How formal does an engagement party have to be?

How long after you get engaged can you have an engagement party?

I seem to be reading all these plans for engagement parties at restaurants or halls with huge guest lists and favors for everyone which I feel inevitably will end up costing thousands of dollars...

I'd totally be cool with and would really just prefer having like a BBQ or something .-- just an excuse to get people together, have some cake and drinks, etc.

I'm not a native Long Islander and I know things are a little different here on the expectation level compared to in the midwest but am I totally way off base?

Will people find just a low-key bbq or get together as being cheap/lame?

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

we did ours 7months after we got engaged.... and we actually did a big backyard party... FIL have a tiki bar in the back yard and its the party house... FH and I just wanted to hangout and have a good time with friends and family. nothing crazy

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

We did ours five months after we got engaged, eight months before the wedding. We had thirty people and did it at my parents' house. It was catered, though.

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

We got engaged in September and our engagement party is in January.

We decided to go to a restaurant by our house that actually fits the amount of people we invited [125] but the restaurant gave us a great deal.. full 4 course meal with vienese hr and open bar for $38pp.

FH's parents & My parents are throwing it for us, so we are greatful for that.
FH & I are just paying for the DJ [which is a family friend & it's costing $300] and we are paying for the favors, centerpieces & any other decorations that I mainly bought at the dollar store & have so far only spent $150 for 12 centerpieces & decorations!



It's going to be a winter wonderland theme too!

But I think the engagement party is really your choice, I would of been fine with a backyard BBQ but we have too many people to fit in my backyard lol

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

We did ours 2 months after we got engaged, and 16 months before the wedding.

We had a brunch buffet, about 50 people, at my dad's country club. I would've loved to have done a bbq in my backyard, but it was February, so that was out of the question, and I practically grew up at the country club. Actually, my dad wanted me to get married there, so this was my compromise We still kept it pretty casual thought and everyone LOVED the brunch idea.

For favors, I just did chocolate truffles from Morgan's Bay Confections. They were a huge hit.

ETA: I did not have a dj, I just made a few mixed cd's and had them playing over the standard house system. And we didn't do CP's either. The club has candles on their tables to begin with, so I just went with those.

Message edited 11/5/2009 7:55:45 AM.

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

FH and I got engaged in November of last year, but because of financial issues, we're not hvaing our engagement party until this summer. I don't think there is a specific amount of time to have an engagement party? hah, i don't know, but we have a very casual family. They don't mind!

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

My parents through a surprise engagement party for us at their house about 5 months after our engagement. Just family and close family friends. It was catered, but nothing to fancy! Honestly, if you want a more low key thing, go for it! It's your wedding, and you can make those calls!

Message edited 11/5/2009 4:18:40 PM.

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

My FH & I got engaged in sept of this year & were having our engagement party in June !!! I really don't think it really matters how soon or later, if u have 1 or not its up to the couple and or family !!!!!

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

we are not having one, but I have been to one that was just friends and family at a city bar hanging out having a good time (very relaxed) to one that was at a hall and felt just like a wedding. What ever you want to do is up to you

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

An engagement party is anything you want it to be. We got engaged in July and are having our party @ a restaurant on 11/22 with 65 people. I prefered a backyard tent party, but we were limited to a time frame and November is to cold for an outdoor party. Whatever you do it will be great because it is about you and your FH

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

i had mine 4.5 mths after we got engaged at a hall with a dj, favors, etc. but u can do watever u want!! it will be great no matter what.

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

I want a simple one too. I decided were going to so ours in june or late may. I want to have an outside party were just going to rent tents table and chairs. Im going to cook the food myself and hire 2 caterers to make sure everything goes smoothly. im also just using an ipod as the music and prob a keg to make it easy and cheap.

Re: How formal does an engagement party have to be?

We had a barbeque about 9 months after our engagement. We wanted to wait for the summer and it worked well for our families. (There are a lot of teachers who couldn't do it during the school year)