Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

Not at all! My mom is very happy for us and is wishing us the best... she's been the most supportive out of all of our parents.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

i dont feel guilty, but i feel bad that my parents are sad bc their oldest daughter is leaving the house. I talked to my mom (who lives in TX)the other day and she was like, cant you and FH move to TX? I said mom, maybe in a few years, but FH has his business in Florida. She then started crying, saying that she's going to be so lonely. I felt so bad!!

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I am super close to my mom and my parents don't realy have a good relationship so I feel like I don't want her to be alone. its the only thing that makes me feel bad about the whole wedding thing, although she says that I should just be happy.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

At the beginning I felt that way too... But now I kind of got over it because since we got engaged FH and I moved into our own apartment. I see my mom more now than when I lived in the house... Every Satuday morning we go shopping and evey Sunday morning we have breakfast together with my FH and his mom... And we call each other constantly... As long as you guys get to keep the same mother/daughter relationship it will be fine... Just try to make time for mom!!!

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I don't feel guilty about my family, but know that my FH does about his. He currently lives with his mother (parents are divorced) and he's the last one to leave the 'nest'. He's the oldest and closest to his mom, so there is a little guilt there.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

My parents are divorced and my mom is my best friend, so I did feel a little bad. But we have a standing dinner date (without my DH)every Monday night, and still go shopping together, etc. So long as you are still in the area just make a point of still seeing her.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

wow!! makes me feel sooo good that i'm not the only one feeling this way...i'll be moving 2 hours away from my parents after the wedding so my fiance can be near his job ( theres a lot more jobs in my field than his right now) and its killing me. i am REALLY close to my parents- they own their own business, so i would work for them growing up and we would talk while we were working and just got really close as a family ( my sister, too) AND none of my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins lives more than an hour away, so i grew up seeing them all the time too. the other day my mom said ' i'm gonna miss your company' and that made me sad. i also feel bad that i won't be around to help them with their business anymore-even though i have my own job now, they still depend on me a lot to pick up some of the slack... so its tough and its making me feel guilty. but, like my dad said ' thats the whole idea of raising kids- to see them grow up and be successful and go out on their own'. its a tough adjustment, but i think we'll all get used to it

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

i'm an only child so i def have mixed feelings about leaving my house.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

It is sad.....but I know once we settle in, I will be there 1-2x a week for dinner I am sure.....esp. the weekends. I cannot leave my moms cooking for too long.....Its just not in my blood!!!!!!!!

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I also feel a little sad about leaving. I have my son that lives with me at my parents house. It's just me, my mon and my sister (all us girls) and my dad So my son and my dad really close I know thats going to be hard for him when we both move out since he was the only other guy in the house. My dad misses him if were gone for more then one day.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I only feel bad that I have a 46 year old sister who isnt married and doesnt really date. People keep askingme about her. She is not a lesbian - this I know. I have decided to give her projects and help me out on somethings to make her important as long as she knows her limits. She will be making my ring bearers pillow and my flower girl baskets as well as the bathroom courtesy baskets. She is extremely talented and I will use her knowledge of the kitchen to help me register.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I know what you mean.... I am the last to leave the house, and the youngest and for years it has just been me and my mom doing everything. Although she loves my FH and is excited about the whole thing I am sad that she will be alone. I love her and she is my best friend so this is rally bitter sweet.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I have been living on my own since my late teens, so no leaving the nest guilt. My guilt stems from spending so much on a wedding when my mom could use the money. Fi and I are paying for everything ourseleves without any help, so I'm taking anything away from them, but I can't help but feel that I could have bought my mom a house with the money I'm spending.
I hope those feelings go away, my mom on the other hand is riddles with guilt about not being able to pay for her 'baby's' wedding. It's guilt all over the place.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I can understand exactly how you feel!
When I got married my mom was so sad (happy for me and DH) that I would be moving out and 'leaving her'. I did feel a little guilty because as they youngest I was leaving an empty nest behind!

Well For me it just got worse, My mom was diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks after my wedding, so then I felt really guilty! Luckily I have a great DH who was really understanding that he was not my #1 priority such a short time after our wedding! I spent so much time with my mom, generally coming over on TUesdays after work, then on Thursdays DH would meet me there for dinner and then over the weekend!

Well my Mom died in November so I felt really obligated to my dad who didnt do anything around the house, except make a mess, for 25 years. SO while my mom was sick I had to teach him to do laundry, explain the finer details about how to vacuum with a dog who sheds her full coat every day, and other household things! When she died I had to help with the banking and I felt bad that my dad might be lonely because he was used to me and my mom and suddendly no one was there. Even though he had TONS of friends and family who are all retired and live within 5 minutes of his house.
Luckily for me, my brother moved home from Upstate NY and that has been a huge burden off of me.

But back to your inital question I did and still do feel alittle guilty for leaving my home. But I know that my family is happy for me. I talk to my dad regularly, I go over his house about once a week, I invite him over. My advice is remember that our parents love us unconditionally and they want all the best for us. Try to find a nice medium of beign there for your Mom but also for your hubby, and talk to your hubby. My DH is great and I have been very lucky with him because he understands my alliance to my dad and never makes me feel like I have to choose between him and my family.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

Extremely I have expressed this to my Mom and she just said that she was so happy that I was so happy and that she would be fine...she still has my little brother at home but I still feel bad

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

Yes, while I'm 34 and have been very independent I've spent the last seven years taking daily care of my handicapped Dad. I moved back in after his stroke and was not only responsible for 100% of his daily needs but long term needs as well. He is my only living parent.

I was responsible for daily meals, laundry, cleaning and upkeep of the house, buying his clothes, scheduling and taking him to all of his doctor's appointments, food shopping, driving him to any place he needed to go, handling ALL of his house bills, medical and financial paperwork. I am his power of attorney and literally his voice as he has lost the ability to speak or read. Everything must come through me. He is not as able as a 7 year old even though he can understand fully.

He cannot live on his own or prepare dinner for himself. My brtoher still lives with him and he has part-time help come in. I am still responsible for all of his medical appointments, paperwork and prescriptions, buying his clothes, things he needs for the house, and all financial matters. Also his social stimulation... making sure he sees his friends and taking him out of the house.

This is beyond an empty nest. He really needs someone and I felt guilty.

At the same time I have seen everyone at work, family and friends get married and start families. My Dad's care and a 60 hour plus a week job consumed my life. What's a hobby? What is being bored? It was hard for me even to get a night off to go out on a date. I would awake at 6 am on Saturdays and clean the house until at least 1 pm. All I ever wanted was a person to love and a family of my own. While I love my Dad I am entitled to that as much as anyone else. He is in a much worse off situation that able bodied empty-nesters but has never once given me one ounce of guilt. This is the reason why I moved in with FH early. As a primary caregiver, I had a significant transition to make into the next stage of life.

Yes, a big adjustment for me but all involved knows it's the right thing and life moves on. I just have another dimension to juggle.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

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Posted by Kelly9904

I can understand exactly how you feel!
When I got married my mom was so sad (happy for me and DH) that I would be moving out and 'leaving her'. I did feel a little guilty because as they youngest I was leaving an empty nest behind!

Well For me it just got worse, My mom was diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks after my wedding, so then I felt really guilty! Luckily I have a great DH who was really understanding that he was not my #1 priority such a short time after our wedding! I spent so much time with my mom, generally coming over on TUesdays after work, then on Thursdays DH would meet me there for dinner and then over the weekend!

Well my Mom died in November so I felt really obligated to my dad who didnt do anything around the house, except make a mess, for 25 years. SO while my mom was sick I had to teach him to do laundry, explain the finer details about how to vacuum with a dog who sheds her full coat every day, and other household things! When she died I had to help with the banking and I felt bad that my dad might be lonely because he was used to me and my mom and suddendly no one was there. Even though he had TONS of friends and family who are all retired and live within 5 minutes of his house.
Luckily for me, my brother moved home from Upstate NY and that has been a huge burden off of me.

But back to your inital question I did and still do feel alittle guilty for leaving my home. But I know that my family is happy for me. I talk to my dad regularly, I go over his house about once a week, I invite him over. My advice is remember that our parents love us unconditionally and they want all the best for us. Try to find a nice medium of beign there for your Mom but also for your hubby, and talk to your hubby. My DH is great and I have been very lucky with him because he understands my alliance to my dad and never makes me feel like I have to choose between him and my family.

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Kelly, WOW, I know how you feel.

Sorry about your mom

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

Thanks. It has been a year of great extremes in my life. But in the end, I feel really lucky for everything I do have.

And you are an extremely strong individual to handle all you do.

Re: Does anyone feel guilty about getting married? I feel like my mom will feel so lonely, it makes me feel bad.

I'd been living in my own place for about 7 years before getting married, so I didn't feel bad about that. But we bought a house about 75 miles from my parents. I do feel very guilty about that.