Anyone else having

major family drama after the wedding????

Husband and I have been dealing with some very selfish family members who are mad at me for a few things that went wrong. The photographer didnt take pic of stepmother and I alone, my mother was hysterical crying my entire reception for attention, and the dj didn't play as many slow songs as he should of. I still dont think its anything major but my father and step-mother are completely upset with me because they think I did something wrong even though those mistakes were not my faut and I apologized. I dont want to speand my first few months as husband and wife upset about little hiccups that happened.....

Re: Anyone else having

are they really complaining about not enough slow songs being played? Honestly, thats their problem to deal with and that is ridiculous to even bring up. The wedding is over with and nothing can be done now, complaining won't make it any better. I would talk to them and say how hurt you are that they are criticizing your wedding and before they are negative with you they should think before they speak. It was your wedding and tell them how you feel to hear someone complaining about it and that it hurts you.

Re: Anyone else having

I tried telling them how much they're hurting me and they just say 'you....do you know how hurt we are...) They are so selfish.....

Thanks for the advice though.

Re: Anyone else having

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Posted by Espo22

are they really complaining about not enough slow songs being played? Honestly, thats their problem to deal with and that is ridiculous to even bring up. The wedding is over with and nothing can be done now, complaining won't make it any better. I would talk to them and say how hurt you are that they are criticizing your wedding and before they are negative with you they should think before they speak. It was your wedding and tell them how you feel to hear someone complaining about it and that it hurts you.

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Agreed. How selfish of them and HORRIBLE for them to tell you these things. They should be respectful of you and your wedding, and you may need to just tell them to back off. Tough love may be the way to go.

Re: Anyone else having

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Posted by LeeLee111

I tried telling them how much they're hurting me and they just say 'you....do you know how hurt we are...) They are so selfish.....

Thanks for the advice though.

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I think you need to hit them right between the eyes and TELL them that they are being selfish. This was YOUR wedding, not theirs.

We had to deal with a situation where in the end, my uncle did not come to our wedding and now does not speak to my family. He wanted to parade his new (third) wife around and we told him to back off. He was also insulted that we invited his children, from whom he is estranged, which only sealed the deal that he wouldnt' be coming.

You can't save people from themselves, but you can tell them to quit behaving like a bunch of children whose balloon got popped at the fair. Really, I'd tell them that they are being selfish and that you don't want to hear about it again.

If they are acting like this over a not-taken photograph, what is it going to be when they don't get to hold your children before the other parent?!

I don't envy the situation you are in, but stand up for yourself and tell them to quit it.

Re: Anyone else having

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Posted by LeeLee111

I tried telling them how much they're hurting me and they just say 'you....do you know how hurt we are...) They are so selfish.....

Thanks for the advice though.

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Are they really hurt about these things? Doesn't seem like anything major, I understand not taking a pic with her alone but doesn't she understand how fast the day goes and your head is spinning while taking pics and it was just a mistake. Sorry you are dealing with this.

Re: Anyone else having

Thanks for helping......I'm so over all of them. They even blame me for my mother crying the entire day.

Re: Anyone else having

I am so sorry you are going through this, and I agree they are actinf very selfish! I experienced a lot of FIL drama prior to the wedding so I can understand your frustration. As time passes they will learn to get over it. How is your DH reacting to this?

Re: Anyone else having

Wow, I agree with the above posts that they are the ones being selfish and it was your day so if anything these things should bother you not them. I hope that this passes for you, until then try to remember that you and your DH are your own family now and this shouldn't put any further strain or concern on your first few months married.

Re: Anyone else having

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Posted by del Rio

Wow, I agree with the above posts that they are the ones being selfish and it was your day so if anything these things should bother you not them. I hope that this passes for you, until then try to remember that you and your DH are your own family now and this shouldn't put any further strain or concern on your first few months married.

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I agree

Re: Anyone else having

you have some very selfish family members.

wow, I am so sorry you have to deal with that.

My DH & I DJ weddings and unless the bride & groom REQUEST slow songs, we only play them during dinner and minimally throughout the night. Most people want to GET DOWN.

eff your family members...

Re: Anyone else having

Im sorry you had to deal with that ! I also had to deal with selfish people like my mother who at the end of the reception was hammered and needed a ride home and told me to find someone and when I told her to get a cab she got pizzed like it was my fault she didnt have a ride so when I went to find her a ride she walked home 1 am and she was in a dress and walked 3 miles

Re: Anyone else having

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Posted by What

you have some very selfish family members.

wow, I am so sorry you have to deal with that.

My DH & I DJ weddings and unless the bride & groom REQUEST slow songs, we only play them during dinner and minimally throughout the night. Most people want to GET DOWN.

eff your family members...

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i agree, i told Dj i wanted a few slow songs but not to play too many.

Re: Anyone else having

they should get over themselves the day was about you and DH not about them.

Re: Anyone else having

stop apologizing!! they should not be making you feel bad over ANYTHING about your day. dont let their negativity ruin the beautiful memory of your wedding.

the next time they bring it up say: 'we've already discussed this. i've apologized and there is nothing more to say on the matter. let's talk about something else'

good luck!!

Re: Anyone else having

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Posted by LeeLee111

I tried telling them how much they're hurting me and they just say 'you....do you know how hurt we are...) They are so selfish.....

Thanks for the advice though.

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Unbelievable how adults can be so selfish.

Did you and your husband enjoy the day ?
That is all that really matters.

If your dad and stepmom want to be 'hurt' over such trivial things, then they just need to get over it. Do not let them bring up the subject again.
If they do, just tell them to get over it, what is done is done and they need to move on. There is nothing that can be done to rectify something that happened in the past.

Your mom, I am supposing was crying tears of joy ?

Re: Anyone else having

I say turn your phone off to everyone for the next few months. I cant believe theyre doing this to you. Maybe you need to go off on all of them and put them in their place. Let them know this was supposed to be your day and you couldnt be responsible for everything when you were just trying to focus on being happy and marrying the man you love. God people are so crazy and it ***** when family does this kind of thing.

Re: Anyone else having

Thank you so much ladies, you made me feel much better.... And unfortunately no my mom was not crying tears of joy, shes an attention getter and permanent victim.....,MMy husband is so fed up with everyone's garbage too.

Love you ladies, thanks for being there for me.

Re: Anyone else having

It was not as bad as the way your describing - but yes I had MAJOR family drama during our wedding and YES the (his side) were complaining about alot after the wedding was over to my DH. The songs that were not played, not enough slow ones, they couldn't take home the flowers, the pictures that were not being taken with them in it , how I was not going out of my way to make tons of conversations with his side - the wedding planner, the favors that everyone didn't get b/c they were not placed on the tables but on a separate table alone. The list goes on.. and on..


Just try to ignore it , it will soon come to pass. You have already apologized that you were unaware and so on. Somehow people seem to think that you and your husbands day is all about them too. and that they play these very important special roles that they want to be clearly identified at your wedding and they want their needs to be met and acknowledged. IF GOD forbid they are not, they either can act out like your family , or shut down and never tell you.Years later maybe you will hear about and why they held a grudge.

My whole thing is be merry, drink , and GETOVER IT! Be happy for the couple that have vowed to share a bond the rest of their lives that hopefully can measure up to hopes and dreams into the future. It really isn't all 'about' them!

Re: Anyone else having

08 Crashing....we are having these problems BEFORE the wedding with his side....i seriously am just thinking of buying tiarras for all of them for the day of so they can ALL feel VERY SPECIAL and scream LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE! all night.
I have realized that with certain people NOTHING you ever do will be good enough and no matter what people will have something to say...so really all u can do is smile and nod....and not let it bother you....this too shall pass!