Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

I swear I am going to beat someone to a pulp.

FMIL just called me and said to me "Anne Marie, George, their daughter Katie, AM's sister, the husband and AM's mother have to be invited to the e-party"



3 weeks ago when we were finalizing invites FMIL said heck no those people do not have to be invited.

So the invites go out and AM gets mad as to why she did not receive an invitation. She goes and calls Jackie (FI's aunt and FMIL's sister) complaining of how we could not invite her, what is wrong with us, who do we think we are, she is like family and is insulted we didnt invite her to the party.

So FMIL calls me tonight whispering over the phone because Jessica (FI's cousin) is there and FMIL tells me that we have to invite the whole AM crew because apparently their is a family war going on and its just "the right thing to do"

She said she would call my mom on Monday and go over prices with her and is offering to pay for those individuals.

I called my mom and she is so mad. She doesnt care about the money its the principal. We are the bride and groom and all decisions are ours and final. She is mad how FMIL is constantly telling us we have to invite certain people "because its the right thing to do"

I dont blame my mom for being mad, but what am I to do. UH

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

sorry to hear... i wonder what people are thinking when they decide a person should be invited.. it should only be up to the bride and groo... at least shes offering to pay but still...

ok just a vent here..
I have the opposite... my mom is too cheap to throw me an engagement party.. so today i told my friend(caterer) maybe id hire her cause i want to throw my own.. and she offers to do it all for me..

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

That is very sweet of your friend.

I just dont understand what gives people the nerve to dictate a person's wedding.

My mom put off throwing us one for as long as possible. She would give me a date, then push it back a week, then 2 weeks, then come up with some corny excuse and then finally after my complaining she put her butt in gear and booked it.

Of course she feels the need to remind me everyday how she and my dad are paying for this with no help from anyone and that she talks to people who tell her that FIL's should give half towards this party (his parents are divorced. You'd have a better chance of getting wine from a stone before you get a penny from his dad and his mom is paying our last hall payment)

So I feel the need to remind her oh well Brian and I are paying for an entire wedding and a house.

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

lol.. well for my sisters baby shower my mother and her MIL split the bill... actually MIL had more guests... they split my sisters friends and paid for their own side(MIL didnt want to screw my mom)...

very nice MIL my sister has

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

what are people thinking????

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

What I want to know is who the heck calls someone to complain they aren't invited? That woman is so rude!!! I wouldn't invite her Doesn't she know that if she is invited it's because she made a big stink! People never cease to amaze me

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

Stacey is right! What kind of person would complain and demand to be invited Even if my feelings were hurt I would just stay quiet rather than embarass myself even further. Some people must have been raised in a barn! No class and certainly no manners!

Good luck Melissa! You deserve better

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

i'm with stacey - just the fact that this woman called and complained????? what nerve!! and who wants to go to a party that they weren't invited to in the first place???

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

Thanks girls

When I told Brian what happened he flipped. He called his mom this morning and put his foot down. He told her listen this is not your decision nor is it anyone elses decision on who gets invited, she is not invited and if she has a problem with it she knows where I live come say it to my face.

for my FH. His mom said ok I am sorry.

This woman is not invited to anything. I am such a sap for keeping peace in the family and FI is not. He put his foot way down and told his mother to but out of anything with the guest list.

I am so happy its resolved.

Re: Why is wedding planning so hard when it involves family

Woo Hoo go Brian!!!!!!