Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

Please tell me that there are other brides out there who are HIGHLY irritated by guests who did not attend the wedding and did not send gifts or even cards! Some of these people are family that didn't even send a congrats card! Also, we had a small wedding so we really invited only close friends and family. I'm pretty mad about it. Please help me get over it! People are so rude! I would never ignore someone's wedding,especially family!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

Sadly, that is the way some people are.

We did receive some gifts from people who didn't attend, but not everyone.

I had someone who attended that said they send me the card in the mail. Well, just like his RSVP never came, neither did the gift.

The best part....DH's MOM didn't even give him a card. Supposedly she didn't have anything to put in it, so she didn't want to give him/us an empty card.

The least she could have done was given an empty card like she did for our engagement. But whatever. Not like she didn't know the wedding was coming and could have put $ aside.

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

I know a lot of people say a wedding isn't about gifts and money and I agree.
However, it is sort of annoying when you attended someone's wedding and gave them a very generous gift, and they can't attend yours and don't even send a card.

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

I'm more upset about the guests that DID attend the wedding and didn't give a gift!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

i had quite a few family members that came but with no gift. not even a card. ..i was very hurt by this.

as for the people who RSVP no' i didn't expect anything from them, but some did send and it was awfuly generous

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

I understand. We had many that did not go and we did not get gifts. I also had a bunch of people that did not go to my shower and did not give anything.

Also, we had some people who came to the wedding who never gave a gift! This I was the most suprised about. I know we cant saw anything.

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

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Posted by Summertimegal424

i had quite a few family members that came but with no gift. not even a card. ..i was very hurt by this.

as for the people who RSVP no' i didn't expect anything from them, but some did send and it was awfuly generous

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Ditto!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

My wedding is in 10 days yet, but I am definitely fearing this as well because of precedent that has been set for the other events. One portion of FH's extended family shared an engagement gift and a shower gift, from like 15 people. I'm surely expecting a shared wedding gift as well. Majority of the 'no' rsvps for both shower and wedding did not send a gift, but I wasn't expecting that they would. We received 4 shower gifts from nos (1 of which we just received last week because FMIL sent a shower gift to her daughter that she couldn't make OOT in November, and I guess they thought since my shower was in August they would have gotten away with it, but since FMIL sent a gift then they had to really belatedly reciprocate ) With wedding RSVPs we received 3 gifts from Nos, but one of those 3 were from people who originally said yes but had to change their rsvp last minute, so not really counting that. And we have like 95 nos haha.

Ehh...I'm over it at this point. Certainly not expecting to remotely recoup what we put in, but I'm a little nervous about some people that have no sense of etiquette.

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

we had a few no gifters!!
DH's mom didnt give us a gift till almost 3 months later!!! and really it was sooo not even worth waiting for!

people are different i would never pull something like that

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

We were only irritated by people who sent gifts for DH's brother's wedding but not ours. I just don't understand that.

Also, I was annoyed by people who came to the wedding and didn't give a gift, particularly one of my bridesmaids.

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

SIGH. Thank you, ladies. I love this website. When I am upset and think that no one else can understand the crap that I am going through, liweddings is my savior.

And yes, I agree that it bothers me MOST when you have given someone, especially close friends/family, a generous wedding gift and they give you nothing in return - not even a card. I guess I will get over it eventually, but I'm having tough time!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

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Posted by llupario14

I'm more upset about the guests that DID attend the wedding and didn't give a gift!

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ita..we had 7 people who came and did not give a gift

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

We had tons of people who came but didn't give us presents, and some who couldn't come but did. For the guests who attended, most of the ones who didn't give gifts were from OOT -- we were just glad they were there.

But I could understand your being upset about it. It's a tough time for a lot of people, and I'm sure they very much enjoyed your wedding!!!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

Yeah, but at least a card would have been nice! Especially when we gave my hubby's close cousin $300 and they didn't give us squat - not even a card!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

I guess I am one of those that was happy that people came to my wedding to celebrate with me. i had people that came with no gifts and people that didnt come and no gifts and it didnt bother me.

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

I was only bothered by the few people who came and didn't give a gift. I don't think anyone should be expected to send a gift if they don't attend an event. I know in my college days I've declined an invite because I knew I couldnt afford to give a gift and didn't want the host to pay for a plate for me. With this economy I'm sure there are a lot more than just broke college kids who decline invites b/c they just cannot afford the extra expense of a gift. I didn't expect any of the bridal party to give gifts either, they paid for dresses and tuxes and showers and hair and bachelor and bachelorette parties. That's just IMO though!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

i didn't expect gifts from people who RSVP'ed no, but a couple did send gifts, which was nice.

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

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Posted by gina409

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Posted by llupario14

I'm more upset about the guests that DID attend the wedding and didn't give a gift!

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ita..we had 7 people who came and did not give a gift

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ME TOO!!! I had like 4 people who attended our wedding and didnt even give us a dam card!!! Ridiculous!!!!!

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

I can totally relate.

I had only one guest who did not bring a card or a gift.

Now, she was a very good friend of mine. She makes a ton of money and I know is doing quite well for herself.

She came with this OBNOXIOUS date and literally tried to ruin my wedding. All out of jealousy.

If she had come with good intentions, this would not have bothered me.

But this was the second thing she did like this... She also ditched my shower AFTER my she RSVP'd yes to my Mom and then never even gave me a gift or never even called.

I wrote her off. I don't need people like that.

As far as others- I know this is an extremely tough time for most people. People do what they can. However, I wouldn't attend the wedding if I couldn't cover my plate and would send a small gift in the mail instead. That's just me. I know it cost a lot of money to pay per person. Some people don't understand that when they go empty handed I guess....

Re: Disturbed by lack of wedding gifts...

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Posted by llupario14

I'm more upset about the guests that DID attend the wedding and didn't give a gift!

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ditto!!!!