Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

One of the things scares me more than anything else is the possibility of NON-INVITED GUESTS.

I have heard so many horror stories about people RSVPing for 3 or 4 when the invitation was only intended for 1 or 2. And then you have those guests who RSVP for 1 or 2 and then a 3rd cousin or old college roommate shows up with them.

Budget restraints and limited space are my concerns.

Anyone else afraid of the same thing happening at your wedding?? What should we do?

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

I am lucky in this aspect. I have all adults coming, mostly family, therefore, they know whoever the invitation is addressed to, is who is invited.

What my friend did is filled out the reply card to say the names of those invited, and it worked where no one added onmore people (she also feared this problem).

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

People really bring more than the amount invited on the invitation?? That is completely rude! If a perons does not have their name addressed on the invitation, they obviously aren't invited.

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

My mother's friend RSVP'd 2 weeks late, via talephone, and left a message that she would be bringing her son (fine she was invited 'with guest' and he's a grown man), her daugher (extra) AND 'could they please call the reception site and see if they can set up a high chair? Because my daugter has a 2 year old'

I can talk about it now, but this woman caused more anguish than you can ever imagine, 2 weeks before the big day.
The I got the written RSVP card back with all the names writtnen in.
I also had one cousin RSVP with 2 extras. CHILDREN. 9 years old each.
(I didn't even fight it and to be honest, I completely didn't even see these 2 kids the entire reception)
1 family of 5 (they were all invited) RSVPd that their son would be bringing her SO. (son I haven't seen in about 10 years, SO I've NEVER met)

It goes on and on and on...

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

I can't believe people have the nerve to do such a thing.

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

I know.
AND to top it off, I got into MAJOR arguments with my mother becaue I was told that I WAS THE ONE being rude and unaccomodating by demanding that this woman find a sitter.
Whatever.
Water under the bridge now and it all worked out in the end anyway...just be prepared.
Some people just don't have a clue.

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

OH LORD!

I have a headache just thinking about what may happen. Any suggestions on how to 'tastefully' instruct our guests how to RSVP...or would that be tacky?

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

I don't know if there's anyway that you can tell them how to RSVP...
How 'and guest' could mean anything more than 'and 1 PERSON' is beyond my comprehension. IMO, it doesn't get any clearer.

The only thing you can do really is if/when it does happen, to call them up and say 'I'm sorry, but we really have a limited amount of space...' etc., etc.,

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

My Fi's grandmother, Claire, asked me how many people she was allowed to invite! I just told her that she needed to talk with my FMIL. However, I felt that since my own grandmother was bringing a date (her male companion of over 15 years), Claire could bring a friend. Claire heard that I said this, called me and told me of this male doctor friend she would like to invite. I said sure and my FMIL said that if I invited this male doctor friend, then I needed to invite his wife! I'm not getting in the middle of this! I then found out a couple of weeks after this that Claire must absolutely invite these 10 people because she sent presents to their grandchildren's weddings, bar mitvahs, etc., and they needed to return the favor and shower us with gifts! FI's family and I put our feet down on this because 1) that means FI and I need to cut our guest list; and 2) Claire has been spoiled all her life and always gets her way through temper tantrums, which I will not recognize. Claire also has a reputation in the family of inviting people herself to these type of functions. We will have to wait and see.

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

Trust me, whoever thinks of putting 3 or 4 in the rsvp will get a phone call and a piece of my mind.
They should all know better

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

My guest list is mostly composed of adults so I don't forsee a problem. However, if someone does pull a stunt like that..I am going to sic my Mother on them..she thinks it is very rude and she has no problem telling people that. I love my MOM!!

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

Can I borrow your Mom for a little while??

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

A great excuse that works really great is you have reached the maximum that hall allows.

Good luck ladies.

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

it is amazing how truly rude some people can be!

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

If this happens to us I am fully prepared to call people and explain to them that only people on the invite may attend. Of course I'll do it in a nice, but firm manner.

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

I hate when people are rude like that!! The nerve! I put everyones name on the response card in order to clear the confusion and the names on the inner envelope...if they don't get it then I am gonna be at a loss for words!

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

that didn't happen to me. One person responded 2, then showed up with his 2 teenage daughters instead of his wife?? the tables had to be moved around, thank god I didn't hear about it till the next day!

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

Exactly what Lizlen said...I hope FH's family is prepared for my mouth b/c I'm not about to let them run my wedding!

my FMIL's cousin wrote out the guest list for me when I asked FMIL to give me an idea of who she wanted at the wedding....the cousin took the liberty of putting her two grown children on the list - both of whom I've never met and am expected to invite with guest - as of now I'm not inviting them and I don't care about the war that comes with it! People can be so rude!!

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

Well, in my case, if someone just decides that most have an extra person, I am going to call them and explain that it is a NO NO situation. I can't afford more people than those that I am inviting!

Re: Let's talk about guests who have their OWN guest list

This is a concern of mine as well. We are inviting a few people whom I think will do this,but if this does happens a phone call will be made to straighten it out.