Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

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Posted by jtgarsik

honestly - i dont think u're ever 'ready' whether we think we are or not! nothing can really prepare u for a child..except - well..having one! lol. i really just want to wait because i'm enjoying time with my hubby

i DO think being financially stable is a good thing...because we all know that having a baby is $$$$. so in a perfect world - yes. i'd like to be set financially. however life throws u curveballs...so if i got preggo tomorrow i wouldn't let money rob my joy! also in a few years, if we're still not 100% set financially, i wouldn't let that be a factor of NOT having a baby. because who knows - we could be waiting forever lol.

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Agreed.

For me I tried to be more specific. Like these are my goals I'd like to accomplish first before I plan for a baby, or things I want to enjoy more of first.

But I could get preggo tomorrow and I think we'd be just fine.

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by jtgarsik

honestly - i dont think u're ever 'ready' whether we think we are or not! nothing can really prepare u for a child..except - well..having one! lol. i really just want to wait because i'm enjoying time with my hubby

i DO think being financially stable is a good thing...because we all know that having a baby is $$$$. so in a perfect world - yes. i'd like to be set financially. however life throws u curveballs...so if i got preggo tomorrow i wouldn't let money rob my joy! also in a few years, if we're still not 100% set financially, i wouldn't let that be a factor of NOT having a baby. because who knows - we could be waiting forever lol.

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Agreed.

For me I tried to be more specific. Like these are my goals I'd like to accomplish first before I plan for a baby, or things I want to enjoy more of first.

But I could get preggo tomorrow and I think we'd be just fine.

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exactly...i think when it happens u make things work no matter what.. but of course i'd like things to be easier which is why i'd LIKE to have our finances in order! these days it seems so hard sometimes BUT - when the time comes, i'm sure everything will work itself out

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

i think i have to be mentally ready more than financially.. a home and settled in our jobs would be great, but then i want to enjoy being us for now.. so i don't know.. i get the itch when i see babies.. but then i know that i am sooo not ready.. hopefully i am hoping that it would just dawn on me..

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

we always say the normal things like we want to travel, be financially ready, be lazy etc.

but to be 100% honest - we just have to see more good kids. dont get me wrong i love children but there are kids around us that are just so bad it makes me sick - and i know no one WANTS bad kids so if my kids turn out like that I will just be so disgusted. . .

but if we spend time with MY nieces and nephews ( ahem. . . ) they are such a joy to be around that we start thinking that maybe one day we will be ready but then BAM! we get hit with some other devil children again.

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

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Posted by AR31

i think i have to be mentally ready more than financially.. a home and settled in our jobs would be great, but then i want to enjoy being us for now.. so i don't know.. i get the itch when i see babies.. but then i know that i am sooo not ready.. hopefully i am hoping that it would just dawn on me..

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same here, its not just about money but also being mentally ready. I think for me personally it is to be settled again, that will help me alot. Then theres also the feeling I have to just enjoy our newlywed life alone. I feel that we can have babies in the future so no matter what that will happen. But right now this time we have alone, we could never get back and its the only time we do have. I think more about trips we can take, and things we can do. I do get the itch when I see babies too but then my desire to do things alone with my husband gets stronger which makes me realize that I am not ready.

I know I can do a great job if it happens and get ready but I just dont want to be ready yet.

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

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Posted by ant n tilde

we always say the normal things like we want to travel, be financially ready, be lazy etc.

but to be 100% honest - we just have to see more good kids. dont get me wrong i love children but there are kids around us that are just so bad it makes me sick - and i know no one WANTS bad kids so if my kids turn out like that I will just be so disgusted. . .

but if we spend time with MY nieces and nephews ( ahem. . . ) they are such a joy to be around that we start thinking that maybe one day we will be ready but then BAM! we get hit with some other devil children again.

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i dont mind bad kids dh thinks I am nuts. Not bad in an evil OMG this kid is crazy type of way. But some kids are sassy and a bit more hyper and that part I do not mind. Those kids have alot of personality I don't know why but those feisty kids crack me up. Again DH thinks I have serious issues. Actually now thinking about the description I gave, feisty, sassy and hyper is a great description of DH so i guess it is what i like, funny that DH hates all that but doesnt see thats how he is

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

Finances, yes - but more so for me is having a house. We live in a one bedroom apt now and the baby would have to sleep in a crib in the middle of the living room or in our bed. NO room. We are moving next fall and I hope that by this time 2009, we'll have a baby or be preggers.

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

we always say the normal things like we want to travel, be financially ready, be lazy etc.

but to be 100% honest - we just have to see more good kids. dont get me wrong i love children but there are kids around us that are just so bad it makes me sick - and i know no one WANTS bad kids so if my kids turn out like that I will just be so disgusted. . .

but if we spend time with MY nieces and nephews ( ahem. . . ) they are such a joy to be around that we start thinking that maybe one day we will be ready but then BAM! we get hit with some other devil children again.

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i dont mind bad kids dh thinks I am nuts. Not bad in an evil OMG this kid is crazy type of way. But some kids are sassy and a bit more hyper and that part I do not mind. Those kids have alot of personality I don't know why but those feisty kids crack me up. Again DH thinks I have serious issues. Actually now thinking about the description I gave, feisty, sassy and hyper is a great description of DH so i guess it is what i like, funny that DH hates all that but doesnt see thats how he is

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LOL you are nuts

don't get me wrong. . . i know kids cant be perfect but I feel like. . .you can be bad and still be age appropriate and pushing your parents' limits and trying to see what you are going to get away with. that is fine. what really makes me INSANE is when what they are doing is NOT age appropriate like a 5 year old telling her mother to get a life or a 10 year old fighting to wear some hoochie outfit. I LOSE my mind in those instances!!


ETA: or like throwing a tantrum in a restaurant, not being able to take a child out in public - that to me is unacceptable. Now I am NOT talking about babies or toddlers - I am talking about a six year old throwing a tantrum bc they dont serve french fries.

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

I live upstairs of two kids and all i hear is their mother SCREAMING at them and they just cry and cry. I don't blame the mom she is alone 95% of the time with these kids and all they do is fight and they are under 3! When she comes upstairs to get the rent she says how lucky we are to have such nice things and how we have things all out because she can't do it since her kids would pull on everything and break things.

Dh and i looked at each other and honestly my niece and nephew as good as they are they did trash the house a bit when toddlers and its like do you blame them - no! Do I want to deal with putting all our fragile stuff in storage, having nothing out, staying home most of the time, having extra work such as cooking,cleaning, prepping, money to be put aside for the child which we DO not have, all these things made us go No we are not ready.

When we both have patience and no credit card debt, no student loan to pay off and have some money saved for a house then yes we can have kids until then even though we we are older we will wait.

Re: Spin off: Having the itch.... what will make you 'ready?'

I think i would want to be more financially stable but who knows if that will ever happen. Most importantly though, i want to be more selfless. What i mean by that is i want to be at a place in my life where all the things like vacations, and going out to dinner arent important to me anymore. Right now, im still a little selfish and want to do all these things. When i do have a family in a year or two, i want them to be my focus and not wishing i had gotten to do other things. Also, im enjoying my time with FH. Once you have kids, its never just the two of you again and i want to take advantage of it while i can!