Family Drama, need your advice

My FH's parents are in the middle of a divorce. Naturally, this makes for tense relations amongst his mother's and father's families.

We (me and FH) have gone out of our way to make sure that both sides are included, and that everyone got the message that we want this to be an amicable wedding.

Well, at my shower my FH's grandmother on his father's side was apparently very cold to MY mom AND MY stepmom. Which was weird b/c they had never even met before, and what does my family have to do with her? Also, my mom and stepmom didn't talk about htis amongst each other, so I feel like its come from 2 separate sources, and so I believe it to be true.

See the drama starting already?

So I make the HUGE mistake of telling FH's mom that both my mom and stepmom mentioned to me, separately, that FH's grandmother on his father's side was cold to them.

I'll bet you can very easily guess what she did what that information.

She calls FH's dad and yells at him and tells him that his mother really hurt my family's feelings (trust me, they got over it pretty fast) and that I was hurt, and FH was hurt (we were, but didn't intend for the world to know).

Soooo....the drama continues.....FH's dad asks FH to come out and talk to him last night. FH's dad apparently confronted his mother (FH's grandma) and asked her why she was so cold to my family. Of course she denied it and now SHE is upset. UGH!!!

Now this morning FH gets all mad at ME!!!!! for 'getting involved'. He is right, to a degree, because one lesson this has taught me is to NOT pass along ANYTHING to a couple in the middle of a divorce. They will throw all common sense out the window and use anythign they can against each other.

Then FH said his 'joy is gone' for the wedding. Because all the family drama is getting to him.

What can I do???? I know to stay out of his parents fights and NOT PASS ALONG anything anymore. But I feel so bad for FH. I want him to be excited, and happy, and most of all, I want his FAMILY TO BEHAVE!!! and keep FH's happiness in mind.

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

Honestly, there isn't much you can do. It will blow over. Just continue on with your planning and let the families be.

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

I agree...you can't do anything to fix the situation with his family...The best thing is for the two of you to not listen or get involved with the drama..
Try to get him more involved with the wedding details...That always gets my FH excited
BIG HUG

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

Have you sent out the thank you cards for the shower yet? Smooth things over in a super sweet card and it will let her know (rather indirectly) that there are no hard feelings.

Hopefully, they understand it is not you causing this, but the immaturity of his parents behavior. I doubt they are mad at you directly. Just act as if NOTHING happened the next time you see them (probably the wedding...) and it will blow over very quickly.

Good luck!

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

That sucks! I'm sorry. But people here are right- there is not much you can do. as you said yourself- people in the middle of a divorce do through all common sense out the window and just look for weapons. I'm sorry your wedding is in the middle of their BS.

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

I did write my thank you cards, and thank GOD I wrote really sweet things. I will act super nice from now on and maybe even pay them a short visit this weekend.

With FH, I'll just have to 'accentaute the positive' from now on.

I am so sad

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

I'm sure that FH said that in the heat of anger. It'll blow over, and you'll both have the best day of your lives, despite the drama in the background.

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear we were related. My FH's parents just finished up a particularly nasty divorce and believe me, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. The drama got so out of hand that I specifically said to my mother and MOH that I did not want a shower at all.

Continue being your super sweet self around your FILs and focus on your wedding. The two of you will enjoy it regardless of your respective families' situations.



Feel free to FM me if you want to vent, boy do I have stories to tell you!!!

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

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Posted by Kriss2c

Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear we were related. My FH's parents just finished up a particularly nasty divorce and believe me, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. The drama got so out of hand that I specifically said to my mother and MOH that I did not want a shower at all.

Continue being your super sweet self around your FILs and focus on your wedding. The two of you will enjoy it regardless of your respective families' situations.



Feel free to FM me if you want to vent, boy do I have stories to tell you!!!

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Thanks! I may take you up on that! Let's see what transpires tonight with the In-Laws!

Re: Family Drama, need your advice

Good luck!