few months before?

Or lie and say you changed the date to something earlier?

Its really starnge to me, but if it really is the case thats she's planning this, I think thats the way to approach it...

talking to her will make it worse, especially if your accusing her of something clearly she loves doing.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by yswedding

Or lie and say you changed the date to something earlier?

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Message edited 7/29/2008 3:48:37 PM.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I refuse to believe this is even a real question. (someone is joking right) (there have been some fake post recently with questions). You are worrying that someone is going to try & have a baby on your wedding day? If that was actually happened I would give the girl a prize it is near impossible to plan to the day & if someone faked it that would be psycho. & you just want to stay away from psycho. It someone plotted that far in advance guez I would feel for the kid that is born just to steal thunder
IMO

Message edited 7/29/2008 5:26:53 PM.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by chakrasdeosil

If this person is in labor then my FH's parents will be forced to choose between a birth or their son's wedding. And I dont want any problems, I really dont.

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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

this person may very well do something to upstage your wedding but it's going to be something they will have very good control of.

so I wouldn't worry about babies but you better think harder about what it might actually be and counter plan! or just go with the flow and IGNORE HER.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

if she was able to pull something like that off, then she is truly diabolical.

I don't think it's going to happen. So I think she'll try to do it another way -- your best bet is to distance yourself from her starting ASAP and give her zero info about your wedding

good luck

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by apriladam9206

you do know that it is 2008 now right?
Maybe you should just have a baby first. Beat her to the punch

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