Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

All along I had planned to hyphenate, I think more than anything else I wanted to b/c my dad passed away and I feel like I'm carrying my family's last name. but then I don't know what came over me when we were getting our marriage license, I only wrote in his last name. I think I've only signed my new last name once, so I don't even think it's fully sunk in yet, but I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way once they were married. I'm thinking it might just be normal b/c you're not used to the change.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

I can sort of relate to how you feel....I had all intentions of changing my name, but when all was said and done I just couldn't. I'm keeping my maiden name.
Hyphenating was not an option for me, otherwise I would have. It was too long and sounded rediculous.
I'm sure you will get used to it. It is normal to have these fellings. What would your dad would have wanted? Something tells me that he would have encouraged you to take your married name; Mrs. Johnson.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

I never considered hyphenating. But I do have to admit it is a big adjustment. I think it will take me a whole year to finally say to everyone when asked what my name is that it's Dunn and not my maiden name.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

I considered hyphenating, but our names just didn't sound right together. I have yet to actually sign to my married name and I somehow can't adjust to calling myself Mrs. McGinnis yet.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

oh man it is totally strange and i have had moments where ive asked myself if i really want to change my name. i think this is normal...most of us have lived 20 or 30 years with one name and to change it this far into life is a huge adjustment. dont feel bad about not hyphenating..take some time to consider it and practice using the new name. i am almost 2 months in and still not entirely used to it. you can always hyphenate if it still bothers you down the road.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

I thought of hyphanating because everyone was pressuring me to at least do that. After all how can I insult my new husbands family by not taking his name. blah blah blah But here I am 5 months later still happy with my decision. I kept my maiden name. When the little one comes s/he will have a hyphanated name.
If you are bothered by your decision you should call the town to see if you can have the record ammended. It hasn't been that long so maybe there wouldn't be a problem.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

You can still hyphenate if you want to. You can change everything to have both last names or to keep your maiden name as your middle name. You're not just bound to what is on the license. In fact, once married, you are legally free to use either or both names.

My mortgage / title to our house is actually under Kara P. Maiden Last b/c the bank messed up the paperwork. As long as I showed my marriage license, it wasn't a problem.

If you REALLY want to hyphenate, then you still can... However, I do agree that you should ask yourself what YOU truly want and what your dad would have wanted. I'm SURE he never would have wanted you to feel guilty for taking your new married name.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

i thought of hyphenating, but in the end i didn't. i only went down to social security and changed my name yesterday and i wanted to cry when i got home. my family is so, so close, that's it's hard not to share their name anymore!! but, i already have two legal first names, which is confusing enough as it is, so i couldn't see adding the hyphenated last name. i'm sure i'll get used to it eventually, but right now, i'm kinda sad

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

Yes.

My sister and I are the last in the family. My dad had all sisters as did my grandfather.

I wanted to hyphenate and DH made a big deal over it..I also forgot to hyphenate on my marriage license..I didn't think I needed to decide right then and there.

When I changed my name on my bank account I filled out a form with the name hyphenated and she as like 'oh you didn't need to fill this out' and threw it away, then wrote only my married name on all the paper work. Not realizing it, I signed everyhitng hyphenated. She gave me such a look and said 'oh i didn't realize you were doing it THAT way.'

We had already been sitting there for an hour (PITA bank.) so I just left it.

I am kinda sad though.

It helps that I am using my maiden name for work purposes.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

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Posted by rfilipofornow
i already have two legal first names,

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How do you have 2 legal first names? I didn't think that was possible...

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

I really wanted to but my hubby was upset if i did that ~ he is more old fashioned and it was not worth the fight!

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

I do and I don't! I miss but Marie would have been a real pain in theASS!

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

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Posted by Brian and Marie

I do and I don't! I miss Quagliariello but Marie Quagliariello-Petretti would have been a real pain in theASS!

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Due to the mix up with our closing papers, I had to sign Kara P. Maiden Married on every single document. It was a GIANT PITA!!! My married name is about as long as your maiden name.

I was, at that moment, so happy I didn't hyphenate!

But Helen -- Just remember, no matter your decision, YOU are the same person, you are still your father's daughter, and your father loves you and respects your decision from afar no matter what you choose.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

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Posted by Kara and Todd

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Posted by Brian and Marie

I do and I don't! I miss Quagliariello but Marie Quagliariello-Petretti would have been a real pain in theASS!

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Due to the mix up with our closing papers, I had to sign Kara P. Maiden Married on every single document. It was a GIANT PITA!!! My married name is about as long as your maiden name.

I was, at that moment, so happy I didn't hyphenate!

But Helen -- Just remember, no matter your decision, YOU are the same person, you are still your father's daughter, and your father loves you and respects your decision from afar no matter what you choose.

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awwww thank you Kara!!! I think you girls are all thinking the right way- my dad was kind of old school so he probably would've expected me to change my last name anyway!! thanks for making me think of it that way!!

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

my maiden name was Porr, so hypehnating it would sound silly.

ehehe

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

i did consider it ....because of course i HAD an awesome last name and all BUT i got over it and said just do it....i thought i was going to regret it but i dont think i have its just the transition into realizing that thats not u anymore can be REALLLLLLLLLLY WEIRD AND HARD AT TIMES....it gets easier especially when ur a teacher and they're calling u that left right and sideways...lol.....its really just a matter of adjusting....ull get used to it and ull be happy that u changed it when u have kids and u all have the last name....that was another reason why i knew it was the right decision for me

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

I hyphenated!!!!

Im still glad that I did it- but it is rather annoying.
I am a teacher- so I took his name (as far as the kids go)- but on paper I have both.

Problem is that 2 last names together = no first name on anything (drivers license, etc.)

My new first name is S, A
(Sharon Ann)

UGH!

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

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Posted by kahlua716

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Posted by rfilipofornow
i already have two legal first names,

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How do you have 2 legal first names? I didn't think that was possible...

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my first name is Randi Jean, with a space and no hyphen. i'm not sure how my parents worked it out that way, but they did. it is possible that it doesn't have a space (so RandiJean). that's what my Dad says and it's not really clear on my birth certificate, but i don't like it that way.

Re: Anyone feel like they kind of regret not hyphenating??

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Posted by JenMike331

i did consider it ....because of course i HAD an awesome last name and all BUT i got over it and said just do it....i thought i was going to regret it but i dont think i have its just the transition into realizing that thats not u anymore can be REALLLLLLLLLLY WEIRD AND HARD AT TIMES....it gets easier especially when ur a teacher and they're calling u that left right and sideways...lol.....its really just a matter of adjusting....ull get used to it and ull be happy that u changed it when u have kids and u all have the last name....that was another reason why i knew it was the right decision for me

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yea you definitely had the most AWESOME last name!!! I kind of think that was part of my reason for doing it too, that whole 'kids' thing lol!! oh and can i tell you it was still weird for me to see your married name in the wedding card you gave me?? (lol which now I know Mike wrote it and not you so it makes sense, but it just looked weird!!).