Etiquette question - vent also

Ok, my mom is obsessing over my shower lately and insisted that we make a list tonight (ok, I'm closing on a house tomorrow.....don't really care about my shower right now). So whatever, I stand there while she rattles off names and I told her she forgot a few people and she says I'm doing the shower and I'm not inviting so and so.....ok, these are my friends that she isn't inviting and its not like she doesn't like them. She is picking and choosing who she wants there with no input from me.

THEN (this is the kicker) she said I have to invite one of FH's groomsmen's wife. I'm not close with her at all, she has talked about me behind my back and I really don't like her. Mom claims that I can't have another one of the groomsmen's wife at the shoer and not this particular one. I say why not b/c I never see her and I really don't need someone at my shower who I know doesn't particularly like me and says mean things about me at my shower. At least with the other wife we're very close and we are at their house all the time.

What is the proper etiquette for this situation? Do I have to invite this witch?

Heeeeeeelllllllllp!!!!

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

In my opinion, I think it is proper to invite the groomsmen's wife. If you're lucky, maybe she won't go if there is that much animosity between the two of you.

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

Darn - I was hoping for a different answer

My FH can't stand her either and even he said I have to invite her. She doesn't know that I don't like her and has no idea that I found out what she said about me so I just act fake which I hate having to do. I wish I could like her but she has said some lousy things and has done a few lousy things to FH too.

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

Lori,

So sorry! But I am going to tell you what Mommy told me, after I told her not to invite FMIL. Smile pretty and play nice! Seriously I know it stinks. I am not good at faking liking someone, it is usually pretty obvious if I don't like you. But I think you have to invite her. Just think though that you will be too busy opening gifts to even pay attention to her!!

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

I have to go with swags on this and say smile pretty and play nice. Hey, maybe you'll get a nice gift out of it! Ok, that's not being nice now!

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

She'll probably get me a set of knives and hope I cut myself with them

I know I have to play nice but I really don't like her **stamps feet and whines like a kid**

Its bad enough FMIL and FSIL have to come....now I have to add this one.......jeeeeeez

There better be plenty of alcohol at this party :)

Swags - good thing you like me LOL I'd hate to be on your bad side girl! I'll be sure to tell John Anthony to increase my chances with him LOL

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

You'll be able to completely avoid her. I barely had time to talk to anyone at length at my shower. Just say hi, thank her for coming and move on to nicer people. It won't be so bad. But you can stomp your feet and complain anytime! At my shower, i had a glass of wine in my hand before I even took my jacket off. You'll get through it.

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

I don't think she'll come but she may just out of curiosity.....you never know.

I love the wine idea Helene........I'm so totally doing that :)

Now if I could only get my mom to chill out with the wedding I'd be set........

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

proper etiquette says for you to invite her... although its up to you whether you want to follow that rule

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

I think you should invite her but make a compromise with your mom that then your friends should be invited. The more the merrier and the less you have to see the other one!

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

I invited the wives of my husband's friends...even thought I hardly know them. Most just sent a gift anyway.

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

I didn't invite the GM's wives, unless I was also close with them.

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

Can't tell you if it is proper etiquette or not...but I have thrown etiquette out the door when it comes to some things. I believe taht it is your shower and you should do what you want to do!!!!!!!

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

Yup! She has to come, but don't give her credibility by allowing her to upset you ever and especially at your shower. You only get one! She would want that more than you stabbing yourself with her gift!

Hang in there

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

NO WAY!! do not invite her...I don't think Emily Post would say a word...you don't have to invite everyone from FH's side...its about the bride...

one of DH's GM's FW tried to break DH and I up (so she could date him) she talked behind my back, treated me awfully...no way was I inviting her...

nor did she to her shower (I was her GM's wife)...and let me tell you...that was fine!!

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

Who diserves an invite?

Generate, on your own, a list of all the people you think the bride wants at the shower: bride-to-be's friends, co-workers and her or her fiancé's relatives

GM's wife...is NOT FH's relative

from this site...not emily post...but who cares...its the answer you want...

Re: Etiquette question - vent also

At my sil's shower we just had family and a few close friends. There was no co-workers, no extended family members wives. I would say no to inviting her. I am sure they will invite her if they are insisting on it so be prepared. But like everyone else said on here, you'll be too busy with your own stuff to worry about her. Just remember if she does give you knives only give her a penny.