FMIL

FH just called me and said he just got off the phone with his mom... he said he told her if she doesnt get help that shes not coming to the wedding... then he said to her actually consider yourself not invited at this point...

I dont know why, all of a sudden he decided to tell her she wasnt invited... we've talked about the possibility of her not being there, but he never said it to her... as far as i know...

im assuming she was drunk and harrassing him all morning... but she pretty much does that every day...

she knows the church and the hall and the date of the wedding... so even if he tries to keep her away, i have a feeling she will show up anyway... its still 8 months away, and since FFIL is really struggling to survive i doubt he would pay for her to go away again... i dont blame him either, shes gone away twice since FH and I have been together and both times it took her only weeks to get back off the wagon...

whatever... i dont want her there, and she has burned a lot of her bridges with her sisters and brother since the incided when her sister was dying and she started a fight with her kids in the hospital... i just dont want a drunk looney showing up at my wedding and ruining it...

Re: FMIL

For now I would think he needs to cut off all contact with her until she gets her crap in order. Have him write her a letter offering her help or better yet give her an ultanimum, like if you want to be in your grandchildren's life one day, you won't have someone drunk around them. It may sound harsh but it will most likely work.

Re: FMIL

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

For now I would think he needs to cut off all contact with her until she gets her crap in order. Have him write her a letter offering her help or better yet give her an ultanimum, like if you want to be in your grandchildren's life one day, you won't have someone drunk around them. It may sound harsh but it will most likely work.

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i know hes pretty much done that in one way or another even before we got engaged... i just think she is so far gone that not matter what we do she is never going to stop...

she needs to be forced into rehab and none of us can afford to pay for it...

Re: FMIL

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

For now I would think he needs to cut off all contact with her until she gets her crap in order. Have him write her a letter offering her help or better yet give her an ultanimum, like if you want to be in your grandchildren's life one day, you won't have someone drunk around them. It may sound harsh but it will most likely work.

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i know hes pretty much done that in one way or another even before we got engaged... i just think she is so far gone that not matter what we do she is never going to stop...

she needs to be forced into rehab and none of us can afford to pay for it...

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Well yea, you can't force her. And even that sometimes won't work. Unless the person wants help telling them there's a problem won't help bc to them there is none. When she acts up though the best thing to do is cut off contact otherwise she's gonna make your lives miserable. She will most likely never be better though so it's comes to a point of learning to accept it...

Re: FMIL

OY! I'm sorry you have to go through this! Maybe it will turn around. And when the wedding gets closer, if you are really worried about it, then look into hiring security for the wedding. I know if anyone messes with a fellow bride, I'm down to kick some booty! But seriously, security at a wedding isn't uncommon anymore.
Good luck and you are in my prayers!

Re: FMIL

I know... FH has tried to cut off contact. The last time he did that was when she started the fight at the hospital... he went to her house and took her phone away because she was harrassing her sisters kids... (yes her sister who was on her death bed) ...

she decided to walk to my house to get her phone... but on the way she fell (because she was so drunk)... there were witnesses that said she could barely walk... she fell, hit her nose, broke it, busted it open and she spent the night in the ER...

Really no matter what we do she creates a problem.

Re: FMIL

i'm so sorry

i would just try and back away from the situation for awhile, and see if things cool down

Re: FMIL

WOW

All I can say is that if you need a sounding board, FM me.

Hang in there!!
Good luck to you and your FH

Re: FMIL

Re: FMIL

I am soooo very sorry you two are going through all of this right now.
Your in my thoughts and prayers

Re: FMIL

thanks ladies